I really need help with my 1 year old.

[flower01]

Just turned 1...and I can't do anything. He cries...and cries, unless I am directly playing with him, nursing him, or holding him. Every time I get up to do something like cook a meal or clean up the floor, he cries. And screams! For awhile my DH told me I just need to let him cry, but it doesn't work. He's not getting used to it and he gets so worked up that he's screaming and it takes a serious cuddle nursing session to calm him down. If I'm trying to cook, he's standing at my feet pulling on my legs screaming - I can't cook that way. I thought this would get better once he started walking (11 months), but that didn't help.

The thing is any stranger would think he is an absolutely easy baby. When we are outside or out in public he is really happy 90% of the time. We go out to eat no problem...the thing is we end up doing that a lot more than I want to just because I can't get dinner on the table.

It's also really taking away from my 3 year old. She is wonderful...but I feel really bad that I can't focus on her at all. He will seem happy so we will attempt to bake cookies together...and what happens if I have to put him down for anything...he's crying the whole time we are making cookies. It's not fun.

Every single morning we have started going for a morning walk...it's great, but I don't want to HAVE to do it. What are we going to do when it's really cold.

He does have solid play time where he could care less if I'm playing with him. He'll get really into playing with his tool box or some random object...as long as I'm sitting on the couch where he can see me. If i have to go to the bathroom, he follows me in crying.

Any suggestions???

[akat]

Hi.

Have you tried wearing him?

Could he be tired or teething?

[Abraisme]

I second wearing him. When my DD gets like that I put her in the Ergo and do all my regular chores.

[Knitting Mama]

Yep, I would learn a back carry with a wrap or carrier and wear him on your back so you can go about your day!

[Summersquash]

Is this a more recent thing? Is he maybe not feeling well? Teething, or has a cold or something? That kind of clinginess is a sure tip off in my house that DD is sick or teething. When we're out or doing something interesting or Grandpa is visiting, she's fine.

If it has been going on for a while, the other thought I had was that he learned to walk pretty recently, you said? I wonder if it is one of those developmental things...all of a sudden HE can walk away from YOU so now needs some extra reassurance that you will always be right there when you need him? That probably doesn't really help you out much from a practical standpoint though.

[flower01]

To answer the questions: I wear him a lot outside of the house. I do not wear him in because we live in a small place. I cannot wear him in the kitchen because I would run him into things. I do wear him sometimes when I vacuum, but I just can't do it in the kitchen...and it's really hard to pick things off the floor when I'm wearing him.


And as for if this is new...no, it's not. It's been as long as I can remember at this point. I kept thinking that it'd get better when he could crawl...and then when he could walk. It's just crazy because he is so active and loves to climb and jump around but I don't know what it is about me in the kitchen or standing up doing chores.

[P.J.]

I don't have any advice for you, but it sounds like he may be a high needs baby (12 features of a high needs baby). Although my HN baby does not need to be constantly held, I do understand what it's like to have a baby that needs near-constant attention and spends a lot of time fussing and crying. We have a Spirited Babies group on this forum, it's a good place to get ongoing support and vent and share tips and tricks for caring for these lively little people. Come on over if you feel like.

[beebalmmama]

My first ds was a lot like that. It got a bit easier when he could walk, but that was mainly because he could walk to me.

As for the kitchen, have you tried putting him in a highchair next to you and your dd, so he can participate. Give him some flour, measuring spoons, etc.

Otherwise I second the suggestion of trying to wear him in a back carry.