Anxiety,depression, panic....

[goodygumdrops]

I just need to get this off my chest. I have to find a therapist because I know I need someone to talk to but I just need to put this out there so I can stop worrying about.

So, I have issues with anxiety/depression. I never had any major issues until I had my son. When he was 18 months I had a panic attack that took a bit of time to get under control and I think I had ptsd from that experience. Or maybe I do have ptsd. Anyways, I was on meds for a while and my marriage fell apart. I was living alone with my son and my h decided to join the military. We were separated for about 2 years. Well, I have been working on school and was basically taking care of my son and I decided to move to my h duty station. We didn't necessarily decide to reconcile though. It was more for convenience and finances. However, we now live together again and it's been about two months.

So, since we've been here things have been fine. Our relationship has been great but we aren't "together". I have actually brought up our relationship talk a couple of times and he doesn't want to bother so I decided to date. I know it's unconventional but we were separated for two years so I figure screw it. I've gone out a couple of times with these sweet guy but I'm just not feeling 100% mentally so it's hard for me to even think positive about it, iykwim.

So, basically I had a panic attack about a week ago. I posted about it here and I was chatting a bit with another mdc mom.. But I guess whats bothering me is that I loath feeling so out of control of my mind and body. It really makes me fearful and I feel oppressed by these feelings. I have a hard time letting go and I just feel so screwed up emotionally. This time and last time, I swear I was so freaked out that I was loosing it...I asked my therapist and they said that everyone with anxiety feels that way but it doesn't make it go away. I worry that I will be unable to take care of my son. I worry that I am incapable of finding love. I worry...blah, blah, blah. I guess I am just in a depression/anxiety phase right now and I have a hard just dealing. I have unreasonable fears...seriously, about the most stupid stuff. Anyway, I feel embarrassed to put this here but I also just need to face these fears because I know running from them or ignoring them is not going to help.

I feel like I need a big cry but I can't even let myself let go.

[goodygumdrops]

It's funny because last night after I wrote this, I decided to read my anxiety/phobia workbook again. Right in the first chapter the book explains how people with panic disorder and anxiety feel like they are loosing control. I know this with my rational mind but I my irrationally self/fearful self just takes over sometimes. Anyway, today was a bit better...I guess I really do need to get things of my chest sometimes.

[mich]

Hugs mama. I am struggling with a lot of anxiety lately. I feel broken and un-fixable. I wish I knew why it flairs up sometimes, and other times it's manageable. I figure it's time to do some research and make some changes.

[Juvysen]

I don't know if you'd be interested or not, but I started taking a homeopathic (arsenicum album) to help with my anxiety. I'd say it doesn't totally take it away but if I'm starting to feel anxious and I take it, I usually can pull myself out of it easier. I love homeopathics b/c they have no side effects, though it's controversial because they're so diluted they may just be a placebo.

Honestly, I'm all for a placebo if it helps

Anyway, thought I'd throw that in there.

[journeymom]

I asked my therapist and they said that everyone with anxiety feels that way, but it doesn't make it go away.

Seriously?? That's what your therapist said, 'everyone with anxiety feels that way'? How monumentally unhelpful. I mean, yes, it's helpful to get educated about what you're experiencing. But you need some concrete relief.

Goodygumdrops, do you have a primary care physician? The kind of panicked anxiety you're experiencing needs some medical help. Perhaps an antidepressant and/or a mood stabilizer to break the feed-back loop.

I've been there and in my experience the journaling and talk therapy were not effective until after I got the anxiety and depression under control with medication. I wish I hadn't put off seeking medical help for so long.

Honestly, I'm all for a placebo if it helps

Me too. That's what I decided about Bach's Rescue Remedy.

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by journeymom

Me too. That's what I decided about Bach's Rescue Remedy.

Yeah, me too. I have no proof, but I feel like it works. Close enough, for me.

[goodygumdrops]

Thanks for the replies. Yes, I am taking meds. Actually, what happened was that I have been feeling better for a while now and I thought I might be able to cut down my med doses. So, I just moved 2 months ago across country to live with my ex and I had finally made an appointment to see psychnp. Anyways, we adjusted meds and within two weeks, I had a panic attack. Now, let me tell you, all the drs have told me to wait till I was in a better place with my schooling, divorce etc...but of course, I think I'm made of stone. So, needless to say, we have upped the meds again. I am currently a full time plus student with a four year old and my body just can't take it. I guess that's why I'm having the panic attacks.

I would like to try some less pharm methods to deal with it so maybe I'll get some rescue remedy and the homepathic remedy. Does anyone know a good one to try?

[Juvysen]

I posted what I use, but it's "arsenicum album" I got it at our natural foods store.

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by goodygumdrops

It's funny because last night after I wrote this, I decided to read my anxiety/phobia workbook again. Right in the first chapter the book explains how people with panic disorder and anxiety feel like they are loosing control. I know this with my rational mind but I my irrationally self/fearful self just takes over sometimes. Anyway, today was a bit better...I guess I really do need to get things of my chest sometimes.

It's good that you read your anxiety/phobia workbook again - that's a coping skill! When you're going through it, sometimes it feels like it's never going to end. Or when you have a panic attack, the memory of it can be very upsetting. My doctor told me to just keep reminding myself that this is a symptom of the panic/anxiety, it is NOT going to last forever, I am not a bad person, this will go away. It used to really bug me when I had a regression but over time I could really appreciate that there is no progress without regression.... regression is what tells you that you have been moving forward, kwim? You have moved forward in the past, and you will move forward again.

I hope you feel better after you adjust to moving your meds back up.

Some people take a lot of fish oils, b vitamins for stress, and supplements from the Mood Cure by Dr. Julia Ross.

[just__angel]

Valarian root or skullcap work for me.
My shrink also said my new rule was that I had to schedule 30 minutes a day, every day where I just sit and worry. Thats the only time Im allowed to worry.
If I start, I tell myself I have to wait until 3pm.
Sounds funny, but when Im sitting there bringing up all my worry issues I realize none of those worries are worth even 30 minutes of my time

Yoga and meditation might be a great help for you too.

[abbylotus]

I, too, suffer from extreme anxiety. I am finally finding some relief by being on two different anti-depressants. When I started school this fall I was having panic attacks almost every other day but now I haven't had one in about two weeks. I tried homeopathic stuff but didn't get the relief I needed. Best wishes, Mama!

[mich]

Abbylotus, that sounds terrible, glad to hear you are feeling better. I have had two panic attacks and they were horrible. I can't imagine suffering from them as much as you have.

Goodygumdrops, how are you doing?

I love Arsenicum Album, I have a bottle of the Hyland's brand next to my bed. I have been using it a lot the last few weeks. For me it works great at bed time if I find myself lying there worrying and unable to fall asleep.

Well two weeks ago I was feeling completely useless and depressed and anxious. I forced myself to take my supplements and after a week I felt better. Now almost two weeks later I feel much better. I do not suffer from severe depression or anxiety. So I know this will not work for everyone. But I have suffered from mild to moderate depression/anxiety all my life. Passed down to me from my mother and grandmother.

I have followed this cycle over and over again for years and years. Why can't I realize that I need to keep taking them? Why do we stop after we feel better for a while and then repeat the whole horrid cycle over again? I know I'm not the only one who does this. Why?

[NaturalRemediesHQ]

@Just_Antgel - I second your natural protocol! I found that going natural is the only way - sometimes it takes a bit more time to results but I'm not willing to go the traditional 'anti anxiety or anti depressent' route due to all the nasty side effects of putting that stuff in our bodies....

I'm pretty passionate on the topic of curing Anxiety naturally. I just wrote a mini eBook on the topic and posted it on my blog if anyone wants to download it : http://www.naturalremedieshq.com.

I'm curious about any other natural remedies any of you have tried - I like to keep a full arsenal handy!

Thanks again!

Stacey*

[AZHealthMom]

Niacin.  Not Niacinamide.  Not buffered (that's hard on the liver).  We get a brand that is "No-Flush" with Inositol.  It is inexpensive, as harmless as water, taken with meals-- the body uses what it needs to fill receptor sites in the nervous system, uses it to repair. Directions say to take it with the largest meal of the day, that is important.

Edited by AZHealthMom - 11/29/10 at 8:40pm

[goodygumdrops]

Well, I was feeling a bit better and then I had another panic attack last night.  I should post during the in between episodes instead of the right after episode phase.  Anyways, I totally know what caused it.  I am at the end of my semester and I'm have so much do in class tomorrow it's making me worry.  I also decided to overextend myself by hosting a dinner party.  So, needless to say, I did too much and then ended up having a panic attack last night.  Basically, It last the whole night and finally ended up sleeping and then when I woke up I was sick with vomiting and diarhea.  Anyone else have stomach issues when they have panic attacks?

[AZHealthMom]

Ever try magnesium?  Most people are supposedly very low on it, especially when under stress!  We like Natural Calm, which fizzes up in hot water, a nice before-bedtime beverage available at most health food stores. We increased gradually, starting with a half teasp., now at a heaping teasp in a.m. & p.m.

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by goodygumdrops 

Well, I was feeling a bit better and then I had another panic attack last night.  I should post during the in between episodes instead of the right after episode phase.  Anyways, I totally know what caused it.  I am at the end of my semester and I'm have so much do in class tomorrow it's making me worry.  I also decided to overextend myself by hosting a dinner party.  So, needless to say, I did too much and then ended up having a panic attack last night.  Basically, It last the whole night and finally ended up sleeping and then when I woke up I was sick with vomiting and diarhea.  Anyone else have stomach issues when they have panic attacks?

Yes, I often get stomach distress with panic attacks. Sometimes it's a chicken-egg thing... they both seem really inter-related.

I hope you are feeling better.
 

[goodygumdrops]

Thanks for the tips.  I'll have to get some magnesium...

WARNING TMI.....

Well, I went to the doc today and she felt that I had likely gotten acid reflux from drinking heavily and that I was experiencing nausea from this.  I just don't get how this can be from a week later though.  Tonight, I ate a half a small slice of pepperoni pizza and a bit of cake.  Two hours later I was so sick, I ended up vomiting and having diarrhea.  I go see my psych doc tomorrow thankfully, just in case this is a med issue but jeez.