I feel lost

[jeteaa]

Last year I was a FT at home mom/homemaker and hsing parent of 4 and 6 yr old dd's. We put the dc in school for this year... they both LOVE school. I had always thought (planned) on being a hsing parent.... so I never even considered that both kids would be in school and I "could" work... Even though I volunteer at the schools, do chores/shopping etc, the free time I have makes me stir crazy. I feel VERY guilty about doing any relaxing/fun activities while dh is at work. I find myself cleaning counters that are already clean to just keep "working". On the otherhand, my free time is so random that I doubt there is a job that I could work w/ my schedule. And I DO want to be available for my dc before/after school and during school breaks. Any words of wisdom?

[Masel]

I have a couple "jobs" that I planned to do while a SAHP. My DH is totally on board and there isn't really a timeline for these. First, I am taking care of myself. I do not feel at all guilty if I go to the gym when there is laundry or dishes to do. I'm healthier than I've been in my life. My other job is to work on long term projects around the house. We need to move eventually and there are tons of little repair jobs that I can do.

[mamazee]

Give yourself a huge break. You do not have to be "on" every second your husband is at work. Do you work weekends and evenings? You can have free time during the day, and should feel no guilt for that.

[EzzysMom]

pick up a book! Think about what used to make you spark 7 years ago! Donate your time to others less fortunate when you can, there's always someone who will need you if you want to feel needed. Start exercising. Learn to make things from scratch that you buy now if cooking interests you. Your family will have more fun too with a mom who is engaged and has some interests/stories to share when you connect back up together again!

[hadleys_mom]

Perhaps you could talk to your DH and discuss how you feel. Possibly knowing that he is cool with you relaxing and enjoying yourself well release you of the guilt of being "idle". Once you can get past the guilt, appreciate the gift you have been given and enjoy your time. My DH says that it gives him a great deal of pride to know that his hard work allows us to homeschool our children and for me to explore different interests and hobbies. It makes it all worthwhile for him.

[jeteaa]

dh is fine w/ me having idle time. He is a wonderful dh.... Its that I KNOW IF I did get a job (to earn money) that money would benefit our family. But if I do work, it will take away from the quality of home life my children and dh have. I will not be as available to help at my kids school. dh would have to step up and help out more with cleaning, cooking, shopping, driving kids to activities etc, which I know he would rather not do. I grew up in a family and area where it was VERY uncommon for a parent to stay home when kids were in school. The only relative I have that is/was a sahp is very wealthy.

[mich]

I think we all play the "if" game. If I get a job, and so on. But you already know that it's not whats best for you. You said yourself you want to be available during the day, evenings, after school. You have made a big change and it may take months, even all year, to adjust.

You could try writing in a journal when you have the urge to clean the counter again. Spend some time with yourself and see what you might like to do with your newly acquired free time.

[Fay]

It's important to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your kids when they are home. You don't win a trophy for running yourself ragged all day.