Quick Question - RE: Filing for Sole Custody without an atty

[mommy_to_2angels]

I am thinking that because there is no way I can afford an attorney with what I make, that I may have to file for custody on my own. I live in Sarasota County Florida and have no idea how to go about this. I've downloaded a bunch of forms that the Petition for change in Custody/Parenting Plan said I needed. But....any advice or help would be appreciated.

I did speak with an attorney and she said that because his attorney was lazy and didn't actually file the parenting plan with the courts, just with the child support enforcement office that the 50/50 custody would not uphold. And since he has a broken car and nowhere for the kids to sleep, that I would have a great chance at the hearing...

So thoughts, advice and anything else is much appreciated! Thanks!!

[single_cj]

No help here, I just wanted to wish you good luck!!

[LoveOhm]

I filed for sole custody on my own and won, so it is possible. You will need to either utilize the resources of a "self - represented resource center" which they have in most counties in my state or the knowledge of a good paralegal/attorney to guide you toward exactly which forms need to be filed and to review them.

But honestly if he has an attorney I would want one too! It just evens the playing field a bit. You can file your petition and also request that he pay attorney fees for when you actually do go to court.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Yeah, I would try for at least legal aid, or try to find an attorney who will work for little money or do a payment plan.

Even if his attorney didn't file the papers, he will know his way around the courtroom MUCH better than you. I would get a lawyer.

I know it can be done without a lawyer, but its lots of work, and on top of taking care of kiddos, it would have been too much for me. (and my lawyer was worth every.single.penny that I paid her)

[mommy_to_2angels]

Unfortunately Legal Aid told me that they help with Child Support but not with custody. I did try as many attorneys as I could but they won't do Pro Bono, and I can't even afford the down payment of $500 at the moment. My family isn't able to help out either. That's why I have decided to try on my own.

I'm gonna try to see what I can manage to get money assembled. I just don't know. Lawyers are just so expensive.

[One_Girl]

Can you put the stuff together and have an attorney just look over it? The university I attended had an attorney for students to use and I did that when I was first considering divorce. She was able to tell me how to reword things. I didn't go with divorce then so I had to call around again when I was actually ready. Most attorneys want a down payment to do the divorce, but I was able to get a few who would give me just an hour to look over the stuff and give me advice about rewording by telling them upfront that I wanted to file on my own but I also wanted to make sure I had the language right in the papers. That wasn't the option I ultimately chose because my grandma sent me money for a really good attorney so I wouldn't have what happened to my uncle happen to me.

[mommy_to_2angels]

Hmmm... I can try that. I mean, I want to make sure that I get them. With him being virtually homeless, carless and all that, I don't really have anything to worry about. Which is why I intend to do it now... But I do intend to get everything together and talk to the clerk at the courthouse. This way I make sure I have all the paperwork I need. They can't advise on how to file, but they can tell me what I need to do it at least.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by mommy_to_2angels

Hmmm... I can try that. I mean, I want to make sure that I get them. With him being virtually homeless, carless and all that, I don't really have anything to worry about. Which is why I intend to do it now... But I do intend to get everything together and talk to the clerk at the courthouse. This way I make sure I have all the paperwork I need. They can't advise on how to file, but they can tell me what I need to do it at least.

DO NOT go to court with this attitude. You have NO IDEA what he is doing without your knowledge. I say this b/c I found a home to move into, got my finances in order, got my son enrolled in daycare, and SIGNED A LEASE in 3 the weeks I had between my ex filing and our first court date. And he had NO CLUE. He was completely blindsided by it. You have no clue what your ex is up to, or what he's keeping from you.

ETA - I think it is really smart to do it quickly, but my ex was truly blindsided by what happened on our first court date. He had no clue what was coming, and it ruined his chances of custody FAST. At the time I was living in our old shared apartment, but he had gone to stay with family/friends until the court date. He was coming by several times per week to see ds, and so he saw me alot - but I was able to keep from him all my plans. Do not let your ex blindside you - Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best.

[mommy_to_2angels]

This is true. I'm grateful for all the advice you girls are giving. I sent an email to the attorney that I spoke with. (She's a single recently divorced mommy too.) Hopefully she and I can work something out.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by mommy_to_2angels

This is true. I'm grateful for all the advice you girls are giving. I sent an email to the attorney that I spoke with. (She's a single recently divorced mommy too.) Hopefully she and I can work something out.

Thats good - you can also ask her for referrals. Don't be discouraged if she can't work something out with you - she's a recently divorced single mama who might be tight on cash.

[mommy_to_2angels]

Not only that, but his attorney? She and all of her partners split off from that one's office in May. Fortunately for me, he didn't retain his attorney until June, so it's not a conflict of interest. But apparently they had a problem working for a half-assed attorney.

[Theia]

I've also heard good things about working with paralegals who don't charge nearly as much as attorneys. They are familiar with the forms and many other aspects of court. They can't give legal advice, but at the very least you would be well equipped should you have to go into court with out an attorney. Hopefully it won't come to that and you will be able to work something out with the attorney you mentioned upthread.

And I agree, don't assume that you know what he is or isn't doing about his personal situation.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by mommy_to_2angels

Not only that, but his attorney? She and all of her partners split off from that one's office in May. Fortunately for me, he didn't retain his attorney until June, so it's not a conflict of interest. But apparently they had a problem working for a half-assed attorney.

Again, it doesn't matter what the other attorneys thought of him - it matters what the judge thinks of him. How long has this guy been practicing? What is his particular area of expertise? What is his win/lose record? What cases does he normally win? Is he truly a bad lawyer, or is he just very laid back about certain things? Is he appearing lazy as a strategy?

There are a MILLION different answers - and I personally wouldn't trust a former co-worker of his to accurately represent him. I also wouldn't trust a former co-worker of his to prepare as much as might be necessary since there is a preconceived notion that he's lazy.

Don't forget that you have no clue whats up. Your ex may find a new lawyer after you file and he finds out the first one didn't file the paperwork. You never know. I would ask for some recommendations for people not formerly affiliated with your ex's lawyer. It may not be an actual conflict of interest, but in my book its close enough.

[mommy_to_2angels]

The woman I saw was highly recommended to me by a few people.

His attorney, also a woman, has a very poor reputation in this community and rarely wins cases. She usually represents the men. Not only verbally but online people have stated her level of laziness and what it has cost them.

My ex will not be able to get another attorney, because he has no money, and not much more to sell. His car got broken into twice in the last 4 months. His TV, PS3, IPhone and all the expensive stuff that he would have been able to sell or pawn is gone. And the engagement ring he bought me 4 years ago, well that was sold to retain his current attorney. I know exactly what he makes and what's going on because he is constantly blaming me for what is wrong in his life.

He's not a very smart person, for all of his bragging about being a "NASAR scientist". (Oh yes he does.) But I definitely understand what you are saying.