struggling with 2.5 yo whining

[psshh03]

Basically, my 2.5 yo has been whining and throwing fits all day long for a while now. I've been trying to track down a root cause to this and at first I thought it was because of tension between DH and I, then because I'm preg and have been telling her lately "I can't do this" or "I can't do that", or sleep issues (we've recently-about 2 months ago-switched from nursing to sleep, to laying with her until she falls asleep...and she will only sleep 10 hours no matter what we do and it's not always a straight 10 hours).

I do think she is tired. I've tried giving her more snacks thinking maybe she is hungry and doesn't realize it. Is she bored? I try to keep her busy.

I'm just losing my patience and don't like the parent I'm turning into. Sometimes I have to remove myself from situations and she gets even more upset, screaming for me to not leave her, etc. I've limited her nursing, as I don't think she is ready to wean, but it is just incredibly uncomfortable because of the preg. so I feel guilty about limiting her, but I CAN'T do it sometimes. What we generally do ask her nicely to stop doing whatever it is she's doing, and that pretty much never works so we either take whatever she has that we asked for away, or remove her from the situation (take her off a chair). Recently I've had to use a firmer voice...and now when she gets mad, she uses it right back at me.

I just don't know what to do about the whining (we generally don't give her what she wants unless it's a valid request)...it's driving me nuts. And I have a feeling that her behavior is only going to get worse when the baby comes (2.5 to 4 weeks). I always thought if you didn't give them what they wanted every time they whined, they learned to stop...

And the tantrums go along with the whining if she doesn't get what she wants (a popsicle for breakfast, watch a video, take a bath right now, etc).

Any suggestions??? I'm desperate.

[Rlin]

I have a 2 year old and he has more tantrums when he's tired or hungry. The whining drove me crazy, so I talked with him about using your normal voice and the whining voice. I told him I couldn't listen to the whining voice and if he could try to use his normal voice when he wanted something. It took some time but everytime he used whining I just asked if he could try his normal voice (and we had a few "yes-days", whenever he managed to use the normal voice, I'd say yes to the request). We talked about it when he was in a good mood, I'd use his stuffed animals to model it for him, I'd let them talk with a whiney voice and we would cover our ears and ask the stuffed animal to please try it again with a normal voice, etc. For my 2 year old, distraction and finding fun in every situation helped a lot. He thinks it is hilarious when his stuffed animals help him get dressed, go potty, brush teeth, eat etc. It helps us to get through the normal life things without tantrums. When I feel we have been fighting eachother too much, I do a "yes-day" to help us both reset. I am also still nursing my son, and I don't want to nurse him during the day (it takes too much of my energy), but sometimes he really needs it. I negotiate with him that he can nurse for a little while and then we eat something else, or read a book, play a game etc.

[psshh03]

Thanks for the reply! It was helpful

[silybum]

My 2yo is also whining sometimes, usually when I am not giving her the attention she wants. Yesterday I got down next to her and asked her (gently and kind of jokingly), "Why are you whining?" She didn't know. Instead, she started fake-whining/singing?, which was so cute, and we both laughed. We ended up playing. I think I'll try this again, a sort of playful parenting approach that another mama on here suggested.