How would you spend this money?

[waiting2bemommy]

My DP is in school this semester and is getting $1800 is grant/loan money. e just got his check for the largest chunk of it, about $1600. After cashing it and taking us out to Cracker Barrel to celebrate we have $1500 and some odd dollars left. Here are our needs, money wise:

rent due november 1st $650
water bill $180 but only $40 is actually late or due now.
ds' preschool $470 (the rest of september, plus all of october, we pay weekly)
car payment $350/month but we are behind a bit
car needs a tune up, not sure how much although estimates vary from $75-400 depending on who you ask!
my divorce from my ex---still owe the rest of the payment in order to set the court date, about $320
and finally none of my DP's family have seen dd, his first child and we would like to go to TX and visit them (there are legitimate reasons that they cannot travel so we would need to go them) we would like to drive out there over Thanksgiving break----cost for gas round trip is $350 plus incidental expenses. we do have FS so we can pack lunches and stuff to eat on the road, and no hotel costs unless we break the travel into two days. he hasn't been in TXor seen his family in over a year and I would like to be able to make this happen.

this is how I budgeted the money.
$400 towards next month's rent
$200 on ds' school tuition
$400 on the car (the $350 car payment, plus using the leftover to get an oil change/tuneup/whatever)
$100 towards the court costs for my divorce
$200 put away towards gas money for thanksgiving trip
$200 for household stuff that we need/winter coats & clothes and a night out for us without the kids.

what do you all think?
eta: I included the $40 water bill in that last $200 so really like $160 for clothes and misc. things we need

[mamaofprincesses]

Mama, in all honesty, if I were on FS any money would have to essentials only. Rent, the water bill, possibly the car (although in complete honesty it sounds like it is more than you can afford), and then stashing the rest as an emergency fund. I remember some of your other threads, and I would not take money from your current DP to pay for your divorce. I also don't enroll my kids in preschool, because I can't justify the expense (note I didn't say I couldn't afford it, if there was a need I would do it, but they've done fine without it). I haven't been to visit my parents in five years. I've been fortunate that they have been able to come to me, but either way I don't see them often. I'm just adding that so you'll know that I can completely empathize - my oldest brother has never met my two youngest children, and I would love for him to meet them. The financial security of my family has to come first. We do what we can with pictures, email, and phone calls.

I know it is difficult to go without things that you really, really want and would improve your quality of life. Having money in the bank, though, is a huge step towards financial peace. Please think very, very carefully about how to spend this cash.

[texmati]

I'm sorry... I'm with pp. I'd first spend the money on dp's schooling (that's what the grant is for? or is it for living expenses?)

Then I'd pay the whole 320 to get that divorce; your exdh sounds terrifying.
Then rent.
Then car.
Then DS's tuition.
and if there is any money left after that, I'd stick it in the bank.

[waiting2bemommy]

Originally Posted by texmati

I'm sorry... I'm with pp. I'd first spend the money on dp's schooling (that's what the grant is for? or is it for living expenses?)

Then I'd pay the whole 320 to get that divorce; your exdh sounds terrifying.
Then rent.
Then car.
Then DS's tuition.
and if there is any money left after that, I'd stick it in the bank.

yeah the schooling is already paid for. this is what was leftover for living expenses after tuition, fees, books etc. dp went and gave ds' school $200 this morning and he put aside the rent money (gave it to a trusted friend/older person we know) and paid the car note.

but now we are disagreeing on how to spend the rest of the money.

If it were MY money I'd pay off the whole divorce so me and mine can live in peace. if it were HIS decision alone he would buy a laptop and fix up the car.

However it is not my money, and he agrees that it isn't his to blow, it is his to use wisely to benefit the family. So we are trying to reach a compromise.

I could definitely live without going to TX and spending 4 days in a small car with a 2 yr old and a 6 month old. No, we really can't afford to fix the car, but as it is it eats up gas like maybe we are getting 5 miles to a gallon. So in the long run getting a $100 tune up would save us a LOT of money. so I am ok with that.

the rest of the money, I am thinking to just ask him to set it aside as savings. Then when November comes, we can reevaluate whether we want to ue our "savings" to go visit family, or continue to save for something else, or what.

I give him credit though: he came home with the debit card and said, "here, take thie thing so i don't spend it." and then we sat down and did a tentative budget of the money. so we are making progress.....

oh and about the preschool, yes we are stretching ourselves to afford it, but ds has been evaluated twice and both times that was the recommendation, and we are seeing improvements so we are trying to make it work. I agree with you though, mamaofprincesses, that it isn't a "true" necessity. I mean, i taught preschool for quite some time; I feel silly sometimes sending ds to school, but for him it is about a lot more than the academics.

[luv-my-boys]

Honestly im with the other PP. Set the money aside in a savings acct as your emergency fund. For example if you were to spend the $ the way you mentioned in the 1st post and then say in Nov. your computer crashes, car dies or you guys become ill and have medical expenses do you have $$ to cover that? I'd rather have a small *in case* fund and let it roll over month to month because inevitably stuff comes up.

[texmati]

good deal. I'd ask him again about the divorce. Ya'll cant get married until it's final, correct? Would he 'loan' you the money to make it happen, with the understanding that you will make it up somehow in the future

[confustication]

You have $1970 expenses listed there without the trip. In all honestly- (holy car payment- $350/month? That seems really high) this all needs to go to necessary expenses.

If things aren't covered by this money- how will they be covered going forward? Is there other income? If so, how much?

Your divorce isn't final- are you getting child support at this point? if you aren't- finalize the divorce so a support order is in place asap.

[waiting2bemommy]

Originally Posted by confustication

You have $1970 expenses listed there without the trip. In all honestly- (holy car payment- $350/month? That seems really high) this all needs to go to necessary expenses.

If things aren't covered by this money- how will they be covered going forward? Is there other income? If so, how much?

Your divorce isn't final- are you getting child support at this point? if you aren't- finalize the divorce so a support order is in place asap.

thanks everyone for the great advice. to asnwer some reponses

yes we have a ridiculously high car note because of our credit. no real way out except to let it go to repo which obviously would not help anything. we might be able to refinance in 6 motnhs or trade it in but stil not sure that will help anything.

I worked up until 2 weeks ago. I have about 2 dozen job apps ot right ow and full expect to be employed again within the next few days. SO works on his non school days but the money he brings in is variable based on the weather (construction/electrical). Right now it is hurricane season, so a lot of days off. he is looking for something more permanent; just came back from an interview actually.

the divorce $$ we don't do "loans" to each other. just not how we roll. We just have each other's back and make joint decisions about the money. If he was dead set against it I certainly would not twist his arm, but he isn't *against* it. He wants it to happen, believe me. He just sees a lt of other places to put that money.

child support---there is an order in place, has been since ds was 9 months old. not a dime has been paid on it and I choose not to pursue it for my o reasons.

[SleeplessMommy]

I would be really really concerned about driving the car to TX. If the car breaks down near your home, you pay $50 and get it towed to your place. It can sit there until you fix it on the cheap.

If it breaks down on the way to Texas, you can't tow it home. You will be stuck somewhere until it works again, in a hotel you can't afford... with car repairs you can't afford. If you take the greyhound bus back home (more costs) then your next step is to default on the car loan. Does not sound fun.

How much longer do you have car payments for?

[Mulvah]

This is how I would spend the funds:

1.) Rent - $650
2.) Water - $180
3.) Car Payment - $350
4.) Tune Up - $150 (No reason this should cost $400. If it costs you more than $100, don't do it right now.)
5.) Court Costs - $100
6.) Clothing - $30 (I assume this is a need not a want. You can shop Craigslist, consignment stores, etc.)
7.) Night Out - $20 (This is not a necessity by any stretch, but I would choose this over visiting family. You simply cannot afford a trip right now.)

I don't view the pre-schooling as a necessity, especially since you have some experience there. If it's for socializing, there are plenty of groups you can find via libraries, meetup.com, neighborhood message boards, city message boards, etc. Even if you're in a bad area (I'm not sure if you are), you can find some very good groups if you look. I'm not sure what, aside from academics and socializing, pre-school offers. Based upon the data provided, I would nix it until one or the both of you are working full-time.

[mamaofprincesses]

Have you looked into Headstart? I can't believe you wouldn't qualify, especially since you said your son has been evaluated twice. It might not have the reputation of the preschool where you have him now, but sheesh. . .that is a lot of money.

[waiting2bemommy]

Originally Posted by mamaofprincesses

Have you looked into Headstart? I can't believe you wouldn't qualify, especially since you said your son has been evaluated twice. It might not have the reputation of the preschool where you have him now, but sheesh. . .that is a lot of money.

well, that is the funny thing. We will qualify for it in december (he can't go until he is 3) but both evaluations put him in te advanced or gifted category, for which there is absolutely nothing until he either a)starts third grade or b) becomes a behavior problem of the violent, uncontrollable sort. Also he has some anxiety issues an I know this sounds so un-AP but for him the solution is to have positive time away from me on a regular basis. Apparently I trigger his anxiety.

so......this preschool charges less than most daycares around here, and if i want to work during the day, he would have to go to daycare. So for right now we pay $65/week for him to go for 15 hours (three half days) a week. If I get a job that requires me to work full time we will just put him in 5 half days and then ask Grandma or a friend to pick him up and babysit from 1 until we get off. The $200 is paying up for almost a month, and they work with me. they waive some fees, they let me pay in bits and pieces and they let me get behind because they know our situation. I talked with the directress at length about our finances before I enrolled him.

Also, the Head Start around here is terrible. Overcrowded, they serve red koolaid and lunchable type foods and you can't bring your own, they watch TV THREE times a day, and they palygrounds are usually rusty and awful looking. Truly a last resort. I've been to visit/observe so I'm not just saying it because it's head start.

clothes I think would have to be at least $50-100.....dd has almost no winter clothes and neither do I. SO has like 3 shirts and 2 pairs of pants. I have like 3 pairs of underwear, no exaggeration. I don't know that we could get what we need for all of us for $30. ds needs socks too.

[SummerLove]

I'd pay our immediate expenses and put the rest in savings for emergencies (car repair, etc).

[mtm]

If you're behind on bills don't take a trip. Get your car loan back in good standing or you may be facing a repo. Do you make enough for your Nov bills to be met or do you need to keep the money for that? If you don't have enough for Nov bills then put all the money away for those.

Kept reading, I'm glad you caught up on the school and car note. I'd prioritize winter clothes and tune-up if you can convince your dh.

[phathui5]

my divorce from my ex---still owe the rest of the payment in order to set the court date, about $320

Is this something you're paying a lawyer? When I got divorced years ago, I did the paperwork at the courthouse myself and it was far less than $300.

Is he in preschool because you need the childcare for work? If you're home, I would pull him out and keep the money.

[TiredX2]

I'm not understanding this.

You have $15xx, right?

Then you say you have $650 rent due and you're going to put $400 of this money towards that. Where is the other $250 coming from?

Is this $15xx "extra" (so you will be paying the bills you listed with money from another source) or does this money need to cover your bills? Because if it is the latter, then I would put all of it towards bills due:

$1550 - $650 rent
$900 - $350 car
$550 - $470 preschool
$80 - $40 water
$40

I put the preschool because that just gets you current--- I assume you would need to give notice even if you were to pull DS out of preschool.
How much are you overdue on the car? When is the other $140 water bill due? Unless you have other income you have not listed, there is not only not "extra" money, there is not ENOUGH money to meet the minimums.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by TiredX2

I'm not understanding this....

I put the preschool because that just gets you current--- I assume you would need to give notice even if you were to pull DS out of preschool.
How much are you overdue on the car? When is the other $140 water bill due? Unless you have other income you have not listed, there is not only not "extra" money, there is not ENOUGH money to meet the minimums.

You make a good point. I assumed they must be paid this month, though I didn't account for the preschool. Like Tired says, it does seem like this $1500 is not extra, but just enough. If that's the case, pay your actual bills and don't buy any non-essentials (dinner out, pre-school, trips, etc.).

[waiting2bemommy]

sorry I didn't clarify. This is kind of extra money, although we were counting on it to help us play catch up a bit. The money is designated for "living expenses" sicne it is federal financial aid, but we also work so we really are paying our bills out of that. However right now work is very very slow for both of us (I have been babysitting and was waiting tables until a few weeks ago, and he does electrical work) so that is why we went ahead and paid bills with this "extra" money. Just in case. i have been trying to find something more permanent or with higher pay but you all know how the childcare is....work all week and pay 75% for childcare. I have an interview for a cleaning position on Friday, and applications in at about 7 restaurants and a few other places. This is also another reason why I don't want to pull ds out of preschool. also he goes to preschool on the days my SO goes to college. That frees me up to do housecleaning gigs and things like that where I can bring dd along, but not ds.

ETA: tired, we have a payment arrangement for teh water, $40 and then we don't have to pay again for 2 weeks, I think half of the balance, and then the remainder goes on our next bill which is not for two months. we only pay water every other month. we were just coming late on the bill which is why I went ahead and made an arrangement with them

[choli]

I'd cover the rent first of all. I don't really understand why you would only pay $400 of it - the last thing you need is to get yourselves further behind on any bills. Driving to Texas in a car that gets 5 miles to the gallon instead of paying your rent is not a good idea.