My kid is THAT kid

[LilaQ]

And I am THAT Momma. My 13 mo. son is a new walker and it's all he wants to do all.day.long. Most of the time this is fine but lately when we try to eat out or shop or anything that requires him to sit still, he shrieks until I get him out of the chair or stroller or cart. I've left stores a few times because I cannot stand to be THAT woman with THAT kid.

He doesn't talk yet but has several signs. But there's no confusion about what he wants--if I let him down to walk around, he's suddenly happy smiley baby again. Sometimes it's just not feasible or safe for him to walk! Food, toys, etc, do not distract him.

How do you handle this???

[sapphire_chan]

I've had some limited luck with going through the store VERY FAST. I mean, only shop places where you know where everything is, have a list, mentally map out your route through the store to get everything, buckle the kid in and practically jog through.

Riding in a fast moving cart can be exciting enough that my dd doesn't mind not walking herself.

As for eating out, I wouldn't even try to have both adults eating at the same time at this stage. Save going out for weekend lunches so you can take turns walking him around outside.

[physmom]

Eh, DD totally was/is that kid and she's definitely not a new walker anymore! One thing that we've really worked on is getting her to hold our hands so she can walk on sidewalks with us while we're outside. We don't have a car so we always walk to the grocery store etc. and that's one of the main ways she gets out this extra energy. Also in restaurants many times DH and I just had to take turns taking her outside and walking her back and forth. That being said now at 20 months she's infinitely better because she eats so much more and will happily eat while we are.

However, there are sometimes she just can't walk (like if we're taking a super full subway). Then I just throw her on my back amidst her shrieks and wails and go on my way. Just this past week I had to juggle her, two heavy bags and her diaper bag on the subway and she screamed a good portion of the way because she wanted to walk. Sometimes it helps if I sing to her or bounce a bit while walking, though. I do have to say, I'm looking forward to the days where she has better impulse control and can walk next to me all the time so I'm not wearing a toddler while also carrying so much other crap!

ETA: it also helps to find more fun restaurants (doesn't have to be a kids place!). There's one pizzeria nearby that has a huge hill outside and is on a major road so ambulances/fire trucks are constantly going by, that helps a lot! A Japanese restaurant that we frequent has booths (we've found booths are way better than high chairs for DD because she can stand up and walk a bit inside the booth) and there are large colorful paintings at each booth that she loves to check out (and the food is really colorful!).

[Just1More]

Let him push your cart. I've had several sock-footed babies wandering around a store pushing my cart in front of them. (because they insisted, and I didn't have their shoes with me.)

You could also start to introduce the idea of boundaries and time to him. Just little things like when you are doing things at home, say, "Mama is going to do x, THEN you can do y." Make it short and stick to it. He'll slowly get the idea, and slowly you can increase the amount of time it takes you to do whatever. Then you can go to the store and say, "We have to get milk, bead, and eggs, and THEN you can walk." Etc.

But, really, just do what you gotta do. I require a lot out of my little ones, but 13mo is still a BABY. If people are looking at you funny, just say something like, "Yeah, just one of those days ." And move on. Babies cry. NO big deal. NO guilt.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by Just1More

You could also start to introduce the idea of boundaries and time to him. Just little things like when you are doing things at home, say, "Mama is going to do x, THEN you can do y." Make it short and stick to it. He'll slowly get the idea, and slowly you can increase the amount of time it takes you to do whatever. Then you can go to the store and say, "We have to get milk, bead, and eggs, and THEN you can walk." Etc.

ITA. DD now gets the concept If you want X then we have to do Y first. It's helped so much. It took a little while to get it but it's really been great to deal with toddler impatience!

[The4OfUs]

Yep to both PPs. I didn't go out to eat with either of my kids from about 16 months to nearly 3 years old becasue it was just more work than enjoymentfor me - I would rather be at home not worried about the running around and shrieking and 5-minute attention span that trying to contain/entertain/mitigate out in public. And despite that long hiatus each time, they are perfectly well behaved in restaurants now at 6-1/2 and 4.

I would always bring a stash of snacks and toys to use in the cart to dole out as people got squirmy (usually things they *only* got in the cart), and then when that failed, I would put them in a carrier whether they were happy about it or not and just plow through to get it done and out of there. I am not a person who is willing to chase a kid through a store walking around. We got plenty of walking around time in the back yard, at playgrounds, and on walks, and in wide open public spaces when I wasn't trying to accomplish something. It was the early version of "kid time" and "mom time"....when we didn't have anything to accomplish, we went on their timetable....when there was stuff to be done, we went on mine. I was sympathetic and gentle when they were unhappy about it, but firm.