Natural consequences FAIL. - Page 3

[DevaMajka]

Originally Posted by blizzard_babe

So often I have to literally drag DS out of the fridge and then stand there blocking the door, or stuff like that.

Ds1 did that, but at a younger age (we moved when he was 2yo, and it was at our old house). By that point, though, he had fantastic receptive language, and was pretty good at cooperating and "following rules."

What I finally did that worked:
I had just read about CL, and about TCC so I thought I'd give it a try. I changed my frame of mind to believe that he knew that the fridge door needed to be shut, and that he would shut it when he was done in the fridge. So I let him look in the fridge as long as he wanted to one day. It was really hard for me to let him have the fridge open, but in all honesty, it wasn't that long (I'm thinking 10 minutes or less, IIrc). He must have fulfilled whatever desire/curiosity he had, because the fridge was never the same battle since.

I think having that desire unfullfilled led to it being super important.

Anyway, I'm sure that not everyone would be willing to try this, but I thought I'd share something that worked for us.

[tracysroberts]

Originally Posted by VroomieMama

Thank you.. I'm still learning and trying to understand the difference between the natural and logical consequence.

Question:
My toddlers are fascinated with climbing over the sofa's arm to the recliner but there is a small end table in between and I'm always afraid that they'd fall in between and hurt their head or worse. Or they'd climb on a cooler that I use to store children books (prefer it than using shelves to store books) and the cooler is there to "block" them from playing with electric fire place door on the bottom of the floor. I've always had to put them in the play yard without any toys in it immediately after when I ask them to get off for the 3rd time. Is this one of the logical consequence approach? What would you have done if you're faced in this situation?

Give them things to climb, lots of them! One thing everyone seems to be forgetting in all of these comments is that children have a need underlying their actions ALWAYS. He wants to climb or hammer or whatever, use active listening if you dont immediately know what they want, but then give them what they want in a way that you both feel comfortable while realizing that sometimes as mothers we are gonna be nervous when our children test the limits of their bodies.

[DevaMajka]

Originally Posted by tracysroberts

children have a need underlying their actions ALWAYS. He wants to climb or hammer or whatever, use active listening if you dont immediately know what they want, but then give them what they want in a way that you both feel comfortable

I read about this in Becoming the Parent You Want to Be years ago. They call it honoring the impulse and redirecting in a way that honors the impulse. The impulse behind what they are doing is legitimate, they just need to learn how to fullfill it in a socially acceptable way.

[VroomieMama]

I'm confused. I'm not sure I understand what you're suggesting. Can you please expand more on "active listening" because its the term that I've never seen before.

So, I should just allow my children climb on whatever they want to climb? I'm just scared that they'd end up having their skull open and end up taking them to ER then they end up dead. It feels like they're being neglected if I just let them climb wherever they want to.

I just feel that it makes more sense for them to climb if there are padded areas around the places where they climb but I don't have it. Also, I think it'd also make sense if they climb outside when they are a little bit older and has better concept of what is safe or not.