At what age would you leave homeschoolers alone, if you had to work? - Page 4

[craft_media_hero]

I think it would be fine.

You could take the kids out and about after work (you said around 3ish? Which is a perfect time for after school activities). They could do a lot of their non-independent work on the weekends.

I guess it would depend on the neighborhood and all as to whether I'd be paranoid about cps.

My single working mom let me unschool 8th grade (for which I am still grateful; I really needed the decompression at the time). I was home alone all day and loved it. I read comic books and watched x-files those were the days and FWIW, I was a "latchkey" (tho I'm not sure I like that term) kid before that and after and never felt neglected or scared or anything of the sort. I liked coming home from school and having the house to myself, getting a snack and watching after-school shows or reading *shrug* I think it helped me be independent/self-sufficient, and having my parents trust that I was capable of caring for myself was a big confidence booster.

About the hours, yes 30 seems a bit much. But if you went to work early and they slept late, that would really help a lot. Also, could they buddy up with anybody for one or maybe two days? So they'd only have a few days a week on their own? Also, I think it would depend for me on whether this was a temporary or long-term decision. Will the 10 yr old be doing this for the next 8 years? Or could you get an extra job during the summer and squirrel away some $ so that the rest of the year you could work less hours?

If you were extremely concerned, would it be possible to wait til the oldest is 16 and able to drive? That would probably change the situation a lot. Or possibly go into work after lunch and stay later instead? That would seem more "acceptable" to outsiders, I think, since a lot of kids are home alone in the afternoon.

Some homeschoolers are never home; some are home a lot. We are home-y homeschoolers. We do no more than one "class" outside of home a week, and about the same for playdates. Honestly, I would feel really run down and unable to keep up with our academics and home life if we were out every single day. That's just me and my family, though. We are really happy with the balance that we have.

We must remember that the OP's kids have requested this. They are on board. Because it is their own desire, they will probably be extremely cooperative to make any kind of situation work in which they are able to stay together and continue homeschooling.

If I were to find myself a single mom (again), I would still bend hell and high water to make homeschooling work for my family. Even if that meant working nights while the oldest held down the spot or taking a pay cut for a job that would work out better or even working 12 hour days 3 days a week instead of a regular schedule. It is tough for single mommas, and no the situation will not always be perfect.

OP, kudos to you for looking for solutions to work this out for your family you obviously have a lot of forethought and really care a lot about how strongly your kids feel about this or you wouldn't even be considering it.

[Kreeblim]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

Nothing stops them from calling, but when CPS or the police show up and see there is a present full time parent that is legally HSing there is no question of neglect. Unlike them showing up and finding out that the parent is leaving the kids unattended for over 30 hours a week during what they consider to be "school hours".

Again, that is assuming it is illegal to homeschool from 3pm to 8pm (or whatever hours she chooses) in her state. If a cop pulls me over in a 50mph zone because in his opinion doing 35mph is too fast for the road in broad daylight, then I am going to win that fight in court. Homeschooling and unschooling are BOTH negligent in the eyes of many people but we still do it. What matters is whether what she is doing is both legal in terms of proper schooling, and legal in terms of leaving children that age alone. What one cop considers to be "school hours" doesn't matter as much as what the state considers to be school hours.

If I was concerned about what authority figures of import thought was "negligent" then I would have my kids in a regular school. I follow the law. OP should as well, without being afraid that the laws will change mysteriously when some neighbor gets their panties in a twist.

You can attempt to advise to me to not HS due to my opinion but that ship has sailed since I have an adult child that was unschooled and never attended an institutional school. But then I wasn't working outside the home and leaving my kids there without any supervision for over 30 hours a week.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to get heated. I meant the rhetorical "you" there, not you specifically. I'm sure that you, like most of the parents here, do what is best for your family. I probably should have worded that differently

[Kreeblim]

I guess what I am having trouble with is that some of these are the same arguments I get about homeschooling AT ALL.

"It must be so lonely for the kids."

"How to they get to socialize?"

"Aren't they going to get into trouble if they're not at school during the day?"

"Isn't it illegal for them to be home all day?"

"How will you make sure they actually learn things?"

I mean, as long as things are legal, your kids complete their work (according to the schooling method you choose, either partially alone or during non-standard hours, in this case cyber school), and they don't feel social isolation or get into trouble I don't see how this is worse than shoving them into some random local school because OP thinks she has no other choice. I'm sure if the OP could stay home with them forever, she would, and if my kids asked to go to a regular school during that time (or proved that they can't handle being home alone) then I would send them. I would not sign them up for public school just because I had to earn a living with no other options or situational trials out of fear of a nosey neighbor who doesn't know the law calling CPS on a perfectly legal situation.

[mom2ponygirl]

Originally Posted by Greenmama2

Just responding to the activity timestuff, park days around here don't usually start before 11 with most families turning up around 1pm. It's not at all uncommon for 3 or 4 families to stay until 5pm or later in Summer.

In our group the majority of events start after 1pm and approximately 1/3 of the activities start after 3. We have many older kids in the group and families like to get 'school' stuff done before field trips and hanging out with friends. Some kids are also doing some community college classes, and some families have some of their kids in public school while homeschooling others. We also try to have one or two events a month in the evening or on Saturday so some dads and/or working moms can hang out as well.

With my work schedule my 12 yr old cannot make as many homeschool events as we used to, but she says she is very happy with the arrangement. It has afforded her more independence, chances to stay home alone some days, chances to hang out with me at the university and visit with the grad students, etc. She has a group of friends that she likes to hang out with at homeschool events but she keeps in touch electronically between times. There are also other homeschool parents who can occasionally swing by and pick her up to go to events when I must work. We pay them back by sharing info on cool public talks at the University, tutoring in math and science whenever needed, and giving rides when we can!

I think the OP should try it. It is hard to know what arrangements will work out beforehand. Our schedule is still evolving but working better all the time. I started working outside the home 20 hours/week in July. We have a small farm so that adds a couple hours a day for outside chores. It is busy but most days, I like busy.

[pigpokey]

I don't get it. What could possibly be the problem with leaving a responsible 14 year old in charge??? My family history is FULL of 14 year olds running things ... because mom died and left 11 siblings to raise ... because mom was a single parent and had to work full time to afford a basic apartment. I also can't imagine calling three OLD kids "latchkey kids". Once you're over say, 11, I don't see how you are latchkey and you are definitely not latchkey if you have two older siblings holding down the fort with you. If I give my adolescent a key, that's called them being a person with a home. If my 10 year old is with my 14 year old, that's having a babysitter. I also don't see how much trouble they could get into before 3pm, particularly with 2 other siblings. Is the saying, three people can only keep a secret if two of them are dead? Plus mom could video chat with them a couple of times a day to make sure they are where they are supposed to be if needed.

I am sure they could get out and about as desired during the school day on bikes, busses, trains, foot and rides from friends' moms. Also, while we do some home school activities, the vast majority of my kids' extracurriculars take place after 3pm and on weekends.

Preteens and adolescents are certainly treated differently these days than when I was growning up.