When your gut doesn't say "everything is fine"

[DevaMajka]

If your dc did something "odd" and your gut didn't say "everything is fine," how did it turn out?

When ds1 was 18mos old, we were referred to speech therapy. Dp and I both just "knew" that everything was fine. We skipped the speech therapy, and everything was indeed fine.

But with ds2, there are some things that I wonder about. Sometimes, my gut says that something is off. Other times, there's just a distinct lack of "everything is fine." Dp is sure everything is normal. The current thing I'm concerned about, which I posted in another thread, is headbanging and acting wild and "out of control".
My main suspect is food sensitivities. I definitely think it's pssible that I'm overanalyzing the food sensitivity possibility. My gut is saying autism isn't a concern- he's already doing some things that I've read indicate that autism is very unlikely.

But basically, I'm interested in knowing how accurate that little nagging feeling has been for you.

[2boyzmama]

So far my gut has been 100%.

nak

my oldest head banged and self injured during severe tantrums. we eventually discovered he's reactive to gluten. take it away and we have a new kid. unfortunately it took me over 2 years to figure it out.

[Julybug]

I hear what you're saying. Our issues are a little different, but I also can't get over the feeling that "something is in his way". My son was born with torticollis and developed plagiocephaly (stupid first pediatrician didn't say much about it until his head was really flat, and I switched to a ped who flagged it immediately!). Plus, we were having related nursing issues from the outset. We worked hard with CST, home PT, repositioning, and a little later, chiropractic. He is now 14 months old, and has oral motor issues, and still off and on nursing issues (teeth scraping on me, losing suction, etc.) - some of it is actually worse now than it was a few months ago. He also babbles a lot, but doesn't really say anything except Mama and Dada/Daddy (and those only sort of). He understands a lot, though, and can follow directions when he is in the mood - so I'm a bit worried about his having trouble with speech production. I'm now suspecting that a labial tongue tie - and maybe even posterior tongue tie - may be an issue. I'm trying to figure out who to go to for that. I don't want to go to someone who is too calm about it and leaves us in the same lurch, if there really is something to be done.

I have been very dogged on trying to follow up on anything that makes me feel there is something wrong. I can't help it. As a comparison, we went through several months (about 5 months!) where he wasn't pooping regularly - he did just fine until about 5 1/2 - 6mo (before solids introduction), and then he had trouble going until about 11mo. Unlike some kids, he was tremendously uncomfortable - to sometimes in a fair amount of pain - from it. We tried everything we could think of - dietary changes for him, baby yoga, plenty of nursing, etc. It was extremely frustrating for all of us - he would wake up screaming in the middle of the night sometimes. However, through all that, I had a feeling if we could just wait it out, it would get better. And it did, on its own! Now he goes regularly with a more varied diet. But I don't feel that way about the oral issues. So I totally get what you're saying about having a feeling that something is wrong.

Anyway, have you considered CST and/or chiropractic for him? That could help, with a variety of causes. I lived with headaches for most of my life until I started going to the chiropractor semi-regularly. It has made a HUGE difference in my quality of life. If he's physically uncomfortable, that could possibly be a cause of head-banging and tantrums.

Best of luck finding something that helps.

[dakotablue]

No advice, but I will say that in my experience with children with disabilities the 'mommy gut' is almost always right. Occasionally you get over reactive parents but you've already proven your not by your reaction to first DC.

It could be allergies, but I wouldn't put off listening to your gut. I've seen many kids whose moms had to fight TONS of people to then be proved right and moms who avoided until it couldn't be avoided and regretted the little voice they had always heard.

best of luck. Trust Yourself.

[sapphire_chan]

The thing to do is test it. Is your gut feeling strong enough to make it worth it for you to try an elimination diet for the two of you?

Mind you, if you aren't seeing other food sensitivity signs like skin problems or bathroom trouble, I'd actually also increase his cholesterols and fats immediately. Diet has a huge effect on kids' developing nervous systems even just on a daily basis.

[shelbean91]

My gut with ds1 was he had 'just a speech delay' and it turned out he had autism. my gut with ds2 was he was 'fine'. Then it was that he was 'not fine - he has a speech delay'. Now, my gut is 'he has autism' and we're in the process of getting dx'd. What was hard for me is the symptoms are SO different for my ds1 and ds2.

getting an eval is the place to start - it will either alleviate your fears or will let you know what you're dealing with and how to proceed.

[DevaMajka]

It's interesting to read the responses!

I've realized that it's not the headbanging in and of itself that worries me. It's days when every little thing upsets him and makes him headbang, and he's just completely uncooperative about things that he normally is happy to do.
He's been acting normal the last few days, and while he has done a little headbanging, it's not the same...intensity (craziness?) as the times that worry me.

Like a pp said, it could be pain related- maybe teeth? A chiro might be a good starting point, too. And since he has a history of food sensitivities, that certainly sticks out as a possibility.

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

The thing to do is test it. Is your gut feeling strong enough to make it worth it for you to try an elimination diet for the two of you?

Sort of. We did an ED when he had a rash that wouldn't go away, and got quite bad. We found out he was sensitive to sweet potato, but even after taking it out, the rash didn't totally go away. It was a bunch of months of ED'ing, and I could never track down another trigger in my food journal. After ditching the ED and eating a wide variety, it improved within a week, and a month later it was gone (we also added probiotics and fish oil).

So I would do an ED if I thought it would help, and I've actually eliminated a couple foods. But my next step is to really work on vitamins, supplements, probiotics, clo, all that stuff.

Mind you, if you aren't seeing other food sensitivity signs like skin problems or bathroom trouble, I'd actually also increase his cholesterols and fats immediately. Diet has a huge effect on kids' developing nervous systems even just on a daily basis.

He recently (actually, started about the time of the headbanging) had a rash on his bum for a week or so. (His other rash was in his diaper area too, and was definitely not caused by diapers or anything external). And he has had lots of undigested food, soft unformed poop, and more recently mucousy poop. His rash could be caused by the poop (even though we change him immediately), but from past experience we know it's not necessarily the cause.

He eats a fair bit of cheese and yogurt, but we eat very little meat. I am liberal with my use of olive oil in cooking. But I will keep that in mind for my current plan- which is basically to make sure our nutrition is top-notch.

[MichelleW]

I'm experiencing similar with my son (approaching 37 months - yikes!). Everyone else says it is part of the normal 2-3yo., but my DP & I think there is more to it.
We've not done any ED, but chiro is part of our regular life.
He used to bite himself (his hand), but not others. He'll head-bang some, and I am trying to figure out the words for what else is "off". I guess attention-seeking behaviour, and not listening to "no"/"stop"/"not safe" ever!!! (Although there are times he seems angelic - like waiting for an hour at a restaurant for dinner, when the rest of us were getting quite antsy.)
Probably not the same thing, but glad to know someone else has gut feelings that aren't being addressed.

Hope you get some answers soon!