DH spanked DS - Page 2

[dalia]

I wish my parents fought in front of me. I knew they fought, every kid knows when their parents are fighting whether they hide it or not. I believe what is important is for kids to see resolutions to arguments, so that try can learn that people fight and it doesn't have to be the end of the world. we just need to communicate, everyone in the family as honest people who make mistakes and are learning about life together.

sending you another hug. I think everyone needs to remember that this was a tough situation and you are doing the best you can. let's reserve the harsh judgement for those that really deserve it!

[Lineymom]

Originally Posted by dalia

I wish my parents fought in front of me. I knew they fought, every kid knows when their parents are fighting whether they hide it or not. I believe what is important is for kids to see resolutions to arguments, so that try can learn that people fight and it doesn't have to be the end of the world. we just need to communicate, everyone in the family as honest people who make mistakes and are learning about life together.

sending you another hug. I think everyone needs to remember that this was a tough situation and you are doing the best you can. let's reserve the harsh judgement for those that really deserve it!

Thanks Dalia!

We are really good about resolving conflict in front of the kids. I agree on the importance of this.

I hate how disfunctional this thread makes us seem. I am thinking of deleting it if possible. We really are not so as it seems.

[ssh]

Originally Posted by dalia

I wish my parents fought in front of me. I knew they fought, every kid knows when their parents are fighting whether they hide it or not. I believe what is important is for kids to see resolutions to arguments, so that try can learn that people fight and it doesn't have to be the end of the world. we just need to communicate, everyone in the family as honest people who make mistakes and are learning about life together.

sending you another hug. I think everyone needs to remember that this was a tough situation and you are doing the best you can. let's reserve the harsh judgement for those that really deserve it!

I agree with this too. People can disagree and get angry but then things can become ok again. Also some things are just wrong like hitting people, being mean or disrespectful. I think we need to send our kids very clear messages about things we think are wrong.

[Smithie]

"I hate how disfunctional this thread makes us seem. I am thinking of deleting it if possible. We really are not so as it seems."

I really hear you on that one. I could post threads about things that have happened in my family that would make this spanking/couch incident seem like NOTHING, I promise you. But in general we are very happy folks!

[heartmama]

Please do not delete threads--it is a violation of the user agreement. You can, of course, edit posts for safety and privacy concerns. If you feel a post needs to be removed due to safety issues please contact an administrator for help.

If you feel someone has violated the user agreement in a response, please alert a moderator. This is the right course of action if you feel the thread is out of hand, not deleting the post/posts involved.

Thanks!

[SpottedFoxx]

Originally Posted by dalia

I wish my parents fought in front of me. I knew they fought, every kid knows when their parents are fighting whether they hide it or not. I believe what is important is for kids to see resolutions to arguments, so that try can learn that people fight and it doesn't have to be the end of the world. we just need to communicate, everyone in the family as honest people who make mistakes and are learning about life together.

sending you another hug. I think everyone needs to remember that this was a tough situation and you are doing the best you can. let's reserve the harsh judgement for those that really deserve it!

Studies have shown time and time again that fighting in front of children is healthy. It teaches the child conflict resolution, it shows them how to work at a relationship and it even shows passion within a relationship (in an appropriate way). Of course, you need to keep in mind when arguing in front of the child to fight fair.

We are all dysfunctional my friend. As long as you keep the "fun" in dysfunction, you'll be fine

[robinia]

Just to agree with the previous posters who have said how important it is to be seen to be standing up for your child. How my sisters and I wished that our mother would stand up for us - even just to acknowledge after the event that she did not agree with what was happening. Maybe she disagreed privately with my father, but if so we never knew; hiding the conflict from children can look exactly the same as not standing up for them at all.

Sure every situation is better handled calmly, but if I have to choose between upsetting children by losing my cool when they are mistreated, or staying silent and letting them think that they deserve abusive treatment, I know that I'll choose the former.

[mama2cal&darby]

I just want to send the OP a little love. This thread got pretty harsh and judgemental. So sorry you have had to go through this situation with your DH and didn't find much of the support you were looking for here!
I hope all is calmer on the home front!
xoxo

[SpottedFoxx]

Originally Posted by mama2cal&darby

I just want to send the OP a little love. This thread got pretty harsh and judgemental. So sorry you have had to go through this situation with your DH and didn't find much of the support you were looking for here!
I hope all is calmer on the home front!
xoxo

I respectfully disagree. I think everyone here was very supportive of the OP. They were NOT supportive of her husband and his behavior.