Job training & TTC - Do I tell my boss or not?

[curiouscanadian]

xposted from Working and Student Parents

We have been TTC for the last while but this week I was asked to become the new safety officer for our office of 18 people. I took it as a positive sign as to my position in the company and wouldn't mind doing it but it would involve 6 full days of training for me over the next few months and a not-insignificant outlay of $$$ from the company.

My boss jokingly told me that if I agreed to do it, I can't quit. He is vaguely aware that I want more children, but certainly not aware that if I go out on maternity leave I will most likely not be returning.

Do I recommend he designate someone else in the office (might be tricky without telling him why), or not say anything? It seems dishonest not to mention something if I'm not planning on sticking around, but at the same time I don't want to paint a target on my back for layoff as the company goes through a bit of a lean time (particularly as I'm only working now in order to qualify for mat. leave again). Argh! Help? WWYD?

I need to decide by Monday as we have get the ball rolling on the training ASAP.

[earth-mama]

I think you should keep the job, unless you really do not need it. You mentioned that you need it for the maternity leave; is there some reason that you would not need to work after maternity leave? I figure that a lot can happen during the time TTC and while pregnant and that if you think you might need a job it is better to keep the one you have rather than have to look for a new one later--especially if you like it Also, we TTCervs always want to conceive quickly (I know I do), but sometimes it takes a while.

I am in a somewhat similar position, in that I just took a job in June that I am not sure if I will keep after maternity leave (when I get pregnant). My current plan is to keep the job, but we may decide that I don't really make enough money to justify putting 2 kids into daycare (even minimally). My general policy on work related stuff is that they don't really need to know until it becomes important. I have not and will not tell my work until I am pregnant, but I will tell my supervisor immediately once I know (I have a job that has potential health hazards for a gestating baby--they can and will accommodate though) however, my sister is in her first trimester and is not planning on telling her work until she is in her second--being pregnant doesn't really impact her job.

That was kind of a lot. I just know that this economy is tuff and it seems better to keep a job rather than be in a position where you can't find one.

[MountainMamaGC]

Do not tell them about your plans for a baby. Its not their business, and you dont know how long it will take you to get pregnant. You live in Canada. You need to work the year before you deliver to get leave and they have to hold a job for you.

[ValH]

I agree with the previous posts, no need to tell them! For one, you don't know how long it will take to get pregnant - I hope it's quick for you, but it can take some couples with no known fertility issues up to a year or more. Plus, a lot can happen in the time it takes to conceive and deliver the baby - you may change your mind about returning to work after the baby arrives. So I'd take the position and not feel guilty about it. It's not like you are PLANNING to qiut anytime in the immediate future. Best of luck, and lots of baby dust!

[Stevi]

I would not say anything. You never know what life will throw at you, something could happen next week that puts TTC on the back burner, or makes keeping that job a priority.

Don't say anything until you hit your second trimester.

Maybe toward the end of your pregnancy you can volunteer to train your replacement if you feel guilty about it.

[LivingSky]

I'll add another voice to the "don't tell them" pool. TTC can be stressful enough as it is - the last thing you need is to put your life on hold while trying. It will just add undue stress to everything.

[Taxlady]

I'm also going with the don't tell them policy. If you work in an "at will" type of job, then your employers have the right to fire you at any moment for cause and therefore, I would keep everything to yourself. It goes both ways. GOOD LUCK!!

[mayakas]

I say don't tell. And don't feel guilty either. Do you think they would not lay you off if they needed to just because it made them feel bad? No way - they do what's best for the bottom line without a second thought. And you should do what's best for you and your family.

I got laid off after maternity leave after six insanely busy, dedicated years working for my company. The took me back for a week and then said thath business had slowed down and they couldn't sustain my hours. There's just no loyalty to employees.

But fyi, my manager quit and another manager begged me to come back a few months later. I accepted under the condition that I work entirely from home so I can be with the baby yay!

[Wendlynnn]

Definitely do NOT tell. Where I am it is illegal to discriminate against a pregnant woman in the workforce - that includes hiring as well as promoting. I was a few months pregnant when I interviewed for a big job and was not sure if I should tell them yet - I def. would have left the position to stay at home with a new baby. However, it was still early for me to tell anyone - I ended up losing that baby (and not getting the job anyway), so I'm glad I didn't tell. Now I just started a new job and tested pregnant within days of starting - and I just lost that one too.

I wish you all the best in ttc and being pg. My point is that you never know what will happen - so keep the job and respect your privacy.

[Sol_y_Paz]

I wouldn't say a word.

[curiouscanadian]

I think you should keep the job, unless you really do not need it. You mentioned that you need it for the maternity leave; is there some reason that you would not need to work after maternity leave?

I should clarify that the safety certification would be an extension of my current job duties and I truly believe I would only be laid off if it was a general layoff to cut costs due to external factors. (Although maybe I'm just being naive, judging from all the comments. )

Financially, we are lucky enough that with a little bit of careful budgeting I do not NEED to work even now. However, in Canada if you work for the year leading up to birth, you get one full year of paid maternity leave which is obviously very helpful. I was hoping to have my children much closer in age than they will be and so in my optimism thought I was only going be back at work for a year (it's been over 2) before being off on mat leave again.

Maybe toward the end of your pregnancy you can volunteer to train your replacement if you feel guilty about it.

Unfortunately it's third party training/certification so the company would have to shell out the time & money again for someone else to be certified.

TTC can be stressful enough as it is - the last thing you need is to put your life on hold while trying.

I think this is part of what I'm struggling with. On one hand I could get preggers this month, on the other hand it could be a year or more (or worse). It's tough planning ahead but not putting things on hold...

I probably would've quit my job long ago so I could stay at home with DS if I'd known things were going to take this long for #2.

[crunchy_mommy]

I wouldn't tell. It wouldn't even OCCUR to me that maybe I should tell them -- it's absolutely none of their business, and people come & go from jobs all the time for so many different reasons -- yeah, it's inconvenient & a hardship on the company, but dealing with employee turnover is just part of running a business.

On the other hand, if you don't WANT this new position and feel like it just puts too much burden on you, I would decline the offer. You could just tell them that the 6-day training would be too much time away from your family, or that you're hoping to go in another direction with your career, or you'd need a significant pay increase to take this on, or whatever...

[alexsam]

Again, don't tell. It's not their business, and like everyone said, it may not happen right away.

Sure, maternity and/or people leaving can be disruptive in the workplace, but that is life. It is nice that you are dedicated and considerate regarding your employer, but really, in the end it is business and you should not limit yourself. Life has many surprises, and telling your boss does no good for you or them. If you say something and refuse this, they will continually be wondering what else you will bail on.