Aspergers- when and what made you suspect?

[babygrace]

I would really appreciate input from mothers who have BTDT. What behaviors made you think about aspergers, when did they manifest? How did the actual diagnosis come about? Thank in advance for your response!

[Linda on the move]

My DDs developmental issues became worisome around her 2nd birthday. She wasn't dx'ed with Aspergers until she was 13. She had a variety of labels in between then, including PDD-NOS. Her Asperger's dx came about from a complete neuro-psch eval with a dr with a steller reputation. She most likely could have been dx'ed a little younger, but honestly, not that much younger.

The traits that she showed *could* have been outgrown, or changed slightly as she got older. That those traits became more extreme during puberty is part of the reason for her dx. Part of what made her dx very clear at this point was her IQ testing. Her ability to comply with the testing is soooo much greater than when she was younger, so a lot more could be learned from it.

But when I first started checking into her developmental issues, I'd never even heard of Aspergers.

[KimPM]

My DS has always had extreme sensory issues. However, I've known that SPD can either stand alone or go with other diagnoses. We just recently had DS evaluated because of social and emotional issues that he is just not outgrowing. He is a talkative child, so I knew straight-up autism wasn't the problem. But I suspected he was on the spectrum because of oddities in the way he communicates and how he can't really read others' emotions. Generally he seems to ignore their faces or not be able to read faces at all. There is often no reciprocity in his communication, and he has no clue how to start communication if he's even interested in doing so in the first place. His communication and interaction with peers is typically unusual. He talks to adults fairly easily, but it's often a monologue of what he knows about a topic interesting to him. Quite often, he just repeats what he's heard. He also has restricted and deep interests, as well as some subtle repetitive movements. Otherwise he's a bright child. We've had comments and questions from both adults and children (and "looks" from adults) indicating they acknowledge something is odd about his communication, but they just don't know what. I've also seen other adults that don't notice anything odd about him. (Personally, I don't think those people are paying enough attention to him to be able to notice.)

It was all so very subtle, it took a center that specializes in the autism spectrum to be able to see the subtleties and diagnose him. If there is a well-known center for autism in your area, you could consider an evaluation.

[SilverLace]

I knew the day I met my stepson.

My DH and I had been dating for almost a year (we were really careful with introducing our kids). I knew my DH had some struggles with parenting, but I thought it was attributable to a painful divorce (that came with a school change and a both his parents relocating).

Anyway, I could tell by his posture, his word choice, his vocalizations. He could parallel play with my DD, but he should've outgrown that by then. He imaginary play was also really rigid and he wasn't open to her ideas in his play.

It was two years before he had a official diagnosis.

I think it is harder when you are with them from the beginning, and when you don't have any other kids to compare to.

My DH and his ex had been advised more than once to get an evaluation (which, sadly, they didn't) so I suspect that he could've been diagnosed by first grade.

The neuro-psych evaluation was the most helpful thing for us diagnostically.

Good luck

[KimPM]

Originally Posted by SilverLace

He could parallel play with my DD, but he should've outgrown that by then. He imaginary play was also really rigid and he wasn't open to her ideas in his play.

and

Originally Posted by SilverLace

I think it is harder when you are with them from the beginning, and when you don't have any other kids to compare to.

[babygrace]

Thank you all so much for responding.

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

The traits that she showed *could* have been outgrown, or changed slightly as she got older. That those traits became more extreme during puberty is part of the reason for her dx.

If you don't mind, could you please share some specific traits.

Originally Posted by SilverLace

I knew the day I met my stepson.
Anyway, I could tell by his posture, his word choice, his vocalizations.

How was his posture? How did his vocalizations and word choice differ from the norm? I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

Children, especially the younger ones, exhibit such varied behavior, it's hard to know what to look for, which is why I hope you all can share descriptive instances of specific behaviors and age of manifestation. Thanks once again.

[confustication]

If I had been more open to it, I would have noticed when she was just under two. Hyperlexia, delayed gross motor skills, excessive hand-flapping, instead of the inability to recognize facial expression, she was able to do that very early on- at least the pictures, but she didn't really apply that to daily interaction, every time we went to the playground, she scared other kids- "Mom, this is my new best friend!' great, but she never learned their names or anything about them, and she needed them to play by her ruled and games surrounding her interests...

When she started preschool, it became very apparent that she was not neurotypical. Transitions were overwhelmingly hard she was terribly rigid, the hand flapping was worse than ever, she did not eat most food- and was very rigid about what she did eat. She was reading well at this point though, and could *seem* appropriate in terms of social nteraction- just a little quirky.

At this point, a preschool child find screening absolutely missed that there was anything going on. She is 2E, and her giftedness masks some of the challenges.

As she started school, she began to develop panic attacks about being in classes, but the school was unwilling to accommodate her as she was never in danger of falling behind and in fact, was quite advanced. She began to pretend that she was unable to identify numbers or letters until they were 'taught' them in class. A child who was reading before she was three, was suddenly bound by the concept that no one had taught this properly, so she must not know it. Kindergarten wasn't too bad, but progressing to first grade was terrible. The school picked food battles and she began vomiting every Sunday night because she was so afraid of having to conform to the rules at school. She took it personally whenever any child in her class got in trouble- internalizing it as though she had been the one in trouble, herself. She preferred to peer with younger children, and did not understand the nuances of playground social structure.

After this year we decided to home school, which is working well- she started in on grade three following grade one, and was much more engaged in learning as opposed to being trapped within her rigid interpretations of the rules and worrying instead of learning. She is eight now, and doing grade 5/6 work most of the time. She still has huge anxiety if she knows she is being tested/evaluated so most of her school progress is tracked without tests or quizzes. We simply work together to discuss material and apply it.

She has no concept that her interests are not shared by everyone and will go on for hours/days/weeks about the subject of interest to her dragons, pokemon, very specific science facts and animal facts... she is oblivious to the fact that not everyone shares the same level of interest. She does pretty well most of the time now, though she has meltdowns more often than many kids her age, and food/texture sensitivity is a pretty big issue. We have shaped her world into a safe space for her and as she grows, we introduce more social skills and boundaries. Pushing this too fast, however, leads her to escape to the confines and comfortable spaces of her own mind.

[KimPM]

Originally Posted by babygrace

Children, especially the younger ones, exhibit such varied behavior, it's hard to know what to look for, which is why I hope you all can share descriptive instances of specific behaviors and age of manifestation. Thanks once again.

Do you have specific concerns about your LO's issues or behaviors?

[beachcomber]

My 4 y.o. DD has an Autism diagnosis but they refused to elaborate on whether it's PPD-NOS or Aspie. She has traits for both and according to the experts, they're getting rid of the specific labelsl at the high functioning end of the spectrum because the treatments are all the same anyway.

So ... my DD and my suspicionss. I'd say it really started when she didn't walk until 18 mos. Didn't crawl or roll over, either. Has always frozen up when we went for play dates, baby groups or to the park. Absolutely unable to interact with other kids until this year and getting some therapy around that. Poor gross motor and fine motor showed up in preschool. She wasn't able to do things her age peers could like stringing beads, using scissors, pencil grip, running, hopping and jumping. She avoided big equipment due to low muscle tone. Vocally, she talks well and has a huge repertoire of words but mispronounces them regularly and has odd habits of asking questions and assuming people know what she's talking about when they don't. She can be hard to understand and she echoes what people say or what she sees on TV word for word. Then there are the light, sound and smell sensitivities and the taste under-sensitivities (she eats baking soda by the spoonful if we let her). We started the assessment process when she was just 4 and it took nearly a year to get through it and be given a label.

[Kristine233]

I realized when he was a baby that he was different. Mostly sensory related stuff, rocking,his ability to just sit and stare and refusal to play with toys like my other kids. Then as a toddler he sorted everything and was obsessed with vehicles and lining them up. He toe-walked, was extremely clumsy, talked in a really low monotone voice (his gus-gus voice), the sensory and stimming were very prevalent. His social development with peers was very abnormal as well. He has both a Aspie dx and an Autism dx, the only difference between them was where they placed his language development. He walks the line between the 2 depending on who does the testing.

[babygrace]

Originally Posted by KimPM

Do you have specific concerns about your LO's issues or behaviors?

I have not checked back on this thread for a while, so I could not respond earlier.

Since this pertains to my SIL's child, I am not comfortable posting about the behaviors online....I feel as if that crosses the privacy line. The child is in my care 3 days a week while she is working. My attempt is to know IF there is something to be concerned about before broaching the topic with my SIL, it's such a sensitive matter for sure.

Thanks, all who responded!

[Emmeline II]

I'm not sure that I considered it until the OT that evaluated my son brought it up; it did explain the some things that SPD and ADHD did not.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by babygrace

The child is in my care 3 days a week while she is working. My attempt is to know IF there is something to be concerned about before broaching the topic with my SIL, it's such a sensitive matter for sure.

Asperger's isn't usually dx'ed in children under about 6 because ALL the traits of Asperger's occur in typically developing preschool aged children to some degree.

An excellent book you might find helpful is Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In-- when to Worry and and When Not to Worry by Klass and Costello. It's an awesome book. If you read it and still have concerns, it would make a good gift to the child's mother.

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

An excellent book you might find helpful is Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In-- when to Worry and and When Not to Worry by Klass and Costello. It's an awesome book. If you read it and still have concerns, it would make a good gift to the child's mother.

I found that book very useful. Our son shows some traits of Asperger's, but he's not on the spectrum. He's got sensory issues and his social development is somewhat delayed, but he does eventually get it. At 5, however, I couldn't tell. He had a hard time identifying emotions in others, he had sensory issues, he had a few things that looked like stims, he had obsessions. He could easily have had Asperger's.

It wasn't really until he was 7-8 and had learned some social skills and demonstrated a decent ability to take other people's perspective that it was clear he didn't. His play is able to accommodate others. He still needs a bit of help with social stuff, and he's got some 'tics' (stims?). So I feel like we're close to the spectrum, but on it. That's why that book was helpful.

[Petie1104]

We never suspected any ASD. We knew SOMETHING was wrong, we just didn't know what.

As an infant, she couldn't be rocked to sleep. We had to literally put her in a crib, turn off the lights, and walk out. Then she would put herself to sleep. She is the only child of ours that didn't co-sleep. This is from day 1.

She developed extremely quickly with her fine and gross motor skills, but her ability to handle any kind of change in routine or disappointment was extreme. She became violent whenever anything went in a way that it wasn't supposed to.

She was completely drawn in by interesting textures. We were in a theater and a lady in front of us had those really thin braids, dd kept petting her braids and I couldn't stop her. Redirecting didn't work, correcting didn't work, (she was 3 at the time), finally we had to move seats. She was also drawn in by colors, sounds, and smells. So, we found her sniffing people, chasing a girl with beads that kept clacking in her hair, and staring at pictures or toys for extremely long periods of time (10 minutes standing in front of one puzzle at Toys R Us she was 3 at that time too).

Clothing became a major meltdown issue. If it was too itchy, too hot, not hot enough, too clingly, too loose, too anything then complete and total meltdown would occur.

She chronically masterbated. Took us forever to teach her to take it to the bathroom and led to some very uncomfortable discussions at the playground.

So, we took her to one psych who completely misdiagnosed her, looking at only her reactions, not her triggers and had her on meds for bipolar (3 1/2 at this time). Then said, oops maybe it's ADHD and ODD. Nope. So we switched psychs and found one that sent her to a pediatric testing center that focused on dx'ing childhood disorders. Asperger's was their final conclusion, but she has some a-typical issues with it, so they know something else is going on, they are just not sure what yet, and want her to have time to mature some before adding any other dx'es.

[littlest birds]

As soon as I heard of Asperger's, I knew. We'd been wondering a while if he had ADD or something. He was 5yo. He later received a formal dx.

He had major issues with eye contact, very low response to what people said to him, lined up toys, obsessed over wheels and vehicles, memorized and repeated passages from videos, repeated songs over and over, hyperlexia (obsessed with letters and numbers since before he could walk--knew alphabet at 2yo; later he adored phonics rules, etc), awkward gait, clumsy--walked into things often, ;acled sense of danger due to not picturing outcomes, misc. sensory hypersensitivities to noise and touch and clothing, stimming--such as rubbing his body on furniture, walls, mouthing things, etc. obsessively limited food choices, poor play interactions, difficulty getting results he wanted through communication even when he had plenty of vocabulary, generally treated people like objects.

I notice another mom mentioned poor gross motor skills. Our experience is a little different and I thought you should know that can vary. My ds stood early and walked by 10mos (long before his twin sister) and had strong gross motor skills overall and was not late with any milestones. He is physically very bold but often get injured due to clumsiness. He has weaker fine motor skills--pencil grip was difficult, he has trouble with silverware, tends to break and damage things a lot, handwriting is extremely meticulous but extremely slow.

[thornrose]

Originally Posted by Petie1104

We never suspected any ASD. We knew SOMETHING was wrong, we just didn't know what.

As an infant, she couldn't be rocked to sleep. We had to literally put her in a crib, turn off the lights, and walk out. Then she would put herself to sleep. She is the only child of ours that didn't co-sleep. This is from day 1.

She developed extremely quickly with her fine and gross motor skills, but her ability to handle any kind of change in routine or disappointment was extreme. She became violent whenever anything went in a way that it wasn't supposed to.

She was completely drawn in by interesting textures. We were in a theater and a lady in front of us had those really thin braids, dd kept petting her braids and I couldn't stop her. Redirecting didn't work, correcting didn't work, (she was 3 at the time), finally we had to move seats. She was also drawn in by colors, sounds, and smells. So, we found her sniffing people, chasing a girl with beads that kept clacking in her hair, and staring at pictures or toys for extremely long periods of time (10 minutes standing in front of one puzzle at Toys R Us she was 3 at that time too).

Clothing became a major meltdown issue. If it was too itchy, too hot, not hot enough, too clingly, too loose, too anything then complete and total meltdown would occur.

She chronically masterbated. Took us forever to teach her to take it to the bathroom and led to some very uncomfortable discussions at the playground.

So, we took her to one psych who completely misdiagnosed her, looking at only her reactions, not her triggers and had her on meds for bipolar (3 1/2 at this time). Then said, oops maybe it's ADHD and ODD. Nope. So we switched psychs and found one that sent her to a pediatric testing center that focused on dx'ing childhood disorders. Asperger's was their final conclusion, but she has some a-typical issues with it, so they know something else is going on, they are just not sure what yet, and want her to have time to mature some before adding any other dx'es.

I never considered that my kids were on the autism spectrum or had Aspergers until my ex figured out that he was an Aspie about a year & a half ago. (he doesn't have an official diagnosis but exhibits all the major traits and has 7 cousins that have been officially dx'ed.)

My kids are 12, 10, 8, 3, and 10 months. I always knew my kids weren't typical (then again nether am I) and just accepted it ~ I don't parent in a typical/mainstream way so it didn't matter. All my kids have sensory issue my 8 year old being the worst. He goes through phases ~ has to have long sleeves with cuffs, or then short sleeves no cuffs, shirts have to have collars then they don't. He used to freak out at bedtime if he had any "fuzzy" blankets touching him, not he wants fuzzy blankets.

We homeschool and they all love to have everything scheduled and planned out for them. They want worksheets, and assignments with deadlines. The older ones all get obsessive about certain subjects and then talk a mile a minute about nothing else. if they think something is boring they don't pay any attention to it at all. Both my boys are extremely literal. They believe everything that they hear and half my time is taken up trying to explain "sayings" or how so & so said this but didn't mean it like that, etc...

My 10 year old will still will try to masturbate if he thinks no one is watching him. Thankfully he doesn't try that outside of the house.