Three year old does not listen!

[mrsdocmartin]

I know a lot of this is normal, age related behavior, but honestly, how do you deal?? DD is only 9 wks, so I know that the transition probably plays a role too, but he has gotten downright defiant. I don't want to use punishment, or bribery, but am resorting to these things when I'm at my wits end.

Example: DD is in her swing, DS goes up and tries to push the swing. DH says gently, "Quinn, please don't push Eliza's swing, you can hurt her". "OK, daddy" 30 seconds later, he goes up, pushes the swing again.

DH is right there, so ensures DS does not hurt DD.

This stuff happens ALL DAY.

[MamaPhD]

I think it sounds like impulse control issue more than listening issue. He is probably totally fascinated by the baby, so even though he understands you/hubby when you tell him stuff, he just really really really wants to do the opposite. I only have one DD at 22 mo so can't speak from experience. But have you tried to let him do things he wants to do? Usually works for my and DD.

In the above example (I know it's just ONE example), but I would say, "wow you must really want to help your baby sister and push her swing, but you can hurt her if you are not gentle. Do you want to try to push very gently with daddy?" And just let him gently touch the swing. Then say "if you want to push her swing more, please tell mommy and we will do it together". This way, you've addressed 1)boy is curious about baby and you show him you respect that, 2)you make sure boy is gentle with baby, 3)you encourage boy+baby interaction rather than prevent it.

But then again, ask me again when our #2 is born next Spring, I might face same issues as you, right?