Help--3 month old preferring bottles

[ktcl]

I am really struggling right now. DD is 3 months, and has only ever had breastmilk... and I'd like to keep it that way. However, I work and am gone from her from about 7 am to 5 pm every day. I think that it's as a result (and not just random), she doesn't nurse readily. Her best nursing times are in the middle of the night (though she only wakes up once or twice). On the weekends, and in the evenings, when I try to feed her, she will latch on and then pop off within a minute or two. Some ideas I have had so far:
- the let down takes too long and she gets frustrated
- once the let down happens, the milk comes too fast, and she chokes
-when the milk tapers off again, she gets frustrated that it's not coming fast enough.
Some things I have tried:
- pump until the let down happens and then bring her to my breast
- nursing while rocking
- different positions

I have spoken with two different lactation consultants who seem to indicate that "everything is fine"...look at all of the good that IS working. But I feel like I really need some advice I can use about what to do to make it so that my girl will enjoy daytime nursing without a whole lot of drama to make it happen!

any thoughts?

[ewe+lamb]

I would highly recommend that you try using this 'bottle' it's the Softcup from Medela, you'll find it on the LLL website in the shop, i think it's around 20 dollars or therabouts, but doesn't have a nipple but a sort of cup like thing that you can control the flow of milk rather than letting it just pour into her mouth; you need to make her work for the milk; then if she gets used to 'working' for her supper then she'll work harder at the breast - it seems to work well for lots of working mums.

[rhiOrion]

What stage nipple are you using? Use a stage 1 if you're using something higher. Check out kellymom.com for a bunch of other info on this.

[sosurreal09]

you could get you're milk going before the baby latches too if its a let down issue

[ktcl]

Yes, we are definitely using the slowest flow nipple we could find. She has to work very hard for it. I have tried using the pump to get the let down happening. This works occasionally, but often not... especially if it's in the over-tired and over-hungry part of the evening. Any other thoughts for me?

[ktcl]

I"m so excited! My brilliant DW went out and bought a supplemental nursing system since the flow is more consistent. I tried it out this afternoon and it really helped her stay latched on and stick with a good feeding! She only took about 1 ounce of the pumped breastmilk, but got a bunch of my milk!

[ktcl]

Ok, I'm back and still frustrated. The SNS did not work more than that one time. She continues to nurse fabulously in the middle of the night (usually around 3 am and 5 am or 4 and 6), but once daylight hits, she refuses. It's really getting me upset. And really making me feel like I need to give up. For this weekend, DW and I decided we need to just take the weekend off from trying so hard, have her drink pumped milk during the day, and just nurse at night. I'm just feeling super sad because I feel like the possibility of a beautiful nursing relationship is gone.

[ktgrok]

check out kellymomcom for info on nursing strikes

[JudiAU]

I have found the following "rules" helpful. Bottles are only, ever given by someone else and when I am at work. I never, ever give bottles. Bottles are never, ever given at any other time then when I am at work. Bottles are never given around me or if I am home. If you can limit the bottles to only those times when you are physically unable to nurse her then it will really help.

My DS never had much of an issue but my DD has had some rough patches. If she goes for awhile without nursing, I'll pump.

Does she take a pacifier when you are away from you? You might try and limit it while you are home and perhaps she will be a more effective comfort nurser. (Neither of mine where so this is just an idea.)

How does she go to sleep? Somes if LO doesn't want to nurse I need to get her sleepy another way, usually by bouncing a bit on the ball with a sling. When she gets sleepy she'll nurse then, usually to sleep. (She is older though 14m)

Also, I know it is hard but she is a very fragile age for nip confusion. Any chance you can adjust your schedule slightly so that you can work from home one day a week. If you get into a pattern of giving her bottles while you are home it will be very difficult to break and there is a good chance your supply won't stay up.