I'm in the midst of this now. So, I feel you on the living hell. It really is, and I had it the first time around with my son (now 2 YO) and thought that I could 'prevent' it, and NO, sadly, I couldn't, so that makes me feel like even more of a failure. I'm going to see a therapist Monday. I called today and it wasn't but 5 seconds into the call and I was crying. My husband and I got into it pretty heavily last night, from 10-2 we were basically yelling at each other the whole time.
I get the suicidal thoughts, I get the mental images of terrorizing the house, breaking everything in site, and the images of even hurting others. I don't think Hell really descibes it to be honest.
With my last I was on Prozac for 6 months, but for me, it made me numb to everything. I never felt bad, but I never felt good either. So, I, personally, feel like I missed a whole 6 months of his life. This time, I don't want to do it again because I'd be missing her life and his.
I really want to avoid meds. I should be doing the Fish oil, the Niacin (which is the B vit that is studied for depression), I've also heard of rescue remedy, I use a spray that I should use more often, they also have it in a ticture, and tablet-candy-like form. Also, St. John's wort. My husband battled with depression/anxiety pretty bad, and coming off his meds was pretty hard on him and we learned a lot. I just can't seem to get up the strength I guess to actually start them. I think I'm still slightly in denial that it's happening to me....again.
I think for some, prescription meds are a good idea, I do think they are over prescribed, and I think a lot of women on them could go the natural route and be fine, not ALL, but a lot. You may be one of the moms who really needs the meds, or one of the moms who can make it without. I don't even know which one I am.
Much love to you. Oh, I'm 7 weeks out too, so the new baby thing is going on here to. I feel like I've just ranted on my own case, on your thread, I'm sorry, but I hope you found some usefulness out of it.