Daycare provider broke up with us/venting

[isisreturning]

Just wanted to post how sad I am today that DD's daycare provider asked us to find care somewhere else. I don't blame her - she's a single provider taking care of several neurotypical kids + my developmentally delayed DD. It's too hard for her to manage. I just didn't see it coming and I felt good and secure about the care DD was getting from this provider. My heart is breaking as I start the process all over again of explaining to people about DD's special needs and watching their faces go from eager to pleasant to worried to rejecting. For so long I prayed for DD to survive, and she is, and for that we are so incredibly grateful. But some days I feel we've only jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. Will I spend my whole life begging other people to take a chance on DD, cajoling people to see her as a miracle and not a hardship? Big sighs. I know we'll get through this but I just felt like y'all would understand and feel my pain.

[VroomieMama]

I will not pretend to understand the frustration and pain you're going through but have you thought about hiring a Nanny to your home to care for your DD? Maybe it'll be much easier?

In meantime, things will get better. Hang in there.

[LynnS6]

Are there any daycares near you that bill themselves as 'inclusive', meaning they take both typically developing and developmentally delayed children? Some universities have them, and I know that some organizations such as Easter Seals run some. You might want to check to see if anything like that exists where you live. (It's easier if you're in an urban area, but I suspect that the waiting lists are long.)

Another thought is that if there are colleges near you, sometimes you can hire a recent college grad to nanny for you -- someone who wants to go into speech language pathology or special ed might be looking to get some experience before graduate school.

[SpottedFoxx]

Must be something in the air - we just had the same thing happen last week. Are there any JCC's in your community. You don't have to be Jewish to attend but they are known for their inclusive programming. That's where we moved our DS to and he is over the moon happy now.

{{{hugs}}}

[babygirlie]

I'm so sorry

[isisreturning]

Thanks everyone.

Nannies - yes, we've considered this idea but cannot afford it. And, we feel that DD really benefits from being around neurotypical kids.

We do have a college in town but to post on their job board you have to offer minimum wage, which we cannot afford to pay. And I don't feel good about paying someone below minimum wage to do the very skilled work of caring for DD.

The inclusive centers are at least an hour (roundtrip) from us. We just couldn't make that work, logistically. Plus DD is in a special ed preschool four mornings a week, so we need to find daycare for her that is near her school.

My only local option is to go down the list from the childcare action council and call and visit places one by one until we find someone who's willing to take her (and who we feel comfortable with). And then cross our fingers that it sticks.

We aren't in a position to move right now and quitting work or reducing work hours will cause a lot of other really unpleasant changes to our lives (like bankruptcy, foreclosure). I'm just feeling a bit stuck in terms of options, and feeling really sad about how DD is perceived by others.

[SpottedFoxx]

Is your daughter in a self contained or inclusion class at school? If so, how about reaching out to the other parents in the class? She can't be the only special needs student with working parents. Maybe send the teacher an email and ask for some guidance as well.

I've found that by befriending my son's classmates parents, he will have the advantage of being around similar children with parents who just, well, get it. They also make incredible resources. They can give you the good, bad and the ugly about the services in your community.

Maybe you can have an informal Halloween party and invite her class? Gives you an opportunity to meet other parents and then pick their brains (Halloween pun intended).

[Ellien C]

Originally Posted by isisreturning

Plus DD is in a special ed preschool four mornings a week, so we need to find daycare for her that is near her school.

I see that the PP has beat me to it, but yes, by all means CALL your school (principal, guidance couselor or secretary) and ask if they have any suggestions. You might be able to pay another parent below minimum to take your child 1-2 afternoons a week. Maybe you could get 2 parents to cover a whole week. Or perhaps someone else is in the same boat and you could lead a nanny-share.

[VroomieMama]

I have no other ideas or suggestions but just wanted to say, hang in there, and like I said before, things will get better somehow.

[LynnS6]

I suspected you'd been down all the roads I'd mentioned, but you never know. I hope you can find a provider who's willing to work with you. It's got to be tough!

[ciles]

No advice but :hugs: Did you end up finding a solution?

[isisreturning]

Thanks for checking in. 

The school only had one name and number for us (sad, not a lot of providers in our area that are known to be willing to take SN kids). DD's private speech therapist was checking around and coming up empty. Double sad. But then we totally lucked out. I checked on Craigslist and there was a brand new licensed daycare that had just opened the day before. They met all our criteria - and they adore DD, have great skills and experience, and since she is one of the first kiddos in there, I think she'll be able to stay there as long as she needs. Yay! Happy!

[SpottedFoxx]

That's wonderful news!!!

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

That's awesome!!