Respite Care

[christophersmom]

Our SW would like us to possibly be a repite family for the holidays (Thanksgiving). I think it would be great to have an extra kid to spend the holidays with us and my office is closed for the holidays. I am on call that week so it actually means more time at home. He is a 1-year old. I don't think it is something we would do a lot, but I think once in a while would be nice. Especially while we are on hold to help out.
Also, since DD is adopted now, they would allow her to sleep in a pack and play and him in her crib for the weekend, right? Or could he be in a Pack and Play?
Does anyone do respite care? Do the kids acclimate okay for the limited time? Is there a payment for respite care? Do the kids have clothes, diapers, etc for the weekend?
Anything else I should know?

[marsupial-mom]

Every agency is different but most states have a law that requires a real bed or crib for each child. We were specifically told, "do not use a pack and play as a crib. You must have a crib."

[Polliwog]

Respite in NC is $25 a day. Pavi went to respite when she was one (so I could go to the state F/A parent conference.) They had such a good time with her and it worked out well. I don't think our state (at least my county) would worry about where the child slept for a respite weekend. I got my first placement before I was licensed (she was supposed to be respite) and didn't have a crib yet. She slept in a pack-n-play for the first week that she was with me. Not ideal, but it worked. Now that your M. is adopted, they really don't care where she sleeps.

I say go for it.

[christophersmom]

I think we will say yes to this case and maybe do it occasionally.

[christophersmom]

It was HARD! VERY, VERY, VERY HARD. The little boy was just generally very high needs, whiny, and unhappy. If he wasn't on my hip, he was crying. (That included if he was in a carrier, he was still crying, he had to be on my hip and was very floppy so needed both hands to hold him). Hard becuase I had a 7 and 1 year old to tend to, too. Cried going to sleep (only for a few seconds, but still) and cried as soon as he sat up in the morning. He cried a LOT. I would have to think long and hard before I agreed to respite again. In fact I got a call today to do it again for a little set of boys and had to say no.

I heard it is actually only $15/day in this county (not that you do it for the money).

[Polliwog]

That's too bad, Carly.  Pavi went to respite twice when I was at our state's conference and she loved it.  But, all kids are different and have had different experiences.  $15, huh?  That stinks.  I think it's taxable, too. 

[JoyFilled]

We do respite.  I would say only 10% of the kids we have ever had I would not take back.   We love it.

We currently have our bio DD, 2 semi-permanent foster kids and 3 respite kids for 5 days.

[Sierra]

I'm with JoyFilled.  We've only had good experiences with respite.  The kids often see it as something of a vacation, and since we didn't have to worry about setting a bad (or unsustainable) precedent, we were able to do things like order pizza or go out for ice cream, or let the kids decide to stay at the park for half the day.  Of course, we never did it with other kids in our home.  And we always did it with kids age eight and up, so everything was explained to them and they understood.

Sorry your experience was not good.  It sounds like this kido couldn't take the extra disruption in his life.  One years old is soooooooo super young that I think respite care is basically developmentally inappropriate and shouldn't be used unless absolutely unavoidable.  Foster care is already so hard on kids!

[mommaluv321]

Edited by mommaluv321 - 1/8/11 at 5:53am

[christophersmom]

Originally Posted by Sierra 
One years old is soooooooo super young that I think respite care is basically developmentally inappropriate and shouldn't be used unless absolutely unavoidable.  Foster care is already so hard on kids!

I think this was it. He was placed with foster mom at 8 weeks and had lived with her from then until the 11 1/2 months when he stayed with us for the week. He also visits biomom and biodad. So he was really sad and it was hard for him (and us). I think biomom and biodad were extremely selfish putting him through that, they vetoed the trip with foster mom. He stayed with us, went to bio mom and dad for 8 hours, then back to us. I will say he was extremely happy to see foster mom when she picked him up.