Very Demanding Toddler

[foodymama]

I normally don't limit breastfeeding at all but recently DD has been getting very demanding and aggressive about it. It usually happens in the middle of making dinner or right after a nursing session (which I never limit). At dinnertime I can understand because she probably just wants my attention even though I let her help me or give her something to do that she enjoys. I don't understand why she does it right after finishing nursing and I'm talking like a minute or two afterwards? I try to distract her or offer her food and all that results in is a full-blown tantrum.

I haven't been very strict with setting specific times for nursing but even when I try that doesn't go well either. DD is very spirited and stubborn! When she wants something she is the type of child that redirection does not work on. I know every also says that you should keep them busy and avoid sitting down but I have rheumatoid arthritis and that is impossible most times. Does anyone have a similar child or have any ideas?

[D_McG]

Both of mine went through phases like that. I just didn't allow it (and just let the tantrum pass). But I can't deal with frequent nursing except in v. small infants.

[crunchy_mommy]

DS sounds a lot like yours, he's 20 months old and actually nurses more than 2 newborn babies combined. It's kind of strange to see my friends' newborns nurse just once in a 1-2 hour period while my DS nurses 5+ times during the same...

It is definitely worse if I'm sitting down, or not interacting with him directly/trying to do something. As far as dinner time, though, I know DS gets very hungry while we're cooking, maybe you could move dinner up by a half hour or have some of her favorite snacks ready while you cook?

The rest of the day, honestly it all depends on my mood etc. Sometimes it's easier just to nurse him on demand, even if it's many times an hour. Other times, I offer to read to him (his absolute favorite activity) and that holds him off for 10-20 minutes (plus he gets the cuddling & attention even moreso than if he were nursing)... Or I sing songs with him etc... Doesn't always work but I figure the times it doesn't work, he probably really does 'need' to nurse (even if he just finished)...

ETA: Is this a phase for her? Or was she always like this? For my DS it's not a phase, so I deal with it differently than I might if he weren't like this from birth....

[foodymama]

I agree crunchy_mommy. It usually depends on my mood and my health on that particular day as to weather I will just give in to her demands or if I feel up to trying to do major distractions (which is what it takes and that doesn't always work. You're also right about snacks during meal preparation. Cheese is her favorite and we do offer her that but it seems I can still never finish a meal without having to nurse her.

As an aside, we went out for the day on Saturday with my family and my sister, BIL and nephew came in the car with DH, DD and I. DD had nursed before we left the house and then we went to breakfast. We made a quick pit stop at our house for potty breaks and then we set out for Philadelphia. 45 minutes from the city DD started to say "eat,eat" (her words for nursing). She was just tired but "eat, eat" continued the whole way until we could get somewhere safe for me to nurse her. She drove everyone bonkers! I offered her snacks, I offered to sing her songs and asked her to close her eyes, we have a DVD player and she had already been watching a DVD for distraction but nothing helped. When DH and I have gone places alone with DD we have "given in" to her "eat, eat" pleading and stopped so I could nurse her and it still doesn't seem to help. I nurse her, but her back in her carseat and it starts all over again! On occasion my MIL will take her for the day and she doesn't have to nurse while she is there and she even takes a nap without nursing while with MIL. I guess that's what really irks me. I know she doesn't "need" it.

[crunchy_mommy]

Oh my gosh, how funny, DS's word for 'nurse' is "eat eat" as well!!!

Yeah, I can leave DS with DH for a couple hours (never tried longer though) and he'll be fine without nursing -- although he hears my car pull in & is already crying for milk before I walk in the door. DH also managed to get DS to sleep a few times without nursing (when I wasn't around). So frustrating.