Which nanny would you take?

[isabella.4567]

We need to choose between 2 applicants:

A very nice 29 year old mother with 2 girls, one is the age of my daughter (4 years), the other one 2 years old.

She would pick my DD up from preschool 2 or 3 times a week on the days I work, then do quiet time at her home with all the kids as we requested, then some outing to the park or farmers market, then cook dinner for us also (we would pay for the groceries needed for our meals) which we would take home when we pick DD up from her house.

I am concerned about those days being a little too much for DD. She is so tired when she gets out of preschool. It also seems she enjoys her time at home (which she would have less of).

BUT this seems very flexible as far as availability goes, it could be very long term and DD could find a BFF in that little 4 year old girl.

The other one is a 20 year old very sweet college student who would do the same but would care for DD in our house one-on-one. Definitely less mature than the mom but does she need to be?

Advantages are:

-I do not need to pick up DD at the end of the day (although the mother agreed to bring her home once a week and she does not live far, although it is out of the way for me) or take her anywhere when there are school breaks and we have the caregiver start in the morning

-Nanny would unload dishwasher, unload dryer and fold laundry (she would also cook – but the mother would do that too) which is quite a bit of help for me

But it might be less long term although she did say she would be around and transfer to a local college next fall.

I don’t know… we are leaning towards taking the mother although it does not make real sense - it is less convenient for me and costs the same money as a nanny that comes to our house. (The mom does however really try to accommodate us in whichever way possible and seems to really want the job)

So who would you take and which scenario is better for 4 year old girl who goes to preschool in the mornings?

[cakemama579]

Well, since you asked for an opinion... I'd say it is all about trust first. And if you trust them both the same, then consider which your daughter might enjoy most. If she has plenty of social interaction at preschool, she might enjoy the quiet one-on-one time of the college student. If she is a real social kid, go for the mother. Either way, it really sounds like two good options. The college student sounds really convenient!

Good luck.

[MamaChicken]

All else being equal, I would choose in-home nanny. I have one and for me, not doing drop-off and pick-up save almost an hour out of my day. My kids are less disturbed by being home and for now that is important. I may choose differently in a few years.

[basje]

If it were me I would choose the stay at home mother. I was a nanny in college (and a pretty good one as far as nannies go) but would be way better now taking care of children after having had one myself. I am much more compassionate, rested, loving and frankly responsible. The experience of motherhood is without a doubt a huge advantage for the caretaker to be able to provide the best possible care, I don't think we should under value it.

That said, if you have a gut feeling go with it.

[RaeDyCo]

I would choose the in home nanny / younger woman.

Does the mother have a back-up plan if her kids are sick? Would you still bring your DD to her house? While I realize the nanny could get sick also, it is more likely that someone will be sick more often in the mother's house (this is a generalization but usually kids and their parents are sicker more frequently than a young woman with no kids).

Personally, I don't think additional socialization would be a consideration, especially if your DD is tired after and likes being at home.

I also like the idea of coming home to a clean house, a DD who is already in her comfort zone (not needing to wind down from the day) and not have to deal with an extra commute (but I live where snow / winter is not fun so hate more driving than necessary).

[rsummer]

I would pick the 29 year old mama... Next semester is only a month away and everything could totally change. Her schedule could be harder, or incompatible, or she could get a new boyfriend or break up or whatever. I know there are highly mature 20 year olds, but most aren't. Unless you have a back up plan for if she flakes out, I would pick the long term second mama type with the new BFF.

My daughter goes to an inhome that we adore. Her sitter is a 30 year old mother of 2. So I am probably biased.

[lunarlady]

I just hired a nanny, and went for a mom. I really feel that until I had kids, I really didn't understand what moms go through. So I guess I just felt more connection with a woman with kids of her own. My DD is also a social butterfly, so playdates were important for us. But all our applicants were for care in our home. Pick up and drop off would be a deal breaker for me as removing that stress was a key part of why we hired a nanny in the first place.

[CarrieMF]

You mentioned the mom takes the kids back to her house, cooks you supper & then you pick the kids up at her house so are you eating supper there or are you taking it home?

[laurabfig]

nak

either sound like great options, but i definitely think having a nanny in your own home would help you out more in the day-to-day of life as a working mom. if you trust both of them equally, i'd choose the college student.

[la mamita]

I would avoid the college student. College is a very unpredictable time--there are always new internships, study abroad programs, relationships, classes that require way more time than expected, etc...Each semester is different. I wouldn't count on a college student for a long-term nannying situation. I think continuity is very important for childcare situations, and the mom sounds like she could provide that.

[smeep]

I'm going to vote for the mother. Partially, because I used to care for other kids with my DS in tow (a 15 month old when DS was 5 or 6 months which lasted for about a year, and then 2-year-old and 3 1/2-year-old brothers when DS was 14mo which lasted about 9 months). It was such an amazingly wonderful thing to be able to make some extra money while being able to spend time with DS and give him playmates too. He became very close to them, particularly the two brothers. I so very much wish I could do it again when this baby is born, but unless I find a family that wants to pay me $2000+ a month (haha), it's not gonna happen (living/financial situation is different this time - I was happy with a pretty low pay last time).

Not to mention, there is a HUGE benefit to her having friends to play with. I say that not just as the caregiver and mama, but as a mother to a child who essentially had regular playdates with other kiddos 2-5 times a week. They all absolutely loved it, and it was so good for DS in so many ways, especially since he had no siblings.

And, last...I would prefer a mother take care of my kiddo just because there are things you know as a mom that you don't really know before you have kids. I did watch 3 girls (2, 4 and 6) before I had my son and, while I was pretty good with them, I'm sure I was a thousand times better with the other ones after I had DS. Kwim?

[smeep]

Originally Posted by RaeDyCo

Does the mother have a back-up plan if her kids are sick? Would you still bring your DD to her house? While I realize the nanny could get sick also, it is more likely that someone will be sick more often in the mother's house (this is a generalization but usually kids and their parents are sicker more frequently than a young woman with no kids).

Granted *I* was the nanny with the kid, but at the same time if the kids I was taking care of were sick then it could affect my kid the same way as it would the other way around. I guess I just kind of figured, oh well...our kiddos will get a bug. It sucks, but they've probably already passed it between each other before any of them show symptoms. Then again I'm not really scared of bugs and I was still nursing DS. And the solo kid I watched was sick all the time because he lived off of processed crap and was given antibiotics 1+ times a month for whatever. So I was used to having DS around a sick kid and he never caught anything, so I just didn't worry. Boost the immunity, I guess. He'd have more of a chance catching something at our home (living with my parents, two sisters and niece lol).

[pregnant@40]

Without any doubt, I would take the mother. I used to nanny in college, and honestly, I knew nothing about kids & wasn't really maternal or capable. I just thought it would be an easy job. The mother offers long-term stability and can actually form a great maternal-type nurturing relationship w/ your child, and she may be more cued in to the needs of your child throughout the day.

[isabella.4567]

Thanks for the input, ladies.

We decided to go with the student and I am happy with the decision. Stabilitywise it is a gamble, I know, but we are willing to take that risk.

Although the mom brought a lot of good qualities to the table, it is just so much more convenient to have somebody come to my house (for the same money, I have to say and why would I make my live harder and pay just as much $$ for it?)

Also, I did not want DD being away from home so much. Always shuttling her around is not fun for me either. She would have had to go over to the other house not only when I work but also when DH and I have date nights and occasional afternoons when I have errands to run.

I am glad we made a decision finally and that live is back to normal.

[smeep]

I hope it works out wonderfully for you guys!!!