Did not 'pass' hearing test - Page 2

[fairejour]

Originally Posted by journeywooz 

I'm sorry you feel that way.  I may have come across as harsh, but I think you misunderstood me. As a matter of fact, I'm deaf.  My DH is deaf.  Our DD is deaf as well.  We communicate in american sign language.  Hearing aids never worked well for me, but I read lips very well.  DH wears them occasionally and speaks very well, but finds that he gets his point across way clearer communicating through asl.  Our 18 month old can communicate her needs very well through sign language (along with lots of fun words and thoughts).  We function just like every other member of society with help of a few accommodations.  We socialize with both hearing and deaf peers.

As for your case, there are resources and services that will provide free hearing aids and molds.

But remember, hearing aids don't always work for everyone.  There will be bits and pieces missed.  When we go to sleep, we're deaf.  When we run out of hearing aid batteries, we're deaf.  When we go swimming, we're deaf.  I think you get the picture.  I was forced to wear hearing aids and go through extensive speech therapy during grade school, and they were such a pain.  Hearing aids were just noisy messes and I could never stay focused.  The audiologists and teachers kept telling me that it was the best thing for me, and I was required to keep them on at all times during school hours. All that auditory research and twiddling around with my ears growing up didn't do squat.  The best thing that happened to me (and many other deaf people) was access to language.  Remember, language isn't only spoken.  It's also through hands, eyes, body language, and so much more.  Our minds need expanding, and there are so many different ways to communicate. 

It's so important that parents learn sign language and work with their children.  Fairejour, I am so happy that you took the time (money, and effort) to learn sign language.  It's one of the best gifts you can give your child.. and family.  I look at any kind of (non-invasive) auditory technology and language as accommodations rather than interventions.  Children don't need interventions, we do.

I'm not pointing fingers here.  The point is that, I've met way too many parents give birth to a child, finds out that they've 'failed' the hearing test.  Many of them find themselves at loss of knowledge about deafness.  Most of them have never met another deaf adult.  And of course, with money and science in the picture--they end up trying to fix their child, withdrawing sign language and pushing auditory/verbal training on the kids under medical advice, in hopes that they'll be a "fully-functioning member of society"...only to get themselves bitten in the long run.  I really have seen that happen too often.  We need to focus on what we can do, rather than what we can't do.   I strongly believe that deafness (blindness, or many other disabilities) are beautiful gifts that do not need to be fixed... Instead, deaf children need to be listened to. 

My frustration is seeing that many people don't look at disabilities as a positive thing, an unique gift.  I understand that it does take extra work and nurturing, but as do everything else in life to a degree.  I did a search on mothering and could only find things about how hearing needs to be fixed... that it's oh-so sad that deaf people can't do this or that--rather than focusing on what we can do to unconditionally accept our individuality.  Attachment parenting works beautifully for me as a deaf mother of a deaf girl, and I really do wish I could find that common ground around here.

I'm offering perspective from the other side here.  This is not only my voice, but so many others' as well.

Guess what, I do use ASL AND my daughter has bilateral cochlear implants. So, rather than "suffering through speech", she adores going. She loves her auditory verbal therapy. SHE asked to go to oral school. SHE asks us to stop signing, she says "I can hear you!". SHE asked for a second implant. She is able to understand spoken language without lipreading. She is not hearing, but she hears at "normal" levels and understands greater than 96% of speech without visual aids.

Yes, I have met many Deaf adults who suffered through oralism, I have also met many deaf adults who loved their upbringing and advocate FOR spoken language for deaf children. Yes, your story is valid and I understand it and value it, but I also value theirs.

I do not appreciate judgement, and your's is harsh. I fear that this kind of harshness is what pushes other families away from the Deaf community.

[journeywooz]

Why are you being hostile?  I'm not the only one passing judgment here. 

I'm glad your daughter is working well with her implants.  Most of all, I'm thrilled that you're exposing ASL to her (again, like in my previous post, it's the best thing you can give a deaf child).  I have seen some great results in adults who are implanted.  And that's a result of encouraging that all venues of communication be open.

The point is that I'm just expressing my thoughts and opinion.  You can take it or leave it.  I would just like to see people put disability in a different perspective. 

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Originally Posted by journeywooz 

I'm sorry you feel that way.  I may have come across as harsh, but I think you misunderstood me. As a matter of fact, I'm deaf.  My DH is deaf.  Our DD is deaf as well.  We communicate in american sign language.  Hearing aids never worked well for me, but I read lips very well.  DH wears them occasionally and speaks very well, but finds that he gets his point across way clearer communicating through asl.  Our 18 month old can communicate her needs very well through sign language (along with lots of fun words and thoughts).  We function just like every other member of society with help of a few accommodations.  We socialize with both hearing and deaf peers.

As for your case, there are resources and services that will provide free hearing aids and molds.

But remember, hearing aids don't always work for everyone.  There will be bits and pieces missed.  When we go to sleep, we're deaf.  When we run out of hearing aid batteries, we're deaf.  When we go swimming, we're deaf.  I think you get the picture.  I was forced to wear hearing aids and go through extensive speech therapy during grade school, and they were such a pain.  Hearing aids were just noisy messes and I could never stay focused.  The audiologists and teachers kept telling me that it was the best thing for me, and I was required to keep them on at all times during school hours. All that auditory research and twiddling around with my ears growing up didn't do squat.  The best thing that happened to me (and many other deaf people) was access to language.  Remember, language isn't only spoken.  It's also through hands, eyes, body language, and so much more.  Our minds need expanding, and there are so many different ways to communicate. 

It's so important that parents learn sign language and work with their children.  Fairejour, I am so happy that you took the time (money, and effort) to learn sign language.  It's one of the best gifts you can give your child.. and family.  I look at any kind of (non-invasive) auditory technology and language as accommodations rather than interventions.  Children don't need interventions, we do.

I'm not pointing fingers here.  The point is that, I've met way too many parents give birth to a child, finds out that they've 'failed' the hearing test.  Many of them find themselves at loss of knowledge about deafness.  Most of them have never met another deaf adult.  And of course, with money and science in the picture--they end up trying to fix their child, withdrawing sign language and pushing auditory/verbal training on the kids under medical advice, in hopes that they'll be a "fully-functioning member of society"...only to get themselves bitten in the long run.  I really have seen that happen too often.  We need to focus on what we can do, rather than what we can't do.   I strongly believe that deafness (blindness, or many other disabilities) are beautiful gifts that do not need to be fixed... Instead, deaf children need to be listened to. 

My frustration is seeing that many people don't look at disabilities as a positive thing, an unique gift.  I understand that it does take extra work and nurturing, but as do everything else in life to a degree.  I did a search on mothering and could only find things about how hearing needs to be fixed... that it's oh-so sad that deaf people can't do this or that--rather than focusing on what we can do to unconditionally accept our individuality.  Attachment parenting works beautifully for me as a deaf mother of a deaf girl, and I really do wish I could find that common ground around here.

I'm offering perspective from the other side here.  This is not only my voice, but so many others' as well.

That is a great perspective!  So, I think  If I am interpreting your post correctly, you are talking about genetic deafness?  It's very similar to the feeling that many have regarding neurodiversity and autism.  You may find this thread very interesting.

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/926323/what-autism-acceptance-means-setting-the-record-straight 

But finding out the reason that a child may have hearing loss does not mean that that child isn't being accepted.  Perhaps the child has food or environmental allergies creating fluid buildup.  Perhaps they have had many ear infections and has scar tissue.  Maybe it's not actually hearing loss, but an auditory processing disorder. 

[by-the-lake]

Originally Posted by QueenOfTheMeadow 

 

But finding out the reason that a child may have hearing loss does not mean that that child isn't being accepted.  Perhaps the child has food or environmental allergies creating fluid buildup.  Perhaps they have had many ear infections and has scar tissue.  Maybe it's not actually hearing loss, but an auditory processing disorder. 

Thank you for this. This is the stage of the game we are at now. To be told I am not accepting of 'disability' at this stage is way out of line. This is not my first rodeo. My DD age 7, has ASD. She first lent us clues to this due to a speech delay. When DS presents with a speech delay, I am going every avenue to find out 'why'. So he does not have hearing loss. Thasts great. He still has a speech delay. I love and accept him no matter what. Same with DD.

PP, do not apply your situation and how 'other parents' are to me. Do not make sweeping generalizations about me or my child when all I am doing is collecting information from mamas with similar situations. My children are special, unique gifts; do not suggest I do not know this.

[fairejour]

I'm hostile because I hear this ALL DAY EVERY DAY. Every time Deaf person sees my child's implants, every time they see her speaak to me. I have been told that I have commited genocide, that I am a Nazi, and that I "raped my child's body" by "putting that THING inside her". Why can't the Deaf community accept me, my family, and my listening and speaking child?

[journeywooz]

You're exactly right.  And maybe it's the same the other way around?  It's like circ..if it ain't broke, don't fix it.  We're tired of hearing people putting themselves on a pedestal, thinking they know everything.  We're fine the way we are. 

But point aside, I do understand your frustration from the other side.  You did what you felt was best for your child, and you followed through with therapy and sign language.  Many parents just think that once their kids are implanted, they're all cured.  It takes work.  Just like for every other child.  You already know that.

[fairejour]

And since you don't know my family's story, I will tell you. Her hearing was broken. She was born hearing and then lost it because of a horrible mistake by a doctor. She had something, and it was taken away from her.

I also have no problem with parents of children who are profoundly deaf from birth implanting their children. They are giving their children options. They are giing them the option to hear, or to not. If you do not implant, the child does not have that option. It has been taken from them. They can never access speech through listening. If they get implanted as an adult, that still will not happen. So, either way, the parent makes the decision. Choosing to wait is simple choosing no.

I find it offensive that people think they have the right to judge. Just as I would die defending a parent who implanted their child, I would die defending your right NOT to implant. How dare ANYONE think they have the right to choose ANYTHING for my child! I am her mother, I am her advocate, I know her heart and soul.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

I think it's very important to realize that each of us wants what is best for our children.  We each know our own child and that child's history the best.  We need to give each other the benefit of the doubt that we've done our research.  We've thought long and hard about each decision we make for our children.  We need to support each other from that place.

I also want to remind everyone of the forum guidelines:

 
There are many different theories behind possible "causes" for certain conditions. Mothering is not going to support one theory over another and debate on such issues will not be hosted in the SN forum. MDC will also not host debate regarding different treatments and supplements.

 and

 

Parenting the special needs child comes with many rewards and challenges that are unique to each family. This forum is a place to discuss these issues with like-minded members. The forum is open to all members and we encourage everyone to share and join in the discussions. Though in doing so, please be respectful of the forums purpose and the feelings of all our members.

Please join us in supporting parents of special needs children as they work together to deal with everyday issues and parenting while practicing Natural Family Living. And as always, please make sure your posting is in accordance with the MDC User Agreement. 

 Please be gentle with each other. 

[~cassie]

Originally Posted by fairejour 

And since you don't know my family's story, I will tell you. Her hearing was broken. She was born hearing and then lost it because of a horrible mistake by a doctor. She had something, and it was taken away from her.

I also have no problem with parents of children who are profoundly deaf from birth implanting their children. They are giving their children options. They are giing them the option to hear, or to not. If you do not implant, the child does not have that option. It has been taken from them. They can never access speech through listening. If they get implanted as an adult, that still will not happen. So, either way, the parent makes the decision. Choosing to wait is simple choosing no.

I find it offensive that people think they have the right to judge. Just as I would die defending a parent who implanted their child, I would die defending your right NOT to implant. How dare ANYONE think they have the right to choose ANYTHING for my child! I am her mother, I am her advocate, I know her heart and soul.

 I fully agree with this.  And I'm the parent that has a child born completely deaf(due to a genetic cause) and ran straight to an implant to "fix" him.  I fully admit to being scared to death of having a deaf child, it is scary when your child is different that what you expected, what you have been around.  I wanted my child to have the opportunity to hear the birds, to hear me call his name when he was potentially in a dangerous situation, to hear his children laughing, for me to be able to hear his beautiful voice talking.  I think we all just come from different places-I am fully immersed in a hearing world, while others are in the deaf world.  Neither is right/wrong to want the things that we do for our children.

[2boyzmama]

OP:  I'm glad that the repeat hearing test went well.  It's sometimes hard to get accurate tests from little guys!!  Connor is 3.5 and I still wonder if we're getting fully accurate results, he gives a lot of false positive responses still (they "catch" him responding when they didn't play a tone, he just figures out the game [in his case, throw a ball in a bucket when he hears a tone] and he knows if he hasn't heard one in a few seconds, he throws the ball in)  

It looks like this thread quickly derailed.  I'm aware of the forum guidelines, so will speak carefully.  I do believe it is possible to have a civil/polite debate/discussion about almost any issue.

My son is not medically deaf, but he was culturally Deaf until recently.  Born with moderate-mild-normal reverse sloping conductive hearing loss, his hearing was not a huge hurdle.  But it was his other accompanying medical issues...malformed external and internal ears, a cleft palate that allowed fluid to backflow, a malformed lip, pretty severe oral motor hypotonia, and Apraxia (a neurological condition effecting motor planning that greatly impacts his ability to speak)  He probably had very little hearing his first 15 months due to an undiagnosed systemic haemophilus influenzae infection that eventually required surgery and 4 weeks of IV antibiotics.  In those first 15 months he learned to not "trust" or "use" what little hearing he did have.  So he was behaviorally very much like a deaf child, not responding to environmental noise around him with any kind of consistency.  

We gave him ASL, we all learned it, and he responded to it beautifully.  By age 2 he had age appropriate expressive communication with ASL.  It was a wonderful gift for our family.  He was not a candidate for hearing aids, so we had to "teach" him how to "hear", something that was hard to do with his hearing fluctuating with each ear infection (he averages 6 a year, even after tubes).  

We recently found a perfect hearing solution for him, an iSense Micro, a personal FM system that he wears like a hearing aid, but that transmits speech sounds just above environmental noise, so he is no longer required to try to "filter" out all the noise around him, he can hear speech sounds clearly without exerting the mental energy to do so.  His verbal speech has sky rocketed in the last 3 months, so that now his verbal vocabulary has outgrown his sign vocabulary.  We still use ASL to clarify his speech (his articulation is very poor) and he still has an ASL interpreter at school so he gets everything auditorily and visually.  He is in intensive speech therapy, has been since he was 9 months old.  

I have said before that I didn't care if he ever became verbal, because he did have a language--ASL.  We are active in the deaf community here, so I see first hand how they function in a hearing world.  BUT...I am very happy that he CAN hear.  The hearing world can be a very beautiful place, and I want him to experience that to the greatest extent possible.  For him it was possible to not only hear, but also speak.  So we do all we can to help him with both.  At the same time, we equipped him with ASL to bridge the gap, and we learned of a wonderful "hidden" community and culture around us.  

I don't believe there's a "wrong" approach, I do advocate a balanced approach though.  ASL is a language, and it's a wonderful language for any child, particularly one that is deaf, whether they are deaf all the time, or only without their aids/implants.  I would never advocate withholding that from a deaf child.  But I certainly understand parents who want to do everything they can to give their children the opportunities to experience as few road blocks as possible in this difficult world.  

[DusterGal72]

I have to agree with every other parent on here. You want what is best for your child.

I am severe to profoundly deaf in both ears and have been since I was born. I wear hearing aids in both ears, and benefit greatly from them. I am "oral deaf", and I can understand where most of you are coming from with your opinions about the Deaf community. I have never been treated fairly by them just by the basis that I can talk. I have been automatically labeled as being "hard of hearing" even though my audiogram states otherwise, and subsequently shunned.  

I was taught sign language and given continual speech therapy as a child, and as I got older, I dropped sign language. I was given a choice by my hearing parents to communicate however I saw fit, and it just so happened that I chose to talk.

I married a hearing man, and when I had a baby girl in 2009, she was diagnosed as severely deaf at 5 months old. Knowing the impact this would have on her speech and the developmental delays that would come from it, I rushed to get her aided as fast as possible. She was aided at 6 months old, and has been doing fabulous with them- she never pulls them out or fights with us on them. My husband and I have taken great pains to teach her how to sign and talk at the same time, and I know she will eventually reach the point where she decides on her own whether or not she wants to drop her signs and talk. Or vice versa. Whatever choice she makes is hers. 

We are having a second baby, despite all the doctors and outside "naysayers" trying to discourage me from it. Why should being deaf or having a deaf child prevent anyone from being happy and living their life? Yes, my odds of having another deaf child are 50/50, but I never felt that being deaf was something to be ashamed about, or to hide-- and certainly not a reason to stop having children if you were planning on having 2 or 3 anyway! You are who you are, and regardless of any kind of disability, you make the best of what you have.

To every parent on here, I can understand what you are going through, and I just wanted to give you some reassurance. Whatever decisions you make on behalf of your child is your choice, and you shouldn't have to defend yourself. If your child is happy and doing well, then what difference does it make what anyone else says?

All the best to every single one of you.

[journeywooz]

Thank you for the link, QueenoftheMeadow.  My dear friend who is also deaf worked on the capitol hill last year with the disability department and got invited to a convention for autism and she told me about how they labeled themselves as "neurologically diverse."  I've also worked with deaf and autistic children--while most people look at them as difficulties--all they really need is different and creative approach, nurturing, and gentle understanding.

I have friends all in different degrees of hearing, oral,  and some decided to get cochlear implants later in life after lots of research.  I have no problem with that when it comes to personal decisions.  But when it affects our children,we do what we think is right for them.  While I understand that the interventions most of you are talking about are highly personal and I shouldn't have breached the subject... but look at this.

How would you feel if you were deaf, coming across a discussion board saying that a part of your child was "broken"... "not normal!!"..and most of all that we might "need serious intervention"?  To imply that we have lost something, that we're impaired of something.. It's almost like implying that we're sub-human, lesser than whole.  I'm tired of medicine and science trying to twiddle around and cure something that doesn't need curing, but acceptance.

The way I see it, everyone has a disability of some kind, all to different degrees.  Yet, every single one of us is whole no matter what seems to be lacking or lost.

Fairejour, I see your situation and feel bad that the doctor made a horrible mistake and am glad that your child is well.  I strongly believe that fate is bigger than us, and there are reasons for everything.  And I really do mean that in the best way possible.

[SpottedFoxx]

While this thread has become quite heated, I do want to say I have learned a great deal from both sides of the issue and wanted to say thank you. 

Before we knew our son had challenges, we decided to teach him ASL because we knew that children could learn ASL and communicate much earlier than using the spoken word.  My son's hearing is fine but we still utilize the signing because he has an auditory processing disorder and it seems like the signs keep him focused.  I also love the fact that he can sign because there is a child in his class who is deaf so now he is able to communicate with his friend.  I personally think ASL should be taught right along with Spanish in all classrooms.  Just my 2 cents.

[Serenity Now]

I don't have a child with any type of hearing loss, so I won't comment on that.

My son had a severe speech delay, and he had the hearing test in the booth. He failed it spectacularly. He didn't respond to a single sound. The audiologist was a bit stumped; she said her gut was telling her he could hear just fine. But, based on the test they were recommending follow up, and told us that he could have a rare form of hearing loss caused by jaundice. I am rh sensitized, and his jaundice was pretty bad. I know ASL, sort of, so I started signing with him. But, 3 months later he didn't learn a single sign, and I was stumped. As it turns out, he has autism. He was so unresponsive to everything that he didn't respond to the test. We did another test in a booth, and this time he responded, but only by turning left. We opted not to sedate him, because it seems pretty obvious to everyone that his hearing is working just fine, and his odd responses to the test were because of the autism. He eventually learned to speak. He has issues with articulation, I think because he has oral sensory issues.

I just wanted to share our story.

[DusterGal72]

 

How would you feel if you were deaf, coming across a discussion board saying that a part of your child was "broken"... "not normal!!"..and most of all that we might "need serious intervention"?  To imply that we have lost something, that we're impaired of something.. It's almost like implying that we're sub-human, lesser than whole.  I'm tired of medicine and science trying to twiddle around and cure something that doesn't need curing, but acceptance.

The way I see it, everyone has a disability of some kind, all to different degrees.  Yet, every single one of us is whole no matter what seems to be lacking or lost.

I wholeheartedly agree with your statements here, journeywooz. Everyone has a disability of some degree, inside or out. I find that what you "lack" in one area, you more than make up for in another! Things have a way of balancing themselves out in the end.

[2boyzmama]

Originally Posted by journeywooz 

How would you feel if you were deaf, coming across a discussion board saying that a part of your child was "broken"... "not normal!!"..and most of all that we might "need serious intervention"?  To imply that we have lost something, that we're impaired of something.. It's almost like implying that we're sub-human, lesser than whole.  I'm tired of medicine and science trying to twiddle around and cure something that doesn't need curing, but acceptance.

The way I see it, everyone has a disability of some kind, all to different degrees.  Yet, every single one of us is whole no matter what seems to be lacking or lost.

But here's the thing...my child is NOT normal.  There is no other way to say it.  I don't care if you prefer a PC term like "special" or "unique" or "diverse" or whatever you want.  But my child, is quite obviously ABnormal.  Now, I'm not referring to neurodiversity due to Autism, perhaps there is something to that, I fully agree that some people with Autism are not necessarily abnormal, but perhaps just "different", and in some ways, even better (my brother with Aspergers is quite brilliant, with his own little quirks that he has learned to work with)  BUT...in the case of a genetic or physical defect that effects a person's ability to utilize one of their senses...yes that's abnormal.  

Does it mean he's "broken"?  I don't know, but it does mean that I have to do a lot more to help him function in society.  It's up to me to pick which to focus on...do I push intensive oral therapy, or do I introduce ASL, or some combination of both?  But either way, it IS intensive/serious intervention.  And while I'm perfectly OKAY with doing that (from a emotional standpoint) it is very difficult logistically, financially, and just purely from an energy stand point.  Connor exhausts me.  In so many ways.  And in ways that his genetically "normal" brothers don't.  I still love him, to the great depths of my heart, I have gone to the end of the Earth for him it seems, and I will continue to do so.  But he is, and unfortunately always will be, abnormal.  

I have every reason to believe that--thanks to the intensive interventions we've done with him in these early years--he will grow up to be a fully functional member of society.  And hopefully he will continue to utilize ASL and he will be welcome in the Deaf community.  Our whole family has learned a whole new level of acceptance and gained an understanding of the Deaf culture we wouldn't have otherwise known.  But I am very grateful that it looks like he will be able to hear and speak almost normally.  That will make his life much much easier.  If it turned out he couldn't hear or speak normally, we were prepared for that.  Which is why we chose a combined approach of speech therapy and ASL.  It's not that I'd love him any less if he didn't learn to speak, but I'm glad for him that it looks like the intensive therapy is working.  

Originally Posted by DusterGal72 

 

How would you feel if you were deaf, coming across a discussion board saying that a part of your child was "broken"... "not normal!!"..and most of all that we might "need serious intervention"?  To imply that we have lost something, that we're impaired of something.. It's almost like implying that we're sub-human, lesser than whole.  I'm tired of medicine and science trying to twiddle around and cure something that doesn't need curing, but acceptance.

The way I see it, everyone has a disability of some kind, all to different degrees.  Yet, every single one of us is whole no matter what seems to be lacking or lost.

I wholeheartedly agree with your statements here, journeywooz. Everyone has a disability of some degree, inside or out. I find that what you "lack" in one area, you more than make up for in another! Things have a way of balancing themselves out in the end.

This is a wonderfully cheery way to look at things, but it's also patronizing to those of us struggling with severe disabilities in ourselves or our children.  

My oldest has Celiac Disease and Sensory Processing Disorder.  We have learned how to manage both, and he's just fine.  His sensory seeking has influenced his personality in a wonderful way, in fact, and has become a strength of his.  It also makes life extremely difficult for him at times, and before we understood what was going on, life simply sucked with him.  It was horrible, the tantrums, the outbursts, etc.  We figured out what was "wrong" and we gave him the therapy and adaptations he needed.  It was very difficult for all of us, and I'm very glad that my other two children don't show signs of SPD.  

But Connor?  He has multi-system defects that won't ever go away.  Just how exactly does his pulmonary defect balance out?  Or his Apraxia (neurological disorder effecting motor planning, specifically speech in his case)?  His articulation is very poor, many people can't understand him...how does that balance out?  Perhaps, if you approach it purely from a perspective of senses (vision, hearing, touch, smell, and taste) then there may be some validity to your statement.  Lose your sense of vision and perhaps you learn to use your hearing, smell, etc more effectively.  But that is almost like an attempt to minimize the struggles that blind person faces.  

I have experienced first hand that deaf adults are not lacking in any way, they learn to function quite well, adapt to a hearing world in their own way.  But they struggle much more than the average person to do every day things.  I'm not saying let's run out and implant every deaf person tomorrow, and certainly I'm not saying that deaf adults should not reproduce due to the risk of birthing deaf children.  But I am saying that it is a struggle that should be recognized as such, not placated.  Understanding and acceptance should be paramount of course...and that includes understanding and acceptance of the family's choice of approaches in managing their child's disability.  

[hdirks]

While I don't really want to get into the heated discussion, it is frustrating to read. My daughter is profoundly deaf with bilateral CI's. She also has MANY other issues including global delays. So while we are learning sign language and trying to teach it to her, she is 19 months and is still unable to sign one word. So for us, the CI's were the right decision. I have no problem with her being deaf, with that being said I am doing everything in my power to make her life eaiser as I know it will be a difficult road for her. She also has vision issues and cannot see normally either. We got her glasses for that. I understand the deaf community perspective and recognize the feelings coming from that side, however, you do not see the blind community imposing their opinions on parents who give their children glasses in order to see better. There is nothing wrong with being deaf or blind or having any disability. However, there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with parents trying to make their children's lives easier and it is very frustrating to me when people give their opinions on other people's parenting decisions when they do not even know the whole story. Frankly it is up to the family of that child and the child themselves to make their decisions and people should not impose their opinions. I am very greatful to be part of our deaf community in our area and I love using ASL. I would never take that away from my daughter as she will need both. I just think everyone has their own opinions and each situation is different so we should not judge people unfairly.

[pregnant@40]

This may have nothing to do w/ your situation, but our son had moderate hearing loss due to fluid in the inner ear. His tympanic membranes were not moving due to the fluid build-up. His auditory nerve was intact. Once the fluid was drained via ear tubes, and along w/ an additional tonsillectomy, his speech issues (delay & stuttering) were fixed.

[DusterGal72]

Originally Posted by DusterGal72 

 

How would you feel if you were deaf, coming across a discussion board saying that a part of your child was "broken"... "not normal!!"..and most of all that we might "need serious intervention"?  To imply that we have lost something, that we're impaired of something.. It's almost like implying that we're sub-human, lesser than whole.  I'm tired of medicine and science trying to twiddle around and cure something that doesn't need curing, but acceptance.

The way I see it, everyone has a disability of some kind, all to different degrees.  Yet, every single one of us is whole no matter what seems to be lacking or lost.

I wholeheartedly agree with your statements here, journeywooz. Everyone has a disability of some degree, inside or out. I find that what you "lack" in one area, you more than make up for in another! Things have a way of balancing themselves out in the end.

This is a wonderfully cheery way to look at things, but it's also patronizing to those of us struggling with severe disabilities in ourselves or our children.  

If you had bothered to read my earlier entry before this one,  you would have learned that I myself am deaf and so is my 17 month old daughter. We've taken great pains to teach her sign language and how to talk as well. I am not attempting to be patronizing, because I deal with it firsthand myself. You deal with the hand you have been dealt and that's all you can do. It helps to think "cheery" because if you let the world beat you down, you end up being resentful and bitter. What kind of role model would I be if I allowed my daughter to think that having a disability is something to be ashamed of?

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

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