Finally watched Hoarders ... - Page 2

[clutterwarrior]

We don't have the show here...although I think it's on Foxtel but we don't have cable TV.

However just reading through this thread is enough to make me start itching to keep decluttering!

This year has been a turning point for me, and I am realising that I really have had hoarding tendencies...not to the extreme of people on that show, but insecurity about finances and so forth have led me in life to hold onto stuff and buy too many things on sale etc and then stash them into closets, that sort of thing. I may not be that young anymore, but at least I am changing my ways now and not waiting to die and let my kids do it for me.

[tree_hugger]

This thread inspired me to go and watch a couple of episodes. And like some previous posters, within minutes I was up and cleaning. I actually had to pause at one point to get up and sweep the kitchen floor.

I don't take pleasure in the misfortune of the people on the show, but they really do motivate me.

[bandgeek]

I watch that show too, for motivation. I'm not the type to get up and clean THAT minute, but I start thinking in my head what I can toss, what I can clean, how I can organize XYZ....that sort of thing.

My ex is a hoarder. I don't know that he's as bad as the people on the show, but it's one of the reasons I left him (it went along with his controlling behavior). I need a NICE house. Not fancy, not perfect, just nice. I need to be able to cook in the kitchen and not have to move stuff to sit down or go to bed. But honestly, for almost 2 years after leaving, I still struggled with the lifestyle. It wasn't even MY problem, but somehow I'd picked up on some of the habits. Or maybe just got too used to living like that.

I'm not one to shop and bring home a bunch of stuff (I'm usually broke) but well-meaning people (like my mom) often drop off toys or clothes for the kids and when we first moved into the apartment, FURNITURE. Ok, it's great, and we did need it, but then it got to the point that I didn't know what to do with all of it. My DD is disabled and has her own furniture. I only have my son half the time. And I don't entertain. So one futon is enough ya know? But we had like 3 extra chairs...that alone made one room feel like you couldn't move around (it was a really tiny apt).

So when I decided to move I started getting rid of *everything*. Like bobandjess I had to just throw a lot of stuff out. I couldn't deal with figuring out what to "do" with it. I set a lot of stuff next to the dumpster and I know some of it found new homes, which makes me feel a tad bit better. Then I brought one load of stuff to the thrift shop around the corner and just gave it away. None of it was worth anything really and it felt good not to toss it in the dumpster.

My apartment was never unlivable, but it was messy. And too cluttered. And I was constantly trying to figure out how to get everything to fit so that it DID look nice. In the end though, I had to throw out the furniture to get it to look nice.

I never felt like I needed to "hold on" to the things like a true hoarder would, I just hate being wasteful and also felt like I didn't have the time to deal with it. Once I went into the decluttering frenzy, I felt a whole lot better.

[Mirta]

Originally Posted by clutterwarrior

We don't have the show here...although I think it's on Foxtel but we don't have cable TV.

I don't have cable either, or Netflix, but I am able to watch the show online
http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/index.jsp they put up a full episode every week, either on Tues or Weds..

It tends to give me a kick in the pants to clean!

[Drummer's Wife]

Hoarders makes me want to throw everything in my house away!

How about that cat lady? I couldn't believe how many dead cats they found (and live ones). I can't imagine the smell in those homes. How can people live like that? Do they just become immune to the stench?

[Alyantavid]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

Hoarders makes me want to throw everything in my house away!

How about that cat lady? I couldn't believe how many dead cats they found (and live ones). I can't imagine the smell in those homes. How can people live like that? Do they just become immune to the stench?

Oh God. We haven't gotten to that one yet.

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

Hoarders makes me want to throw everything in my house away!

How about that cat lady? I couldn't believe how many dead cats they found (and live ones). I can't imagine the smell in those homes. How can people live like that? Do they just become immune to the stench?

Yeah, this was the one where I actually felt physically sick and had to turn it off when DH came in the room. (He doesn't have sympathy for REGULAR pets in the home, as he is from a culture where animals don't share living space with humans, so that episode would have sent him over the edge.)

[Usually Curious]

Originally Posted by Mirta

I don't have cable either, or Netflix, but I am able to watch the show online
http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/index.jsp they put up a full episode every week, either on Tues or Weds..

It tends to give me a kick in the pants to clean!

Thanks for the link. I watched an episode last night while I was up w/the baby. I'm typing from my clean living room as I speak. The kitchen is also clean. I think that show is gonna be real good for me!

[Zach'smom]

I watched an episode an it literally made me sick. There were 2 children that didn't have access to safe food or their beds. They had to crawl over mountains of junk and cat poop to get through the house. There were also storage containers full of junk in the backyard. It was hideous. Watching that show made me want to scrub everything!!!

[wemoon]

The thing about this show that gets me is not the fact that there is so much junk in their homes, but how the mental illness can take over someone's life. Those of us on this thread who say that we get motivated to get up and clean after watching the show are not suffering from mental illness.

[Peppermint Leaf]

It almost makes sense to empty out the house into a big warehouse where it can then be sorted properly -- there is no room to move around in order to sort anything.

Emptying the house would also give an opportunity to give it a good cleaning/painting. .. and then they only have to take back in the house what they truly need.

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by wemoon

The thing about this show that gets me is not the fact that there is so much junk in their homes, but how the mental illness can take over someone's life. Those of us on this thread who say that we get motivated to get up and clean after watching the show are not suffering from mental illness.

Yes, I agree! Or really, how mental illness can manifest. These people all have good intentions. They don't move into their house thinking "wow, there's too much space in here. Let's fill every square inch." They go in thinking "gee, I'm so glad I have this beautiful place to live" and then the clutter just builds and builds and builds. The one guy was keeping everything so that he could take better care of his family. One lady couldn't turn down food even if it was moldy. One lady knew her house was out of conrtrol, so they decided to buy a second house, move in only what they NEEDED and get rid of the rest... but it just didn't happen and the clutter continued to build and then she had TWO houses chock full of stuff. One couple were "caring for cats" - but it was too much for them to do (that one was mentioned earlier). I mean, they all have good intentions, imo... it's just that they're not able to carry that out in a way that's actually HELPFUL, you know?

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by wemoon

The thing about this show that gets me is not the fact that there is so much junk in their homes, but how the mental illness can take over someone's life. Those of us on this thread who say that we get motivated to get up and clean after watching the show are not suffering from mental illness.

Thank you for posting this.

[Zach'smom]

Originally Posted by wemoon

The thing about this show that gets me is not the fact that there is so much junk in their homes, but how the mental illness can take over someone's life. Those of us on this thread who say that we get motivated to get up and clean after watching the show are not suffering from mental illness.

You are so right. It is scary how that illness does take over peoples lives to the point where child services and animal services are there taking your family away and you still can't give up all the filth and trash. Nobody wants to be like that.

[tallulahma]

my dh has hoarder tendencies. when we were first married we fought so much about the piles and piles of STUFF. papers piled up, boxes full of crap stacked up. in his house there were two entire rooms full of piles of papers and boxes of stuff.

i think the issue was that his mom was a true hoarder- her house was full of so. much. stuff. BUT she was a clean freak, so everything was spotless, there was just so much clutter- and so many things boxes up and put into rubbermaid containers that she just stacked up, stacked in the shed, in the storage unit, in the spare bedrooms.

i am the opposite of a hoarder. i keep nothing. I could donate everything i own today and walk away from it. I keep my photos digital- I take pictures of the kids artwork and store it digitally, i downsize my clothes every month.

i worked with dh so much and the most we could agree on was that his hoarding had to stay out of my house- we had a shed at our old house and we pay for a storage until now that we sold our home and live in an apartment.

i think its been important for him to learn what it feels like to live in a decluttered, spotless house. he cleans a lot now. after we moved his stuff and his moms stuff that he insisted on keeping into the storage unit... he was able to go in there and bring our one box and sort it.

but the hugeness of the task overwhelmed him when it was in his living area.

its interesting to live with someone with the tendencies. I am constantly asking him, "do you really think you will use that?" or "how about we wait to buy that until its a need, or until project A is done"

our patio has about 10 big things that need to get donated and he is really trying to hang on to them.

we watched hoarders the other night and I felt anger rise in me because of our struggles. I was watching him squirm in discomfort too. he swears up and down he could never let it get like that. I do not think he realizes his mothers house WAS like that and he LIVED in it for years.

because hers was so clean, he doesnt see it as a problem.'

[tallulahma]

i guess my point was to say that people always focus on the filth in these homes, but there are a lot of hoarders who are at the same time clean. hoarding does not always equal filth.

my mil cleaned every inch of htat house, she just moved the neatly stacked piles.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by tallulahma

i guess my point was to say that people always focus on the filth in these homes, but there are a lot of hoarders who are at the same time clean. hoarding does not always equal filth.

my mil cleaned every inch of htat house, she just moved the neatly stacked piles.

Piles do mean dust and sometimes bugs get into piles. Piles can become filthy is not managed correctly, don't kid yourself.

[annettemarie]

Well, I think it's important to remember that hoarding is often linked to OCD. Some people can "manage the hoard" and use their OCD to their advantage, organizing and labeling things so they are manageable. Others can't or suffer from perfection paralysis, where they are afraid to start because they fear they won't be able to do it right, and I think those people benefit from outside help. I know that's where I was this summer when we decluttered.

I do find this whole idea of voyeurism at other people's mental health issues as a form of entertainment to be, I don't know... distasteful? morally repugnant? If nothing else, it does a disservice because it allows people to pass judgment without truly understanding the complex issues behind it.

OTOH, for someone who does have hoarding tendencies/issues, it can be helpful to see that someone else is going through (and conquering!) the same issues.

[Alyantavid]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

Well, I think it's important to remember that hoarding is often linked to OCD. Some people can "manage the hoard" and use their OCD to their advantage, organizing and labeling things so they are manageable. Others can't or suffer from perfection paralysis, where they are afraid to start because they fear they won't be able to do it right, and I think those people benefit from outside help. I know that's where I was this summer when we decluttered.

I do find this whole idea of voyeurism at other people's mental health issues as a form of entertainment to be, I don't know... distasteful? morally repugnant? If nothing else, it does a disservice because it allows people to pass judgment without truly understanding the complex issues behind it.

OTOH, for someone who does have hoarding tendencies/issues, it can be helpful to see that someone else is going through (and conquering!) the same issues.

I totally disagree. I think it allows people to understand that it is a disease, not just laziness. I personally, could not stand to live in a house with that much stuff, so it's strange to me that people can. So watching this is educating me that it isn't that they want to live that way, but that they can't help it.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by Alyantavid

I totally disagree. I think it allows people to understand that it is a disease, not just laziness. I personally, could not stand to live in a house with that much stuff, so it's strange to me that people can. So watching this is educating me that it isn't that they want to live that way, but that they can't help it.

For some people, sure. For others, it just seems to be a reason to pass judgment without understanding.