Do you "out" yourself?

[MyFullHouse]

I don't really consider myself "anti-vax", but the fact is, there's been exactly 1 shot given in my family (4 kids) in the past 6 or 7 years. We're having another baby in December, and we probably won't be vaccinating him for a while, if ever.

We belong to a decent sized, relatively mainstream homeschool group where personal philosophies (outside of hs'ing) aren't really discussed very often, and I like it that way! Once in a while, the topic of flu vaccines and things like that do come up, and there isn't much judgment in those conversations, I guess since that's a "normal" controversy.

One mother had a new baby last year, and he was passed around constantly. Which is fine. Everyone loves their baby-fixes.
But now I'm worried that the same thing will be expected with MY baby, and I feel I have to choose between coming off as the crazy, untrusting mother, or out myself as a non-vaxer, what with all of the winter germs and viruses. Neither scenario excites me.

I do use a sling often, so that may be my saving grace until Spring, but I'd really love to hear some personal experiences from others who have faced similar conundrums.

[kindchen]

You don't have to pass your baby around, of course. What does that have to do with vaccinations? Parents have different levels of comfort when it comes to passing the baby, and that is fine. Just don't hand the baby off. No vax discussion needed, even if that is your reason. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

I do "out" myself if I know the person reasonably well and they are going on about the irresponsibility of not vaxing. I just say that I disagree and we don't vax. I would rather deal with that moment of awkwardness than create a weird situation if they found out later that we don't vax. Otherwise, I don't bring it up. I certainly wouldn't give that as a reason for not passing my baby around.

[heathergirl67]

A lot of people who fully vax don't like passing their newbs around either. There's a lot of diseases that one doesn't vax for, so I don't think anyone would be suspicious of you. If someone asks, you could just say, "It's winter, everyone has a cold, we'd rather just wait a few months." Or something like that.

[ema-adama]

I also will have an newborn in December. I will be keeping the babe close and not passing him/her around. Not because I don't vaccinate, but because, as others have pointed out, there are plenty of germs out there for which there is no vaccine. And IMO newborns are best off close to mum and not being passed around. Vaccines do not need to come up in the conversation.

If someone did say: but your child is vaccinated, so why are you worrying? you can just say that there are lots of diseases for which there are no vaccines and leave it at that. I doubt anyone would push a mum who says she would prefer people don't handle her newborn.

[FernG]

There is no vaccine for RSV (the RSV shot is an immunoglobulin for premies). Just say it scares you since it's such a common cold virus but can be serious in newborns. I don't pass my newborns around either and I've never had to give a reason.

[nicky85]

I don't out myself either, especially because my son has special needs. When he was discharged from the NICU, though, we were actually instructed not to have him handled a lot or taken to any really crowded places because of RSV (this was in February.) I agree with FernG- it's a legit excuse.

[SwanMom]

Also, even vaccinated babies don't get a vaccine (except for Hep B) until they're 2 months old.

[Arduinna]

I don't generally out myself, I've only discussed it with my BFF. I tend toward the if you are sick stay home but other than that I'm not worrying about it camp.

[Emmeline II]

I don't see what this has to do with vax. There is no vax for the common cold but you don't want your newborn to have that either. If all else fails, blame your doctor, "his doctor said not to let others hold him to minimize his exposure to illness."

[caned & able]

I never tell anyone my beliefs regarding vaccinations or anything else. Truth to be told, it is no one's business.

However, I have been pleasantly surprised by some people who are questioning the necessity and safety of vaccines and I approach the controversy carefully and with respect.