Please help me put this in perspective

[LindsayK]

We're at MIL in Portugal right now. DS is an EBF baby of 12 weeks old. MIL decided that since DS hadn't had a BM in several days he needed something to help work things along, and when I was out, went to the pharmacy and got this:

Cha de funcho

I'm just trying to take deep breaths and not explode over her giving him this without getting my permissions, but I'm not going to go there right now.

What I would *really* like is a little perspective of whether or not/how bad it was that he has ingested the ingredients (listed in the link) are for an, until now, EBF baby.

ingredients:
dextrose
dill
fennel
chammomile
malodextrin

[blessedwithboys]

It could be worse. I'd be pissed, but knowing that I'd be pissed is a big reason why I never left my infants in the care of anyone else.

Yes, it's an assault on the gut, and yes, it could trigger allergies to those herbal ingredients, but unless you have a strong family history of allergies, I'm betting that going right back to EBF will heal your little one's gut soon enough.

I'm not sure how much longer you will be in Portugal, but maybe if you plan to leave your LO alone with MIL again, you might want to just say he had a BM that morning.

[LauraN]

I dont't think that will hurt the baby. Dextrose and maltodextrin are basically sugar and starch, not great as regular additives, but not harmful once. The rest are herbs. Chamomile is the main ingredient in natural colic and teething remedies, so EBF babies have been given those two for a long time. Likewise, fennel is a very gentle herb used for digestion issues, so I'm sure none of the ingredients will harm your baby. I think I'd first of all thank MIL for using something so mild and natural (she could have gone witha baby laxative which would be harsher), and then explain that while EBF babies sometimes go several days without pooping they are rarely dehydrated because of the high water content in breastmilk. A constipated baby would produce hard stools that were hard to push out and would therefore cry and strain. Then I would gently but firmly tell her that you will make decisions about what to give her. With my husband's family I found it necessary to blame the pediatrician, as they were more likely to listen that way--so you can say you've discussed it with the doctor and he says all is well.
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[Buzzer Beater]

I'd be pissed off... I'd be upset I wasn't respected as a competent parent as well as upset about the crap put in my babe (even tho I recognize it's not that big a deal ingredient wise). If my mom or MIL did that I'd be a-bitchin'. Just my perspective.

[CherryBombMama]

what is with MILs doing that?

mine gave my EBF ds "bean milk" which is basically the water left over when you cook beans w/o my consent because he was "sick". i was so mad!!

this has been my line over and over, maybe it could help you - "thank you for trying to help with ds (enter problem), but i really am not comfortable giving him anything other than breastmilk. when he gets a little older, i wouldnt mind at all if you gave him that ..." and then of course i say this over and over until she drops it lol

[LindsayK]

Thanks, everyone for weighing in. I was really unhappy that DS got a whole bunch of ingredients in him that I didn't want, but feeling better about things, at least on the "medical" side. I guess its hard to say, sans a reaction, how much this affects DS' gut, but this only happened once, and he'll only be getting mama-milky goodness for the next 3 months!

I video chatted with DH today, and he was even more steamed about MIL doing this than I was. Evidently, she had mentioned wanting to give DS something to DH, and *he* told her no, too! We're leaving tomorrow for the States, so we'll deal with the family issues later, I just can't do this on my own right now.

I'm sad, because in the past I had always felt that even if MIL didn't agree with our parenting decisions, she at least respected and followed them. Now I know that this is not the case, so will have to make future choices accordingly.

[ktgrok]

That looks like the ingredients in gripe water. I gave my EBF baby gripe water several times with no problems. My midwife advised it.

[D_McG]

I'd be annoyed that she was intruding but wouldn't be bothered about him actually consuming it. Then again I don't really believe the whole 'virgin gut' thing people talk about. Maybe I'm just misinformed.