Does not want to read - wants to memorize

[anj_rn]

Ok, so DS is 4 and can read, but still has to sound out the big words. He has now decided he does not want to read (because it takes to long). He wants me to read him the story so he can memorize it (it only takes 2-3 times and he knows the whole book word for word).

Any ideas on how to address this. I have bought him new book on subjects he likes (science & engines), but he wants the books read to him. His vision is corrected with glasses, and he has no problem seeing. He just tells me it is faster this way. He does math without a problem & writes his letters fine. No dyslexia, just a stubborn GT kid with an exasperated mama.

[joensally]

Maybe he's taking a break? DS is a real fit and starts kind of guy. At 4 he also had vision issues but could read, and chose not to. We've followed his lead. It may be that your son is getting something he needs from this memorizing process.

[no5no5]

DD went through a phase like this, sort of. We happily complied. What I think was actually happening is that she wasn't really memorizing the whole story, but she was learning the new words. Once her confidence improved, her desire to read new material skyrocketed. She does still want me to pre-read a book now & then, but normally not more than once.

You could also be seeing some stage fright or perfectionism, and in either case indulging him seems like the right strategy.

You've got a healthy, happy 4-year-old kid who can read, who doesn't have vision issues or dyslexia, and who wants to snuggle up with you while you read to him. That sounds pretty good to me.

[Marissamom]

This is mostly from my own experiences, not from research, but there are two "reading styles." some people mostly read by looking at every letter and understanding how they fit together using phonics. some people mostly memorize words and only look at all the letters when they come across new words. It sounds like the second kind of reading is what your son prefers, and what he's doing right now is having you give him the words, then when he looks at the books himself he's memorizing what those words look like. As he memorizes more words reading will become faster and more enjoyable for him, and he'll start to be willing to read more for himself.

[jessica_s]

Originally Posted by Marissamom

This is mostly from my own experiences, not from research, but there are two "reading styles." some people mostly read by looking at every letter and understanding how they fit together using phonics. some people mostly memorize words and only look at all the letters when they come across new words. It sounds like the second kind of reading is what your son prefers, and what he's doing right now is having you give him the words, then when he looks at the books himself he's memorizing what those words look like. As he memorizes more words reading will become faster and more enjoyable for him, and he'll start to be willing to read more for himself.

Yup, this is actually how I read. I finally figured out why I was so good at reading in school and *horrible* with phonics and spelling. I memorize words. I just look at the word and know what it is, I'm not actually reading all the letters. I also would ask my mother to read stories to me around that age (I remember memorizing books at 4) and then I'd read them back to her. I memorized the entire production (everyone's parts) of a full scale play I was in when I was 7 or 8 but couldn't have spelled half the words!

Besides the spelling it's really not been a problem for me. I was always at least a few years ahead in reading and my comprehension is very good as well. I read really fast but get tripped up when there are characters in a story with similar looking names (like Henry and Harry) because I tend to just look at the word quickly. He's right, it is faster! If that's the way he learns then I'd go with it.

[Marissamom]

yeah, it's how I read. I'm a horrible speller, thank goodness for spellcheck

[whatsnextmom]

Don't stress it. He's getting far more from you reading to him than he reading to himself at this point. Don't let this turn into a power struggle. Just read to him. When he wants to read to himself or to you, he will.

[eepster]

DS is getting pretty fluent, but still enjoys it when I read to him. DS even sometimes asks me to read him very short easy books he has completely memorized (such as Good Night Gorilla.) I think he just enjoys the companionship and closeness of it.

DS also will ask me to help him with his shoes and to carry him. Of course he can walk by him self and put on his own shoes, but sometimes he just want to do it together get that extra attention and be close. Even though I can do the dishes all by myself, I prefer to do them with DH helping. Sometimes I ask DS to set the table.

[LynnS6]

He's 4. I think it's his job to make you exasperated .

I second everyone else: He'll get there eventually. Dd went through a phase like that. She could sound things out, but it was too laborious. it's hard work. So, she memorized books and pretended she could read. 6-12 months later, she was reading fluently. She's still not hot at sounding things out. She's in a very phonics heavy 1st grade reading program, and I think it's good for her. She gets some time to read at her level (about 3rd grade) and some time where she has to work on phonics.

I'm a 'top down' reader too, and don't sound things out, so I get it. Sounding things out is a pain. (I also appear to be the exception on this board because I'm an excellent speller. Lousy proofreader, but excellent speller. But since I would argue that spelling and reading are distinct, though related, skills, that's not surprising to me.)

[pinky]

Keep in mind that when mature readers are decoding text, we almost NEVER sound out words--we use a number of strategies to recognize words, but sounding out is only for a very rare unfamiliar word. So while it can be helpful to have good word attack skills in some circumstances, "memorizing" (i.e. learning to recognize a whole word) is actually a more mature reading skill.

[loraxc]

I tend towards whole-word reading but am an excellent speller.

Anyway, like others, I say just wait a bit. DD tired quickly as a new reader; it took about 6 months for her to really ramp up. Once she got really competent, she stopped letting me read to her. (It's "too slow.") I'm still sad about it, but then--I also hate to be read aloud to. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[serenbat]

He wants me to read

do it, and each time elaborate on the topic and add questions and discuss and he will get far more out it

end the end it will change and he will move on read on his own in his own style

[A&A]

Memorizing stories is a big step toward independent reading. I'd go with it.

[anj_rn]

Thanks for the encouragement. I know it is normal, I was just having a bad day. The refusal to read, only writing the letter i, and his decision to "do science experiments" using stuff from the pantry was a little too overwhelming. We have decided to let him choose which subjects he does each day (although he still has to do all the subjects in a week), hoping he will motivate himself a little more. Today we put aside reading for Spanish and he seemed happy with that.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by anj_rn

We have decided to let him choose which subjects he does each day (although he still has to do all the subjects in a week), hoping he will motivate himself a little more. Today we put aside reading for Spanish and he seemed happy with that.

I'm far from an unschooler (both my kids attend private school) but I think that 4 is too young for these kinds of lessons if the child is showing ANY resistance. Being gifted does not, IMHO, trump the fact that he's 4.

[loraxc]

ITA with Linda.

[whatsnextmom]

There are some great books on kitchen science experiments. Plus, those kid concoctions books have lots of fun things to make out of ordinary pantry items. If that is where his interest is at the moment, go with it!

[puddle]

My DD does the same thing. It drove me crazy at first, but I've actually started to enjoy it. When she isn't focusing her energy on the tedious task of sounding out words, she is free to think about other things. The other night she was "reading" a library book that she has memorized, and she started changing some of the words to their opposites. (If I were an ostrich, I could run really slow. If I were a seal, I could swim over the water.) At first I thought she was mixed up, but then I realized she was doing it intentionally, and it turned into a fun little game. DD does have strong perfectionism issues, so I know that's part of it with her. We probably got too excited when she learned how to sound out words, and now it's too high pressure. Once after DH corrected a word that DD had missed, she told him that she didn't want to read anymore because it was scary. I just decided to back off, let her keep memorizing, and she can come back to sounding stuff out when she wants to.

If you want to encourage the pantry experiments, the latest edition of Mothering had a fun little article about some candy experiments that he might enjoy. (It was a bonus feature in the digital version only.)

[Holiztic]

I'm with Linda too, except I am something of an unschooler (at least until he's 6 or so--which to me IS unschool by nature as schooling has historically started at 6 anyway). We'll start doing some schooly-like things at 4 or 5, but it will be totally lead by his interests at that young of an age--if we go 2 weeks with nothing official--fine! Just because he can doesn't mean he should (or must!). I'd rather learning not become "work" until he's much older, and by then I hope to have taught him a work ethic that makes "work" a positive concept (like when he's capable of integrative thinking).

At 4, if there was any resistance at all, even a lack of excitement really, I'd pull back!

Mine's 3.5 and showing many signs of giftedness, but right now he's building a train city with a small Ikea train set, a Waldorf house-set, pieces of construction paper, and marbles and narrating an elaborate story all while he listens to the classical music that he asked for. He actually put together a rather impressive track pattern, too. I think his giftedness is just as evident/utilized in this activity as it is in reading. Even more so IF comparing what he's self-directing and excited about to even the tiniest bit of coercion to "do school". (My comments do not apply to a 4 year old that is in love with reading and begging mommy to listen to him read or do a workbook or whatever).

Sit back, enjoy, let him enjoy, he's not going to lose any IQ by taking a little academic breather--he might just enjoy learning even more later if he does take a breather now!

[sleet76]

My son does this, too. He can read very well and sound out words now, and he'll often hole up with a particular book for a few days and read it over and over. Then he'll bring it to me and ask me to read it to him, and as the words come that he had trouble figuring out on his own, he'll exclaim, "Oh! That's what that word is!!" And then he has that word down pat from then on. Sounds like a similar learning strategy to what you described your son doing.