sex after birth -- is it better for you than before? - Page 3

[justKate]

journeymom is on to something. For me, it was the fact that DH finds me more (or at least equally) attractive after everything he saw/did for me that makes us more bonded, and consequently more intimate.

[Juvysen]

Dh couldn't keep his hands off me after I gave birth to our oldest... apparently he was quite impressed. That probably had something to do with it...

[nomadsindiansaints]

Originally Posted by sparklefairy

At first it got worse because my ex demanded things his way and was not open to changing the routine to include things that brought me pleasure too. He was also always very rough and I think that I wasn't quite as deep as I used to be or something because it hurt more and he just wouldn't understand that.

Now with a partner who is invested in my pleasure plus the confidence of maturity, it's the best ever!

(I had two vaginal births in my 20s and I'm mid-30s now.)

Yup.

[MsBlack]

definitely better...and better and better following my 5 natural homebirths. One thing that was a great surprise was that my nipples/breasts became SO much more erotically available (before BF, I just didn't have much sensation one way or the other)--to the point that nipple stim alone has sometimes brought the Big O for me. Wonderful. Actual intercourse and all else also just got better and better.

HOwever, my last birth was an emergency csec and it did have a negative effect on my pleasure. Well, it took a year before I was even willing to have sex (PTSD), and at first it was painful, actually in my scar, with penetration. I have been single for years now (so I haven't have sex with anyone else ) so I have no idea if that is different. I do know that with my self-induced pleasure I seem to have returned to my pre-csec abilities to have incredibly great O's when I want to. Besides physical healing, I think I've also healed emotionally in ways that have positively affected my sexuality. Perhaps one day I will have a partner again and will discover whether I've also healed from the pain in my scar that occurred during the early times after returning to intercourse a year after my csec...it could happen!

[babyjelly]

Different.
After the first, there was some tenderness for a while...I had several small tears requiring one or two stitches each. After that healed, things actually went downhill with my h as our marriage fell apart. With my next couple of partners, after he left me, things felt great, and I was more willing to try new things.
After birth two, I was almost completely anorgasmic for a year and a half. Damage from a weird birth? Emotional damage? A really terrible second marriage? All of the above?
After the third birth, orgasm was much harder to acheive, but so much more worth it! Sex still wasn't great with my husband, who became increasingly abusive, until I left him. With the couple of partners since, things have been freakin incredible. Orgasm is still harder to achieve than pre-babies, but much more powerful. I'm far more adventurous than before kids, which is partly to do with age, and partly because I now know that my vagina can do awesome things
FWIW, none of my partners have ever noticed a difference in my vagina, whether comparing before and after my first birth or before and after subsequent births, except in the immediate pp period.
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[Pirogi]

Better. Much better. I tore into my clitoral tissue, which hurt like a beach, and a little into my perineum, but after 7 weeks, I was able to have intercourse again. I didn't get any stitches anywhere. After a few more months, whammo! Orgasms like you wouldn't believe. I don't have orgasms during intercourse, at least not as intense as clitoral ones. But, I began ... er, ejaculating with my clitoral orgasms. Sorry if that's TMI. But yes, I much prefer post-baby sex. Awesome.

[Sharlla]

could just be me being older but when I got with DH (age 29) I finally had a O for the first time. never did all those years of being sexually active with many many different partners.
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[rad]

Sex is pretty much the same as before 5 vaginal births. It was good then and just as good or better now. I think the one thing that's changed is even though we have less time for sex with all the kids, we have gotten better connected emotionally because of going through the process of pg and birth together. I also think I've gotten more comfortable with my body in general and that's helped.

[Brown Lioness]

[Litcrit]

Originally Posted by indigosky

My theory is that "society" tells us sex will be worse after a vaginal birth. (in terms of both pleasure and frequency.) But at least for me, while babies aren't very good for sexual frequency , vaginal sex is both more comfortable and more pleasurable since I gave birth. (Once I was well healed, of course.)

Originally Posted by PPK

Much better. Not only is my G-spot lower and gets better stimulation, my orgasms are longer, better, and easier to have.

I also feel sexier, even though I have some stretch marks, I feel more self-confident after having a child.

Oh, and I don't do Kegels much (ok, never,lol), so I Know I don't feel the same as before, but dh is fine with that, no complaints!

Same here, nothing to add.

[lovepiggie]

Sigh.

I feel envious of all you ladies!

Since the birth of DS (13 month old), DH and I..have yet to DTD. We've tried several times, and it has been incredibly painful for me. I had 3 degree tearing, and was stitched up, so I don't know if that's the cause or what. DTD was never really comfortable beforehand, and now it's just unbearable.

[Smokering]

Yes, but I think it's as much a functioning of our developing relationship as anything.

[Zedzedzedzed]

Originally Posted by indigosky 

The experience of giving birth has gotten me thinking a lot more about the relationship between vaginal birth and vaginal intercourse. I'm a sex educator by profession (although mostly my work is about teaching healthy sexuality to college students).


My theory is that "society" tells us sex will be worse after a vaginal birth. (in terms of both pleasure and frequency.) But at least for me, while babies aren't very good for sexual frequency
, vaginal sex is both more comfortable and more pleasurable since I gave birth. (Once I was well healed, of course.)


I think it's really interesting if this is one more area where there's "good news" about women's bodies, women's relationships with their partners, and vaginal birth, yet all the media tells us is bad and scary news.


Are there others who would agree that for them, intercourse became more pleasurable after having given birth vaginally? Or am I the only one?

[Zedzedzedzed]

After many years of lovely clitoral orgasms I assumed the g spot was a myth or not in an accessible place for me, till I met my OH. G spot orgasms EVERY time we had sex, amazing! But then I got pregnant and haven't had one since. My son is 15months now and I'm 5 months pregnant again, still no sign of them. It's very upsetting, any advice? Has it moved? Where's it likely to have moved to and what can we do to try to reclaim my fab orgasms? Help please!
Edited by Zedzedzedzed - 1/28/13 at 2:18am

[Zedzedzedzed]

G spot, not girls spit! Stoopid auto correct!

[cottonwood]

Yes, better, but I don't think that had anything to do with the births, except maybe in a bonding experience sort of way. I think it's more age (experience, maybe hormones too, increasing comfort and familiarity over the years, that sort of thing.) The births certainly didn't have a negative effect. This topic always makes me think of the theory that men are turned off (permanently) by seeing their babies born, some psychological thing. Definitely not true for my husband and me!
 

[GISDiva]

One birth so far, and yep, better.  :)  I still don't O during penetration, but it feels waaaay more enjoyable.  Fingers crossed that number 2 rearranges the furniture a bit more.