3.5yo pooping pants...help!!

[Oliver'sMom]

Since ds2 was born 11 weeks ago, ds1 has been consistently pooping his pants. He has pooped every single day in his pants for the past 4 weeks. In the last 48 hours he's pooped his pants 5 times. He isn't sick/doesn't have diarrhea etc. He's just not using the toilet.

We did EC with ds1 and before this he literally hadn't pooped anywhere but the toilet since he was 6 months old (other than times when he was sick)...so this has been extremely difficult.

When he has an accident we don't make a big deal at all. We simply say "oh you had an accident, let's get you cleaned up." We put ds1 in the shower, clean him up and change his clothes. If we're out and about, we go directly home and clean him up. He screams when we have to go home and he screams while we're cleaning him up. This is getting very very frustrating and seems to just be getting worse. It takes everything in me to not loose my temper when it happens.

Is this just attention seeking behavior....just a phase that will pass? We give him as much positive attention and one on one time as we can. We really don't give him much attention at all for pooping his pants other than what I described above.

Should I go back in EC mode and just take him to the bathroom at every cue again? Ds1 has been saying he doesn't have to go whenever I ask him and screams when I insist that he goes. Should I put him in a diaper? I would hate to have to do that.

I'm at a complete loss here. It's really exhausting having to give him 2-3 showers a day. I don't know how to approach this anymore and I'm honestly burned out. We had a really fun day planned today but after being out for only an hour ds1 had an accident and we had to come home. It took us over 2 hours to get out of the house!

I insist that ds1 goes to the bathroom before we go out. He'll go to the toilet, pee, then soon after poops his pants. I've had him sit and sit to make sure he doesn't need to poop...he always says he doesn't. So frustrating!!!

What do I do??!!

Thanks in advance, and sorry for the ramble/vent

[momto4plus4]

No good advice. DD1 did this after DS1 was born. I tried being gentle and positive with her until 1 day I walked in the bathroom (we don't EC) and she had taken off her poopy pullup, tried dumping the poo in the toilet and cleaning herself up. Needlesstosay-Poop EVERYWHERE. I threw a tantrum, put her back in panties and, not quietly, told her she was done, I was done and that she was going to use the potty from then on. Surprisingly, not one more poo accident EVER. She's now 9 and none the worse.

Know that you're not alone in this kind of struggle. It's hard, especially when you're trying so hard to do what's best for them and nothing is working.

[Oliver'sMom]

thanks for the reply.

yes, we've had a few poop EVERYWHERE situations...one of which I walked in and saw ds1 wiping his poop covered hands on my new towels and the dog eating the poop off of the floor. I screamed at the dog just because I was so disgusted, then the dog peed everywhere from being startled (he's totally neurotic)

I had to laugh at that one it was just so ridiculous

[momto4plus4]

Originally Posted by Oliver'sMom

thanks for the reply.

yes, we've had a few poop EVERYWHERE situations...one of which I walked in and saw ds1 wiping his poop covered hands on my new towels and the dog eating the poop off of the floor. I screamed at the dog just because I was so disgusted, then the dog peed everywhere from being startled (he's totally neurotic)

I had to laugh at that one it was just so ridiculous

Oh you just MADE MY NIGHT! I laughed until I had tears and had to read this to my mom! It's one of those stories that's so disgusting you can't help but laugh.