Nursing: do they need it, or do I need it?

[JenChaffee]

I am not ready to wean them, and they (twins) are still quite young (9 mos). But I am beginning to think ahead.

Here's my situation:

I have returned to work in the past few weeks -- 24 hrs per week for now. I am very fortunate with my situation. I live close to work. I am currently working 6hrs for 4 days. My 6 hrs are split into 3hrs in the morning, 3hrs in the afternoon and a 2 hr lunch with the babies.

In the future, how will I know that I can get away with dropping one of our nursing sessions? Already, I often wonder if they would request to nurse or fuss for it if I didn't offer. Sometimes I feel like the midday nursing is more due to me not wanting to give it up than to them wanting it. They certainly are not yet disinterested, but they do not request it.

I have the option of switching to three 8 hour days. I am torn between loving our long lunches and thinking that an extra full day at home with them would be nice.

Thoughts? These are my first, so I have never been through this before.

[Twinklefae]

At 9 months, any dropped feedings should be made up with pumped milk/formula - they are too young for other milks.

It's your choice either way, and whatever will be easiest on you is the way to go - nursing twins at all is an accomplishment, doing it while working and having made it to 9 months is doubly so.

They are too young to 'not be interested', they still need a source of milk, be it nursing or bottles. When I saw the title I was assuming your kids were much older.

[lifeguard]

At nine months I definitely believe they still need it - although it can be a tough age sometimes 'cause they can be so interested in everythign going on around them.

[JenChaffee]

Yes, I agree that 9 months is too early, but I am thinking ahead. I am wondering what signs to watch for in the future to know that they are ready to reduce the number of times they nurse in a day.

And at what age might it be reasonable to try dropping the midday nurse? I had been envisioning maybe at 12 or 14 months, but I really have no idea. And I don't know what indications to watch for to know that we are ready for that change.

Pumping and bottles are not an option for us. Some women produce more of an enzyme that breaks down the fat in the milk. My expressed milk tastes like soap shortly after I pump regardless of how fast I refrigerate or freeze it. It won't hurt them, but they will not eat it.

[Twinklefae]

Oh Lipase is terrible. So sorry that you've been dealing with that.

[akind1]

DS is almost 11 months, and I WOH 2 days a week, 8 hours a day. The days I am home, I have always (I went back to work when he was 7 weeks old) fed on demand, I rarely offer unless he seems interested - or before we are going out somewhere it might be difficult to nurse or I know he will be distracted or before a long car trip (in short, there are exceptions, but generally I wait for him to want to nurse) I have a similiar issue to yours, my milk needs to be used within 24-36 hours or frozen. Have you tried scalding your milk? some women do this to help with that issue.

I agree, a dropped nursing session will need to be made up in some way, with milk or solids. I think this will be how we end up weaning (whenever that is) - eventually he will be full off of what solids he's eaten and not want to nurse.

Also, in regards to changing shifts, I think, because I do WOH only 2 days a week, DS reverse cycles a bit on those days, you may find your twins do the same. He eats only what he absolutely must to get by until I get home. Sometimes that is a 4 oz (breastmilk) bottle and some finger food. Others it is 2 bottles and finger food. I think, were you to go to an 8 hour shift, could they or do they eat enough solids + water to keep them satisfied until you are home again? Some babies at 9 months are loving solids; DS is just getting to the point where he really enjoys it, versus just playing with his food.

[sosurreal09]

dd is 12m/o ans nursing 6-10x a day still...how many times a day do the twins nurse?

[treeoflife3]

Currently, almost every time 18 month kiddo nurses is because she asks. When we are outside or in public, she doesn't fuss but most of the time if I turn her down in our home beacuse I'm busy, she is usually bothered. I'm definitely nursing her for her.

However once in awhile I encourage her to nurse because I know it will calm her down faster and sometimes I DO need that, however I could manage just fine if she didn't nurse but 99% of the time she needs it so I figure that 1% where I offer isn't whats making her need it the rest of the time.

basically, after your own set time (mine was a year) you can just stop offering and only nurse when they ask. You can also set boundaries that work for you guys (such as only nursing in your house the way I do now) and just work with it. You'll get a feel for what all three of you need. no worries

[Julybug]

At 9mo they are in the distraction phase, where everything in the world is interesting. A lot of babies nurse a lot at night during that time so they can spend more of the day playing and exploring, but still get the amount of milk they need. I was thinking my son was going to self-wean by now (15mo) because he was so distractible around 9-10mo. But then he had a stretch for 2-3wks between 11-12mo where he was nursing - and DEMANDING to nurse! - every 2hrs during the day, and at least 1-2x/night (if not more)! Now we do a combination of my offering to him and his asking. Sometimes (like now) he'll go 4-5hrs without nursing during the day, and sometimes he wants to nurse every 1-2hrs for a few hrs (often in the evening). We've also been working on his sleep, so he's been waking up usually 1-2x/night over the last week, often with the last 2-4hrs in bed with us in the early morning hours (even though he's very squirmy - big reason why we almost never co-sleep all night). So he generally gets at minimum 1-2 nursing sessions at night, for an average total of probably 6-9x/day. And that's at 15 months! The length of the sessions and how much he wants them vary a lot day to day, but it's clear he definitely still wants to nurse a fair amount, even though he's eating a lot more solids lately too. If I were looking to start weaning now, with "don't offer-don't refuse", I think he would still nurse at least 4-5x/day. I may start him in part-time daycare around 18mo, so I can get more part-time work and do classes without having to stress sitting, so we'll see how that works out. But as things are now, I'm guessing I'll still have to pump once if we do only 3days/wk for 6-7hrs/day.

I would pay attention to the babies. If at all possible, especially because of the milk issue, I would keep your current schedule for now, until they're at least 12-13mo before even considering going down from there. At that point, if you want to start down the road of weaning, you can have their caregiver give them whole milk (some also do hemp milk, etc.) for 1-2 feedings during the day if you switch to the 3 day/8hr schedule, and then nurse on demand the rest of the time. But bear in mind you may still have to pump at least once at first, so you don't get too engorged and risk mastitis. As someone else asked, would scalding the milk help? Maybe that way it could still be used for the babies.

I wouldn't assume they'll be ready to start dropping feeds anytime soon just due to the current distraction. Odds are they'll want to nurse, at least a few times a day, for another few months - if that works for you.

Good luck!

[Marissamom]

DD dropped her midday feeding while I was working at about 14-15 months. It was easier to tell she was ready because she was having a pumped bottle and started refusing it some of the time, so when she started going 4 out of 5 days without it, and I was only getting 1 oz of milk during my entire day of work, we decided it was time for me to stop pumping. We were talking about pumping while working at my La Leche League meeting a month ago, and my leader said that in her experience 12-14 months is a typical time to stop pumping at work.

[karanyavel]

I think by 18 months (possibly earlier) you could just go along with however often they request it. That's assuming they're not underweight or anything and are eating plenty of solid foods. It'll probably vary from day to day.

I wouldn't rely on a 9 month old to request to nurse, of course, and would offer that midday nursing session myself but accept it if one or both twins refused.

I know "don't ask, don't refuse" is considered a weaning strategy, but it certainly never led to weaning for DD! She nursed until she was almost 4 y/o, at which time I gently weaned her because it was getting physically uncomfortable for me.

--K

P.S. Congratulations on successfully nursing twins! Not sure I could handle it, personally. Just the idea of it makes me feel drained.