Divorce - Ontario

[Ceinwen]

So, my ex and I separated (w/ a legal separation agreement) two years ago this coming March.

I'm ready to go ahead and file for divorce. Our separation agreement stipulates that the divorce agreement will be the same as the separation.

From my understanding, the process should work something like this: I file (w/my lawyer), my ex has 30 days to respond. If he doesn't, a judgement will be entered (not for or against anyone per say) if he does and he agrees, the motion will move forward. If he doesn't agree, but replies - then I have ten days to reply and we go from there.

Does that sound about right? Our separation cost me about $2500 (of which I paid all fees, because my ex didn't retain a lawyer) Most sites I'm reading on say that I should plan to spend around $8500-$10000 on a divorce (w/out any disagreements) - does that sound about right?

I don't care about the money one way or the other, I'm actually at the point where I'm not afraid of my ex anymore. It's been almost two years. I let him know I was filing, and he pitched a pretty big fit. He's very unhappy that I'm planning on getting remarried (he's guessing - I've said no such thing) and that I'm happy in general.

So. That's where I'm at. I'm contacting my lawyer tomorrow. There are several things from the separation agreement that I'm looking to change (primarily ROFR - which he has never once exercised. I'm done with him holding that over my head as a threat - I'm having it taken out)

Anything else I should consider moving forward? TIA.

[Everrgreen]

Holy crap! Seriously?? If you are keeping the divorce agreement basically the same as the separation than why would it cost so much? Yikes! I am never going to be able to get divorced if it costs that much. I just can't believe that's right!

Sorry I realize this is no help for you at all, I'm just shocked at such a high number.

[RainbowTurtle]

What's throwing me off is that the divorce agreement must match the separation one. I'm assuming you'll need a new separation agreement before you can file for divorce. Once you have that agreement, your timelines sound correct.

I haven't done it yet, but if you're not changing your separation agreement and file yourself, including the two trips to the courthouse, it's under $1500. If I remember correctly, my lawyer was going to charge me $2000 to file for divorce (no modifications to the agreement).

[MsChatsAlot]

A non-contested divorce should only cost about $2000-$3000.

I hope it all goes well.

[mama_ani]

My stbx and I filed the first part of our joint divorce together on October 1st. No lawyers. $165 for the initial paperwork, when that is processed it is $280 and then we're done.
We had a separation agreement that we had drafted ourselves (no lawyers) and just included it in the divorce.
Thank God he is co-operating or I'd never be able to afford to get divorced if I had to go the lawyer route.

[GranoLLLy-girl]

Originally Posted by mama_ani

My stbx and I filed the first part of our joint divorce together on October 1st. No lawyers. $165 for the initial paperwork, when that is processed it is $280 and then we're done.
We had a separation agreement that we had drafted ourselves (no lawyers) and just included it in the divorce.
Thank God he is co-operating or I'd never be able to afford to get divorced if I had to go the lawyer route.

This is about what I am paying. That is for an UNCONTESTED divorce in Virginia.

[Ceinwen]

Well, hopefully it's much less than I'm anticipating.

Is that how it works though - I file, he has thirty days to reply - we go from there?

I'd rather talk to him first, work it out (any changes) and have him aware, but he's mad at me and said he doesn't care.

I should file for sole custody and see how much he 'doesn't care' then.

Sorry, that was bad.

He frustrates me. I'd like to be civil, I'm paying for it, not springing any surprises, and he's being very difficult.

[nutritionistmom]

My divorce in Ontario cost me $10 000 AFTER 18 months of agony about custody and child support. The actual divorce was only a fraction of that. We did not have a separation agreement. You are correct in that once the motion is filed it takes 30 days to complete as long as it goes uncontested - longest 30 days of my life.

[Ceinwen]

I'm stressed. He still won't answer my calls/emails. I realize he needs time to process this (even though we've been separated for almost two years?) and I called his mom to make sure he was okay physically (he is)...

I see my lawyer today. I guess I'll go ahead and file whatever I want, then I can wait 30 days and stress the whole time about how it's going to turn out.

In a fit of anger (I really was mad) I emailed him and told him he couldn't have the kids this weekend unless he got back to me. Sigh. We always talk at least a couple of times a week (about the kids) and I told him that as far as I knew he could have fallen off the face of the earth and I wasn't driving all the way to his place until I knew he was going to be there...

Mature? No. I do realize that. And in all likelihood I'll end up driving them there Friday night anyway, but I am so frustrated by his behaviour right now.

If I'm going to go ahead and ask for whatever I want in the divorce, any tips? My lawyer said the separation agreement will make the drafting easier, but I don't need to stick to it.

[Everrgreen]

There is this huge thread on what to include in an agreement. If you have the time to go through it there are tons of good tips there.