sex after birth -- is it better for you than before? - Page 3
At first it got worse because my ex demanded things his way and was not open to changing the routine to include things that brought me pleasure too. He was also always very rough and I think that I wasn't quite as deep as I used to be or something because it hurt more and he just wouldn't understand that.
Now with a partner who is invested in my pleasure plus the confidence of maturity, it's the best ever!
(I had two vaginal births in my 20s and I'm mid-30s now.)
HOwever, my last birth was an emergency csec and it did have a negative effect on my pleasure. Well, it took a year before I was even willing to have sex (PTSD), and at first it was painful, actually in my scar, with penetration. I have been single for years now (so I haven't have sex with anyone else ) so I have no idea if that is different. I do know that with my self-induced pleasure I seem to have returned to my pre-csec abilities to have incredibly great O's when I want to. Besides physical healing, I think I've also healed emotionally in ways that have positively affected my sexuality. Perhaps one day I will have a partner again and will discover whether I've also healed from the pain in my scar that occurred during the early times after returning to intercourse a year after my csec...it could happen!
After the first, there was some tenderness for a while...I had several small tears requiring one or two stitches each. After that healed, things actually went downhill with my h as our marriage fell apart. With my next couple of partners, after he left me, things felt great, and I was more willing to try new things.
After birth two, I was almost completely anorgasmic for a year and a half. Damage from a weird birth? Emotional damage? A really terrible second marriage? All of the above?
After the third birth, orgasm was much harder to acheive, but so much more worth it! Sex still wasn't great with my husband, who became increasingly abusive, until I left him. With the couple of partners since, things have been freakin incredible. Orgasm is still harder to achieve than pre-babies, but much more powerful. I'm far more adventurous than before kids, which is partly to do with age, and partly because I now know that my vagina can do awesome things
FWIW, none of my partners have ever noticed a difference in my vagina, whether comparing before and after my first birth or before and after subsequent births, except in the immediate pp period.
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My theory is that "society" tells us sex will be worse after a vaginal birth. (in terms of both pleasure and frequency.) But at least for me, while babies aren't very good for sexual frequency , vaginal sex is both more comfortable and more pleasurable since I gave birth. (Once I was well healed, of course.)
Much better. Not only is my G-spot lower and gets better stimulation, my orgasms are longer, better, and easier to have.
I also feel sexier, even though I have some stretch marks, I feel more self-confident after having a child.
Oh, and I don't do Kegels much (ok, never,lol), so I Know I don't feel the same as before, but dh is fine with that, no complaints!
I feel envious of all you ladies!
Since the birth of DS (13 month old), DH and I..have yet to DTD. We've tried several times, and it has been incredibly painful for me. I had 3 degree tearing, and was stitched up, so I don't know if that's the cause or what. DTD was never really comfortable beforehand, and now it's just unbearable.
The experience of giving birth has gotten me thinking a lot more about the relationship between vaginal birth and vaginal intercourse. I'm a sex educator by profession (although mostly my work is about teaching healthy sexuality to college students).
My theory is that "society" tells us sex will be worse after a vaginal birth. (in terms of both pleasure and frequency.) But at least for me, while babies aren't very good for sexual frequency
, vaginal sex is both more comfortable and more pleasurable since I gave birth. (Once I was well healed, of course.)
I think it's really interesting if this is one more area where there's "good news" about women's bodies, women's relationships with their partners, and vaginal birth, yet all the media tells us is bad and scary news.
Are there others who would agree that for them, intercourse became more pleasurable after having given birth vaginally? Or am I the only one?
Edited by Zedzedzedzed - 1/28/13 at 2:18am
Yes, better, but I don't think that had anything to do with the births, except maybe in a bonding experience sort of way. I think it's more age (experience, maybe hormones too, increasing comfort and familiarity over the years, that sort of thing.) The births certainly didn't have a negative effect. This topic always makes me think of the theory that men are turned off (permanently) by seeing their babies born, some psychological thing. Definitely not true for my husband and me!