Am I too relaxed about potty training?

[tuscany123]

DS is 28 mo. He goes to a full-time pre-school as I work full time. I worry that perhaps I am not encouraging him to potty train enough. My DD was fully 3 yrs old before she was potty trained completely, and I think I did not help her enough either.

Right now DS sees the potty more as a toy. He plays with the lid. He'll sit on it, then get up after 2 seconds. Again and again. DH takes DS in with him when he uses the bathroom, so DS knows you stand up to pee, and sit down to poop.

At pre-school they take the 2-3 yr olds to the potty at least twice a day. My son does not "go", but he sees there is a routine. But he really does not seem interested.

I know lots of other kids in our circle that were potty trained at 2, or just a little older. A couple of kids in his preschool class of 8 our potty trained already.

I see the books out there about potty training, and I am wondering if I need to learn some kind of "technique" to help my son. Or should I keep my fairly relaxed attitude and let him show me when he is ready? I don't want to miss the opportunity to really help him with this because I am being too relaxed about this, but I don't want to stress him out either.

Any advice will be much appreciated!

[crunchy_mommy]

I don't know, I am also way too relaxed with the whole thing. He will pee in the potty almost every time it's offered but I'm horrible about offering. A few times he even asked and I told him no (mostly because he just went or we were in a rush or something)... I think my lifestyle is just too rushed & hectic to devote much attention to it, it's way easier to just change a diaper every now & then because DS pees SOOOO often, but I really have to bite the bullet and let him train since he seems clearly ready.

[sapphire_chan]

Peeing a lot will actually help him learn from since he's ready. And as he gets better and better with the potty he should go longer and longer between pees.

[lifeguard]

I don't think there is really a right or wrong way to do it (unless of course you are using shame or anger).

I made a real concerted effort & ds is completely out of diapers & has been for a few weeks now. But it's still a lot of work each day. I have to always be aware of time, especially if he's really engrossed in an activity, & find I need to carry changes of clothes with us all the time just in case. BUT I have one child & am sahm so I have the time to devote to it. I can totally see how in different circumstances I might have gone a different route.

[Peony]

Eh, I'm relaxed myself. With DD1, I had a potty and she sat on it often of her choice but I did nothing to actually get her to PL, just wanted until she wanted to, which was 2.5. I did zero work honestly. With DD2 I put effort into it because I was pg with DS and I didn't want two in diapers. I felt that the PLing was 75% my effort and 25% hers for quite a while. The constant watching of the clock, reminding, taking her every time before we left any place, it sucked. She was PLed right after 2 but with DS I think I will go back to my relaxed ways.

[lyra2007]

If you're relaxed, I'm comatose. I mean, it'll happen, right? No one goes to kindergarten in diapers. That's what I tell myself anyway.

[mom2lucy]

yep, pretty much comatose here too. DD is 31 mo. and had a spurt of interest about 2 months ago but has since lost any desire. i do ask her occasionally if she wants to sit on the potty and she always says no. i've been so lax about it because i've got a 5 mo. old that i'm also busy with. i'm kinda starting to feel some pressure to get her trained though, so i think we're going to take a weekend here soon and do one of the 3 day methods.

[tuscany123]

i'm kinda starting to feel some pressure to get her trained though, so i think we're going to take a weekend here soon and do one of the 3 day methods. - Mom2Lucy

Which 3 day method? Thanks - Tuscany

[CrunchyChristianMama]

Originally Posted by lyra2007

If you're relaxed, I'm comatose. I mean, it'll happen, right? No one goes to kindergarten in diapers. That's what I tell myself anyway.

I ended up deciding to actively potty train my DD because I actually know a woman whose DS is almost 5 and he still refuses to use the potty and she has taken the laid back approach. I decided I didn't want that and I didn't really want 2 in diapers, so we did the three day method. Granted it took us longer than 3 days because I have a very stubborn, strong-willed DD, but I'm still glad I did it.

[MamaPhD]

I am currently doing PL with DD, only because she came to me one day (1-2 weeks ago)and said, "diaper bye bye, panty try!" and ripped off her diaper. She's been mostly naked at home since then (she thinks she has to take both top and bottom to sit on the potty, lol!) and we are making progress kinda slowly. Otherwise I think I would have just waited. Although, I did hear around 18mo-2yr is a good age because kids are more wanting to please parents when this young and more willing to go with your program. On the other hand, waiting to 3yr might be a faster transition because kids may be really ready by then.

[prothyraia]

Eh, I was really relaxed about it with my oldest son. We got him a potty, showed him how it worked, and let him play with it. After a few months, when he was about 2 1/2, he just decided one day that he was going to use the potty (right around mother's day, actually ).

So for a couple weeks after that he got candy treats for using (or attempting to use) the potty, and hasn't had a daytime accident since.

We're doing pretty much the same with two year old now. I'm not interested in getting involved in the process any more than that; he can use the potty when he wants to (assuming I haven't reached the end of my rope with diaper changes, heh). Easier for me, easier for him!

[mom2lucy]

Originally Posted by tuscany123

Which 3 day method? Thanks - Tuscany

I've heard others here suggest Lori Jansen's method. I think you can google it, or try a thread search and you should find some info.
Good luck!

[delightedbutterfly]

Yep super relaxed here. And honestly a couple of the previous posters are making my point... PLing a younger child is *usually* more work for the parent. Sorry I Learned how to regulate MY bodily functions already I am not going to regulate my childs for them with forced schedules, time watching and more accidents.

DD1 fought us and would not PL. One day she was tried of her constant diaper rash (she also fought us changing her bum) and she finally listened to us say that if she went on the potty the diaper rash would stop. She learned that day. Have we has accidents? Yes but maybe only once every few months. She was 3 and a few months when she was ready.

I have no regrets. I will wait until DD2 is ready as well. She has shown interest in the potty and in panties but doesn't want to PL. She will when she's ready. She's 26 months, she's still just a baby in my eyes.

Don't fret. Some children learn early and some learn late. As long as you offer the equipment and follow their lead they will be fine.
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