Ugh.
I wish there wasn't such a medical mindset with birth - it's so hard to watch friends who I know and love being led (badgered sometimes) to decisions about their births, which I know they will later regret ....
A friend this fall had planned a natural birth etc. etc., and when she went past due, allowed family/friends/OB to assure her that baby was "too big" and to try induction (no Bishop's score) - ended with a cesarean. It sounds like, for a c/s, it was a very respectful and positive one, but still -- it was the classic cascade of interventions. If they have another child, I don't think they'll let it happen again - unless her dh was too scared (and it sounds like he was during the process).
And today, another friend expecting her first is asking for advice about how to turn a breech baby (three weeks out). I sent her links about the Webster technique, moxibustion, spinningbabies site - and another friend sent her an email telling her about her 8 years as a NICU nurse, the babies who've died from failed versions, and basically to lay down like a good girl and get the c/s, don't mess with all this other dangerous stuff that doesn't work.
I know my friend was planning a natural birth, we've talked about it. If her baby wasn't breech, I feel pretty confident that she would have had a natural birth. She lives in a large metro area, so if she does end up taking her 'expert' friend's advice, she has VBAC possibilities -- but we know how they discourage them. My friend is cautious and a worrier and I know she's hearing all sorts of nightmare scenarios - and my advice even though I sent links and so on, was a layperson crunchy friend not a nurse/doctor, and I'm just certain I know how this is going to end.
I just don't know how we cut through this medical fearmongering and help mothers realize how much the interventions that are so "normal" can backfire. It seems that so often even when there is a friend or two sharing the "Hey, do your research on this," approach, we're 2% of the feedback when they're surrounded by people who are pulling out the dead baby card and waving it around the minute someone even looks for alternatives (like how to get a baby to turn from breech).
Let alone something *really* 'weird' like suggesting that she consider finding an OB or midwife who will consider a vaginal breech delivery ....
I'm pretty sure the first friend if she has another, will make different choices and be able to have a happy natural birth. I'm sure my second friend would have had a natural labor (her family labors quickly and she wanted it) - but if she ends up with a c/s, then she'll probably continue right on along that medicological path for any other births because it's "what she knows."
I wish there wasn't such a medical mindset with birth - it's so hard to watch friends who I know and love being led (badgered sometimes) to decisions about their births, which I know they will later regret ....
A friend this fall had planned a natural birth etc. etc., and when she went past due, allowed family/friends/OB to assure her that baby was "too big" and to try induction (no Bishop's score) - ended with a cesarean. It sounds like, for a c/s, it was a very respectful and positive one, but still -- it was the classic cascade of interventions. If they have another child, I don't think they'll let it happen again - unless her dh was too scared (and it sounds like he was during the process).
And today, another friend expecting her first is asking for advice about how to turn a breech baby (three weeks out). I sent her links about the Webster technique, moxibustion, spinningbabies site - and another friend sent her an email telling her about her 8 years as a NICU nurse, the babies who've died from failed versions, and basically to lay down like a good girl and get the c/s, don't mess with all this other dangerous stuff that doesn't work.
I know my friend was planning a natural birth, we've talked about it. If her baby wasn't breech, I feel pretty confident that she would have had a natural birth. She lives in a large metro area, so if she does end up taking her 'expert' friend's advice, she has VBAC possibilities -- but we know how they discourage them. My friend is cautious and a worrier and I know she's hearing all sorts of nightmare scenarios - and my advice even though I sent links and so on, was a layperson crunchy friend not a nurse/doctor, and I'm just certain I know how this is going to end.
I just don't know how we cut through this medical fearmongering and help mothers realize how much the interventions that are so "normal" can backfire. It seems that so often even when there is a friend or two sharing the "Hey, do your research on this," approach, we're 2% of the feedback when they're surrounded by people who are pulling out the dead baby card and waving it around the minute someone even looks for alternatives (like how to get a baby to turn from breech).
Let alone something *really* 'weird' like suggesting that she consider finding an OB or midwife who will consider a vaginal breech delivery ....I'm pretty sure the first friend if she has another, will make different choices and be able to have a happy natural birth. I'm sure my second friend would have had a natural labor (her family labors quickly and she wanted it) - but if she ends up with a c/s, then she'll probably continue right on along that medicological path for any other births because it's "what she knows."
