3 yr old won't sleep more than 3 hours without mommy or daddy... HELP

[*EarthMama*]

Hey Mamas!

I really could use some advice about my 3 yr olds sleep patterns. DS has always been a high-needs sleeper. We have co-slept since infancy and until he was 2 he would only fall asleep while nursing... he self-weened shortly after his second birthday but never stopped waking often through the night. We co-slept up until a few months ago (going to sleep together, sleeping through the night together, and rising together). If he is in bed with us he is fine for the most part, he may wake once or twice but just to scoot closer to dh or I and "cuddle." but now that we have started putting my son to sleep in his own room he is waking constantly! It takes about an hour to get him down and once he's finally down he's usually asleep for anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours... with each waking we go in and lay down with him til he falls back asleep. The problem is the night waking is constant! By 2 or 3am we usually cave and dh either sleeps with him the rest of the night in his bed or will bring him in to our bed to sleep...

So the questions,

Is this normal for a 3 year old?

What could be the possible causes of his frequent night waking?

Is there anything we can do to encourage/ help him to sleep deeper with less waking (that doesn't require us holding him)??

Any advice would be so much appreciated. I love being there for my ds through the night (and so does dh) but we both feel that there must be a way to help ease him in to sleeping for longer periods without us. Suggestions please!! Thanks beautiful ones!!

[mizzoh]

it's possible he was waking just as often while in bed with you, but after he'd wake and see you, he'd just fall back asleep ( so you never knew he was waking). maybe now when he wakes and finds himself alone it upsets him and he isn't able to fall back asleep. i have seen my own ds do this. in bed with us - sleeps all night. in bed alone - he wakes up.

[chrstene]

I could have written this EXACT post when my DD was 3. AND I can still write the same post and she is 4 ! I wish I had the answers...but I really think she is just a high needs sleeper. We have come to terms with that - as much as we can. We try to agree that she will be put to bed in her room. She usually sleeps anywhere from 1 - 3 hrs in there...which is usually the time we are going to bed. So when she gets up, she is in bed with us till morning. In a way, I like the snuggling. In a way, I would like her to stay her in room. But that is who she is. I figure that when she is "ready" she will start spending more and more time in her room. We even offered to buy her a very cool bed that she had REALLLLLLY wanted...but told her that she would have to go back into her bed all night. She actually told us "no, it's ok cause I like snuggling with you, it's so soft" ! It must be pretty important to her if she turned down the cool bed !

We have a younger one who has been sleeping in his own room, through the night since about 14 months....just a different kid. Brought them up the same, nursed, coslept, etc etc etc.....just different needs I guess.

SO, no answers. Just commiserating. and letting you know that you aren't alone.

Hope you find some peace with it.