Heather, I feel for you, and I understand your position.
Here's the tack I took with my SIL, when she told DH and me that she and my brother were planning to circumcise:
The first thing you need to research is pain relief. Many doctors don't use any pain relief at all, or don't wait long enough for it to take effect. A baby should have a topical anesthetic, usually EMLA cream, at least 20 minutes before a dorsal penile nerve black, which is injected into the penis. The EMLA cream keeps the shot from hurting so much. The nerve block will reduce the pain, but not eliminate it - and that needs time to take effect too. Make sure you stay with your baby, to make sure they actually use anesthetic, and that they give it enough time to work.
Talk to the doctor about which method he/she will use, and why. The aftercare is different, depending on the method.
After the operation, watch out for bleeding! Babies can only tolerate a very small amount of blood loss, and there are a lot of blood vessels in the penis. Disposable diapers can absorb a LOT of liquid, so sometimes it's hard to tell just how much blood there is. Babies have bled to death in just a few hours following circumcision.
If there is no bleeding, watch closely for the next few days for infection. Circumcision leaves an open wound, and then we wrap it in a diaper - infection is not uncommon.
Adhesions are the most common complication of circumcision - that's where the remaining foreskin tries to reattach to the glans. Most adhesions will release on their own by the time a boy reaches puberty; if they cause pain, they might need to be separated surgically. Lots of doctors and nurses will tear adhesions apart in the doctor's office - don't let them do this! It creates additional bleeding and scar tissue, and hurts like the dickens.
When Junior starts potty training, watch his urine stream closely. Between 10 and 20% of circumcised boys develop meatal stenosis, which is a narrowing of the urethra. Sometimes surgery is required to enlarge the opening.
As your son gets older, he may find that he doesn't have enough foreskin to accomodate an erection. Baby penises don't come with a dotted line saying "Cut Here". It's impossible for a doctor to know how much foreskin to leave, and sometimes they cut too much. Foreskin Restoration is the manual stretching of the remaining foreskin. There is not really a surgical way to make this better.
Speaking of how much to cut: because so many men experienced problems with too much foreskin being cut off, lots of doctors now are performing a "loose" circumcision, where a lot more foreskin is left for the boy to grow into. He might not even look circumcised to you.
If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask.
I'm sure someone out there feels this way, but I doubt it's the majority.
