Wasn't sure where to put this. Ignore mistakes, I didn't proofread.
I don't know you people, but I need to put this somewhere. My only friend of 5 years was hardly supportive, all he could say was "Aaaww" and "Bummer" to me. I'm sure he didn't really know what to say, but with as stressed as I am right now it just felt so uncaring. Pretty sad as is that I have no one I can confide in with my issues; I have no family, and only 1 friend.
Before I ever met my hubby he was in credit card debt, but I didn't care because I cared for him so much. After a couple years of being and living with each other I got pregnant; him still paying off debt. I tried to get a job, but no one would hire me, even before pregnant, so that I could help him out. Helping him would have helped me as well, more luxuries I guess, as greedy as that sounds; things for our soon to be son, ect...
Well to go backwards a bit, his mom was having a really hard time, and despite me being against the idea and saying so, we ended up moving somewhere else just to accommodate his mom in need. This place is more expensive but she was going to help pay bills. Long story short she skedaddled pretty quick when she found a nice setup for herself, calling this place a piece of shit(and us too, after putting a roof over her head). She has always been a pretty wicked woman though. ._.
So upon finding out I was pregnant I suggested we turn off our internet and cable so we can accumulate some extra cash for things we'd need. We did so, and for the entire duration of my pregnancy sat in the house(I didn't have a car) and watch movies, sleep, or stare at a wall. I couldn't go anywhere because we live in the middle of nowhere with no bus route. Uhg.
Well I had our son, and maybe a month 1/2 to 2 moths after his birth we got that stuff turned back on. I felt like I was going insane with nothing to do, nothing stimulating around me. My hubby works a 6 day week, so there was only 1 day he had time to take me anywhere(again I didn't have a car). During pregnancy I was too tired, and after pregnancy I was too tired. It was like... I wanted to go somewhere so bad, because I felt so caged up, yet when I had the opportunity... IDK, it's like I flaked, lost social skills, was becoming an introvert and seriously depressed.
Well, an opportunity came up where I could get a car pretty much free of charge(we couldn't seriously afford even a used one), and I pretty much melted. This felt like the first time in my life that something amazing happened to me. This kind of stuff just doesn't happen... it was a miracle. This is just what I needed, a car, so I could get places, go do things.
WELL that crashed very quickly. Coincidentally my hubby's car broke down as the title was getting processed with the new one. Also coincidentally, this time out of how many times his car has needed fixed, they couldn't seem to find the right part. - Well by sheer luck he found this part at a salvage yard, bought it, and then coincidentally the shops mechanic quit so the owner needed to find a new one. He found a new one, and he was lazy, not even fixing the car. - Well this has been going on for a good 4/5 months now and I'm just fed up. I kept pushing the subject, because it just felt so... awkward. He said he called other shops but they wouldn't be able to take a look at it for another 2 months. Well after some more pushing he said, "I can ask a friend". .......... I shouldn't be mad... but I am. While I'm here feeling stranded and stressed, you could have quite possibly had this fixed sooner. Well he gets the car toed to this friends house, who looks at it, and says he needs a new part(one ranging from $145-$200), money we don't really have, but this friend apparently, generously said he would buy the part and then my hubby could make payments on it to pay him back. Fine, whatever... fine with me. I just his car fixed so I can have mine.
Well that is what is currently going on, the car.
Just today he got a letter in the mail saying that he has 30 days to pay off his credit card debt or they're going to appoint him an attorney. I have never been through this stuff, I don't know where to seek help. Dangit, I am only 20 years old. I asked him what would happen and he said they'll like start garnishing his checks. - I have already been through so much emotional stress, feeling abandoned if you will, and locked away for nearly an ENTIRE YEAR, actually, tack a few months on top of it too. My son is 1 on the 9th of next month.
My mind quickly thinks,
"Well if that happens, we wont be able to afford diapers and diaper wipes"
"We wont be able to buy him new clothes for the winter, or celebrate his 1st B-day".
Despite the stress that was brought from not having internet or cable... I could endure it again, if it meant I could afford these things for my son. - But even if I had a car this time, I couldn't use it... where we get money for gas? for both cars? provided my hubby's finally gets fixed.
*rubs forehead*
I have nowhere to go if things start going downhill from here. If we cant afford things for our son... then I fear the state will take him away. I have suffered here with very little, raising him, buying him an assortment of toys when we have the money. I think we've built up quite the collection so far. - My friend gave me $50 on my birthday, I spent that on my son. It's just sad... living this way. -- It's my own fault. I should have tried harder to get a job and help. ... That or maybe I am one of those people that shouldn't have even breed.
If possible, if my hubby's car does get fixed, I swear by it that I'll try harder. I will find someone to watch my son so I can go to work and help. - I am so against letting people watch him, but if it was between that or possibly loosing everything, than I would choose to just let someone watch him while I bust tables, OR SOMETHING.
I don't know you people, but I need to put this somewhere. My only friend of 5 years was hardly supportive, all he could say was "Aaaww" and "Bummer" to me. I'm sure he didn't really know what to say, but with as stressed as I am right now it just felt so uncaring. Pretty sad as is that I have no one I can confide in with my issues; I have no family, and only 1 friend.
Before I ever met my hubby he was in credit card debt, but I didn't care because I cared for him so much. After a couple years of being and living with each other I got pregnant; him still paying off debt. I tried to get a job, but no one would hire me, even before pregnant, so that I could help him out. Helping him would have helped me as well, more luxuries I guess, as greedy as that sounds; things for our soon to be son, ect...
Well to go backwards a bit, his mom was having a really hard time, and despite me being against the idea and saying so, we ended up moving somewhere else just to accommodate his mom in need. This place is more expensive but she was going to help pay bills. Long story short she skedaddled pretty quick when she found a nice setup for herself, calling this place a piece of shit(and us too, after putting a roof over her head). She has always been a pretty wicked woman though. ._.
So upon finding out I was pregnant I suggested we turn off our internet and cable so we can accumulate some extra cash for things we'd need. We did so, and for the entire duration of my pregnancy sat in the house(I didn't have a car) and watch movies, sleep, or stare at a wall. I couldn't go anywhere because we live in the middle of nowhere with no bus route. Uhg.
Well I had our son, and maybe a month 1/2 to 2 moths after his birth we got that stuff turned back on. I felt like I was going insane with nothing to do, nothing stimulating around me. My hubby works a 6 day week, so there was only 1 day he had time to take me anywhere(again I didn't have a car). During pregnancy I was too tired, and after pregnancy I was too tired. It was like... I wanted to go somewhere so bad, because I felt so caged up, yet when I had the opportunity... IDK, it's like I flaked, lost social skills, was becoming an introvert and seriously depressed.
Well, an opportunity came up where I could get a car pretty much free of charge(we couldn't seriously afford even a used one), and I pretty much melted. This felt like the first time in my life that something amazing happened to me. This kind of stuff just doesn't happen... it was a miracle. This is just what I needed, a car, so I could get places, go do things.
WELL that crashed very quickly. Coincidentally my hubby's car broke down as the title was getting processed with the new one. Also coincidentally, this time out of how many times his car has needed fixed, they couldn't seem to find the right part. - Well by sheer luck he found this part at a salvage yard, bought it, and then coincidentally the shops mechanic quit so the owner needed to find a new one. He found a new one, and he was lazy, not even fixing the car. - Well this has been going on for a good 4/5 months now and I'm just fed up. I kept pushing the subject, because it just felt so... awkward. He said he called other shops but they wouldn't be able to take a look at it for another 2 months. Well after some more pushing he said, "I can ask a friend". .......... I shouldn't be mad... but I am. While I'm here feeling stranded and stressed, you could have quite possibly had this fixed sooner. Well he gets the car toed to this friends house, who looks at it, and says he needs a new part(one ranging from $145-$200), money we don't really have, but this friend apparently, generously said he would buy the part and then my hubby could make payments on it to pay him back. Fine, whatever... fine with me. I just his car fixed so I can have mine.
Well that is what is currently going on, the car.
Just today he got a letter in the mail saying that he has 30 days to pay off his credit card debt or they're going to appoint him an attorney. I have never been through this stuff, I don't know where to seek help. Dangit, I am only 20 years old. I asked him what would happen and he said they'll like start garnishing his checks. - I have already been through so much emotional stress, feeling abandoned if you will, and locked away for nearly an ENTIRE YEAR, actually, tack a few months on top of it too. My son is 1 on the 9th of next month.
My mind quickly thinks,
"Well if that happens, we wont be able to afford diapers and diaper wipes"
"We wont be able to buy him new clothes for the winter, or celebrate his 1st B-day".
Despite the stress that was brought from not having internet or cable... I could endure it again, if it meant I could afford these things for my son. - But even if I had a car this time, I couldn't use it... where we get money for gas? for both cars? provided my hubby's finally gets fixed.
*rubs forehead*
I have nowhere to go if things start going downhill from here. If we cant afford things for our son... then I fear the state will take him away. I have suffered here with very little, raising him, buying him an assortment of toys when we have the money. I think we've built up quite the collection so far. - My friend gave me $50 on my birthday, I spent that on my son. It's just sad... living this way. -- It's my own fault. I should have tried harder to get a job and help. ... That or maybe I am one of those people that shouldn't have even breed.
If possible, if my hubby's car does get fixed, I swear by it that I'll try harder. I will find someone to watch my son so I can go to work and help. - I am so against letting people watch him, but if it was between that or possibly loosing everything, than I would choose to just let someone watch him while I bust tables, OR SOMETHING.
s It sounds like you are feeling very stifled and trapped. Things will get better. Post in the Finding your tribe area and see if there are other moms in the area you can meet up with (maybe they have a car and can come out to see you.)
