I have complete placenta previa... so its not like its a question of if I need a c-section or not (and we will be checking again before the surgery just in case it moved) but I am so upset and miserable about this upcoming surgery.
I've had two vaginal births with not even a single tear between them.
The doctors I am seeing are so stuck up and on their high horses and so so busy I can't even speak to them for anything (perinatologists, my last baby was a stillbirth at 38 weeks and I just spent 3 days in the hospital for a major previa bleed). But they are the *bestest* doctors from every nurse and prior patient posting about them online, and the ONLY ones available at this hospital (Kaiser). Going to another hospital to possibly have a different perinatologist covered under my insurance would be an additional long drive plus a lower nicu rating (heaven forbid we'd need the nicu).
Regardless of the fact that the ONE time that the specific specialist doctor saw me during my hospital stay he said that we'd schedule a c-section "about 3 weeks before your due date" they have me scheduled for a section at 36 weeks, *and* his notes state scheduling a section at 36 weeks regardless of what he told me (and he was quite snotty when I said "3 weeks before my due date, so 37 weeks, correct?"). When seeing me at the hospital he even corrected my freaking grammar when I responded to a question!
Trying to get answers about why they have me scheduled then (because without a medical reason I want to wait until 37 weeks, which I feel from research is a better choice in timing, understanding they don't want me to go into labor on my own and have the placenta detach/bleed) is impossible. For pete's sakes I'm scheduled for twice a week NSTs in the same hallway as the doctor and the NST nurse can't even get to speak to him for 5 minutes the HOUR I was there, nor was she able to get ahold of him to call me back about the matter when I was one of the first appointments of the day at the NST (the NST nurse btw is wonderful, I really like her).
The NST nurse doesn't even KNOW if I'll have a prenatal appointment prior to the appointment on the 27th for an amnio to check for lung maturity (c-section is scheduled on the 29th for the moment). What?! Granted the NSTs do *everything* the prenatals do, but I need to see the doctor and I have questions and concerns here! Especially questions and concerns about wanting my baby with me continually after her birth, surgical or not as long as she doesn't have medical needs requiring the nursery, and to ask about the standards of babies in recovery and such.
I was waiting for the nurse to call me back today (thinking surely in a full day she'd get ahold of the doctor for me) to tell her that I require a prenatal regardless of the system feeling I "need" to or not to cover my concerns. I'll be addressing at least this issue on tuesday at my next NST.
So here I've gone on about all my worries that are only touching base on the c-section and I'm so freaked out just about the c-section itself as much as I am at the lack of communication, feeling pushed around and my wishes denied/ignored. I feel so completely powerless. I have anxiety that I can't treat with medication while pregnant, and just the thought of having to fight tooth and nail to have some minimum wishes followed with these "we know best you silly girl" doctors makes me feel pukey and close to a panic attack.
I'm not writing necessarily to get answers on what to *do*, I know the only thing *to* do is suck it up and push for my answers and needs to be met... but I could sure use a shoulder to cry on. People around me IRL that I've tried to speak to seem to think I should just be grateful this baby is alive and trying to point out the positives of a scheduled c-section (as if scheduling the c-section two days before Halloween, one of my favorite holidays is a benefit for me? Oh yes yippie skippy lets be in the miserable depressing hospital for *that*... as if modified bedrest isn't limiting enough on a holiday that generally requires being on your feet lots! The benefits of *scheduling* a birth ahead of time should be some say in when it is scheduled, yes?) and why Lisa you NEED this so you baby lives, so what's the problem?! Of course I'm grateful that this procedure is available so my child can live! I'd walk through fire for her to live, especially after loosing Fiona, but I can't be sad and upset and disappointed and scared and wanting to be treated as an equal partner in my own birthing experience with my doctors??
I've had two vaginal births with not even a single tear between them.
The doctors I am seeing are so stuck up and on their high horses and so so busy I can't even speak to them for anything (perinatologists, my last baby was a stillbirth at 38 weeks and I just spent 3 days in the hospital for a major previa bleed). But they are the *bestest* doctors from every nurse and prior patient posting about them online, and the ONLY ones available at this hospital (Kaiser). Going to another hospital to possibly have a different perinatologist covered under my insurance would be an additional long drive plus a lower nicu rating (heaven forbid we'd need the nicu).
Regardless of the fact that the ONE time that the specific specialist doctor saw me during my hospital stay he said that we'd schedule a c-section "about 3 weeks before your due date" they have me scheduled for a section at 36 weeks, *and* his notes state scheduling a section at 36 weeks regardless of what he told me (and he was quite snotty when I said "3 weeks before my due date, so 37 weeks, correct?"). When seeing me at the hospital he even corrected my freaking grammar when I responded to a question!
Trying to get answers about why they have me scheduled then (because without a medical reason I want to wait until 37 weeks, which I feel from research is a better choice in timing, understanding they don't want me to go into labor on my own and have the placenta detach/bleed) is impossible. For pete's sakes I'm scheduled for twice a week NSTs in the same hallway as the doctor and the NST nurse can't even get to speak to him for 5 minutes the HOUR I was there, nor was she able to get ahold of him to call me back about the matter when I was one of the first appointments of the day at the NST (the NST nurse btw is wonderful, I really like her).
The NST nurse doesn't even KNOW if I'll have a prenatal appointment prior to the appointment on the 27th for an amnio to check for lung maturity (c-section is scheduled on the 29th for the moment). What?! Granted the NSTs do *everything* the prenatals do, but I need to see the doctor and I have questions and concerns here! Especially questions and concerns about wanting my baby with me continually after her birth, surgical or not as long as she doesn't have medical needs requiring the nursery, and to ask about the standards of babies in recovery and such.
I was waiting for the nurse to call me back today (thinking surely in a full day she'd get ahold of the doctor for me) to tell her that I require a prenatal regardless of the system feeling I "need" to or not to cover my concerns. I'll be addressing at least this issue on tuesday at my next NST.
So here I've gone on about all my worries that are only touching base on the c-section and I'm so freaked out just about the c-section itself as much as I am at the lack of communication, feeling pushed around and my wishes denied/ignored. I feel so completely powerless. I have anxiety that I can't treat with medication while pregnant, and just the thought of having to fight tooth and nail to have some minimum wishes followed with these "we know best you silly girl" doctors makes me feel pukey and close to a panic attack.
I'm not writing necessarily to get answers on what to *do*, I know the only thing *to* do is suck it up and push for my answers and needs to be met... but I could sure use a shoulder to cry on. People around me IRL that I've tried to speak to seem to think I should just be grateful this baby is alive and trying to point out the positives of a scheduled c-section (as if scheduling the c-section two days before Halloween, one of my favorite holidays is a benefit for me? Oh yes yippie skippy lets be in the miserable depressing hospital for *that*... as if modified bedrest isn't limiting enough on a holiday that generally requires being on your feet lots! The benefits of *scheduling* a birth ahead of time should be some say in when it is scheduled, yes?) and why Lisa you NEED this so you baby lives, so what's the problem?! Of course I'm grateful that this procedure is available so my child can live! I'd walk through fire for her to live, especially after loosing Fiona, but I can't be sad and upset and disappointed and scared and wanting to be treated as an equal partner in my own birthing experience with my doctors??
HUGS to you.
But OBs these days do everything they can to hold off until /at least/ 37 weeks. That your doctor wants to schedule you at 36 weeks is just crazy in this situation.
My second c-section was necessary after a first traumatic unnecessary experience. I am thankful for the procedure and that my baby was born healthy, but I'm still sad it had to be that way. Yes, we can be thankful for medical help and procedures, but it is ok to grieve being ill, or in this case having a pregnancy situation that isn't the norm. Awesome that we live in a day and age where you and your baby can be taken care of in this situation, but it doesn't change the fact that it really is not good that you have the situation to deal with in the first place.
