My middle children fight all the time. It has been horrible and humiliating and tiresome. The older one has autism spectrum disorder, but of the sort where he gets stressed and then meltsdown when stressed or frustrated so things get worse. Both of them, 6 and just turned 9, love to play computer all the time. I limit it until after 6pm, but then it seems as if it goes on until 10pm when I say no way, no more. It had been 6-8 but then things started sliding and pushed until 10. But the 9 yr old meltsdown when he has had too much computer exposure. Both of them get very upset with me when I say no computer. The older one refuses to do anything but throw a huge tantrum if 6pm comes and he has no computer. He refuses to have anything to do with us, dinner, movie, company, anything, if 6pm comes. He will only do computer then.
So both are currently grounded from the computers through the weekend, as in 1 week. This was the 2nd day of the grounding. Once they accepted no computer, they actually started to play together and get along and be kind to each other. This is a change fro the usual. But I do notice they are less intense and less stressed, both of them, when not on the computer. Also, I never even wanted game systems in the house and I only wanted educational games for the PCs. But admittedly, there are not many educational games out there. And my older games were mostly not compatible with a 64 bit system when switched over to Windows Vista 64 and Windows 7. Regardless, once the PC is turned on, that is what we get.
I know they are expecting that at the end of the week, they will simply get their game systems and computers back. I want to put all up, except I would not mind compromising and leaving the Wii. They both seem not too interested in the Wii and with just one system, they will bore quicker of it. Unlike with multiple things around the house where they can just go from system to system. I need to insert here, my childless brother, the "fun uncle," keeps giving my children game systems. At this point, I told him no way, won't happen again. I already warned my brother that if he gives them one for Christmas, which he says he plans to do, the XBOX 360 something, some new system, that he will simply destroy their Christmas because they will see it, but will not even be allowed to bring it home. End of story. He has a habit of claiming to know all about what it is like to be a kid and how much he would have wanted this stuff and how I should just let my children have whatever. But beyond that.....
I am asking, do you think it would be cruel to put up everything, or everything except the Wii, and when the grounding is over just tell them that all they get back is the Wii and we are not getting in to the Playstation 2, or the XBOX (regular, old system), or the PC anymore? I feel bad about taking away something they already had access to. But I also feel that they have really really not handled having computers well and I think it is unhealthy and the fighting and tantrums need to come to an end. How would you handle this? I know, someone will point out that I am to blame for allowing the systems to remain in our home. But I want to fix that. I was actually never comfortable with it anyway, but with being pregnant and then having horrid complications from the birth and so on, I never felt up to the fight. But now I am fighting back to the provider of these systems and want to deal with things in the home too.
Thanks for your help!
So both are currently grounded from the computers through the weekend, as in 1 week. This was the 2nd day of the grounding. Once they accepted no computer, they actually started to play together and get along and be kind to each other. This is a change fro the usual. But I do notice they are less intense and less stressed, both of them, when not on the computer. Also, I never even wanted game systems in the house and I only wanted educational games for the PCs. But admittedly, there are not many educational games out there. And my older games were mostly not compatible with a 64 bit system when switched over to Windows Vista 64 and Windows 7. Regardless, once the PC is turned on, that is what we get.
I know they are expecting that at the end of the week, they will simply get their game systems and computers back. I want to put all up, except I would not mind compromising and leaving the Wii. They both seem not too interested in the Wii and with just one system, they will bore quicker of it. Unlike with multiple things around the house where they can just go from system to system. I need to insert here, my childless brother, the "fun uncle," keeps giving my children game systems. At this point, I told him no way, won't happen again. I already warned my brother that if he gives them one for Christmas, which he says he plans to do, the XBOX 360 something, some new system, that he will simply destroy their Christmas because they will see it, but will not even be allowed to bring it home. End of story. He has a habit of claiming to know all about what it is like to be a kid and how much he would have wanted this stuff and how I should just let my children have whatever. But beyond that.....
I am asking, do you think it would be cruel to put up everything, or everything except the Wii, and when the grounding is over just tell them that all they get back is the Wii and we are not getting in to the Playstation 2, or the XBOX (regular, old system), or the PC anymore? I feel bad about taking away something they already had access to. But I also feel that they have really really not handled having computers well and I think it is unhealthy and the fighting and tantrums need to come to an end. How would you handle this? I know, someone will point out that I am to blame for allowing the systems to remain in our home. But I want to fix that. I was actually never comfortable with it anyway, but with being pregnant and then having horrid complications from the birth and so on, I never felt up to the fight. But now I am fighting back to the provider of these systems and want to deal with things in the home too.
Thanks for your help!
) When we move I am considering ditching the television altogether.
Amen! This will be a great gift that you give your children (even if they don't see it that way at first).
