Pregnant in Clarksville, TN. Birth options? - Page 2

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by HRJ 

Unless you do a homebirth, I would do Vandy any.day over the hospital in Clarksville.  To be honest, I wouldn't take my dog to the hospital in Clarksville. 

Yikes! That's what scares me most about the home birth option-- that if I did have to transfer, I'd have to go to Gateway, and I haven't heard good things. For that reason, however slim the chances, it scares me off home birth in this area. 

We're still going to Vandy, but really I hope to check out the Farm when DH has some vacation time over the holidays. I'm not psyched about driving two hours to get there, but with a toddler in tow it might be a good option. 

[HRJ]

I used to drive 1 hr and 15 min one way to see our family dr in Franklin, TN (driving from Clarksville) who was preventative/integrative/vax friendly, etc.  It was a drive.  And I couldn't wait to be in an area w/ better medical care after Ft Campbell, but it was so worth it. 

[Beauchamp]

Update...we're birthing at the Farm! We met with Carol today.  :)

[AuNaturaleMama]

Yay!! That's so exciting!

Btw, welcome to the area! I lived in Clarksville for 5 years. How are you liking the area?

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by AuNaturaleMama 

Yay!! That's so exciting!

Btw, welcome to the area! I lived in Clarksville for 5 years. How are you liking the area?

Honestly, not much at all. It seems like there are no good restaurants here and not that much to do at all, unless you like Super Walmarts. lol Mostly everything cool is in Nashville, which is a tough drive alone with a carseat-hating toddler. 

Although, to be fair, I haven't met many people yet, and it seems like if I had some IRL friends here, that would help a LOT. 

[AuNaturaleMama]

Don't worry, Clarksville wasn't exactly my type of city either. We counted the days until DH got out of the army and we could move elsewhere. I can recommend a few decent places to eat that aren't chains if you'd like. That's about all there is to do besides spending way too much money at target and walking along the river.

We went to story time at the library a few times and that was fun. That's about all I can think of that would be fun to do with a toddler. LOL! If you ever need any recommendations or alternate directions to places, I'll be happy to help! I used to explore the city when DH was deployed.

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by AuNaturaleMama 

Don't worry, Clarksville wasn't exactly my type of city either. We counted the days until DH got out of the army and we could move elsewhere. I can recommend a few decent places to eat that aren't chains if you'd like. That's about all there is to do besides spending way too much money at target and walking along the river.

We went to story time at the library a few times and that was fun. That's about all I can think of that would be fun to do with a toddler. LOL! If you ever need any recommendations or alternate directions to places, I'll be happy to help! I used to explore the city when DH was deployed.

LOL Oh my that is NOT encouraging. Funny...but not encouraging!!! :)  

I've heard about the library story time, too. I go there for the LLL meeting. I should make the effort for us to go to story time. And please do let me know where the good restaurants are!!! PM or reply, whichever, I am desperate!  :)  We've lived all over and there always seems to be those really good local spots..but here? Not so much. 

[Tnmommi]

I LOVE the fried ice cream from El Toros on 41A.

[HRJ]

This was me exactly.  We lived there for 3 years.  And except for my very cool neighbor that grew up in Wash DC, I found it hard to make friends there.  I counted the days until we could leave, but also have some fun memories there with my hubby and son.  My son and I went to Starbucks literally everyday out of boredom.  We did enjoy the craft time at the library (the two ladies that ran that were very sweet) on post (if you are military).  We also enjoyed the playground on post (near gate 5).  We would feed the ducks over at Dunbar caves.  Herbs and vitamins was a nice place to go into, and I heard that there is a brand new health store there.  We enjoyed the Indian restaurant over near Kohl's.  And there was an AMAZING Korean restaurant we went to every Friday night called Tiny Town carryout (corner of Ft Campbell Blvd and Tiny Town Rd).  There were some kids movies for free in the summer at the movie theatre on Tiny Town.  Blackhorse Brew Pub was another favorite restaurant downtown.  We also hung out at Borders bookstore on Friday night.  Also, there is a GREAT acupuncturist there in Clarksville.  Just wonderful.  And a preventative medicine dr too.  The preventative medicine dr didn't see people for sick visits and well childs though, so I did commute to Nashville for our family dr.  I would say we would go to Nashville 1-2 weekends a month to stock up at Whole Foods and Trader Joes and go to the mall.  I am sure that if you are involved with LLL, you have heard of Silkes German bakery, right? 
 

Originally Posted by AuNaturaleMama 

Don't worry, Clarksville wasn't exactly my type of city either. We counted the days until DH got out of the army and we could move elsewhere. I can recommend a few decent places to eat that aren't chains if you'd like. That's about all there is to do besides spending way too much money at target and walking along the river.

We went to story time at the library a few times and that was fun. That's about all I can think of that would be fun to do with a toddler. LOL! If you ever need any recommendations or alternate directions to places, I'll be happy to help! I used to explore the city when DH was deployed.

[AuNaturaleMama]

I a lot of my recommendations are the same as PP so won't repeat them.

Our favorite Mecican place is Manzanillo's in Sango. We used to live near post and would make the drive-it's that good! Burritos on 41 near FTC is also pretty good. I love their pineapple salsa. Most people recommend Hananoki for Japanese but we prefer Shogun's by the mall. There are a couple of gyro places there but be careful they all have them same name but one has a different owner and is gross. The Sam's Gyro in the mall and the one by gate 4 have the same owner and is very good.

Downtown all the restaraunts are really good. Lovin' Spoonful is super cute and retro inside. A lot of times the have specials thar are recipes out of local church cookbooks. Frontpage deli news has great sandwiches and burgers. They even have a menu of beef from a local farmer! Blondie's is packed at lunch but if you go after the lunch crowd is gone and it's spring you can sit on their little patio.

On Warfield there is a shopping center that has a restaurant called "the looking glass" and their desserts are amazing! It's also a cute place for breakfast. They also gave a cute garden to sit in weather permitting.

Hopefully these are a great starting point!

[HRJ]

Oh, I forgot about The Looking Glass!!!  Also there is a diner on Riverside Drive (I forget the name of it, but it's before the big shopping center on the way to the river) that has some Pad Thai.  I never had it - supposed to be good.  There is also a Thai restaurant across from the river.  The food was pretty good; however, after seeing how dirty the bathrooms were, we didn't go back.  So use your discrection on that one!

[Beauchamp]

Just wanted to add that I love how my post about birth options has turned into restaurant and activity recs. LOL No, seriously. I do.  :)  

So...am I crazy to question if the Farm is a good decision? Am I just being scared? I am scared of being so far out in the country and feeling like I'm dying. (note: first baby was OP and I had LEEP scar tissue, so big issues there, pain wise. I feel like a wimp.)  :(  I do NOT want to be a Farm statistic of a mama who had to transfer just for an epi because of pain. 

[KoalaMommy]

I don't think you're crazy to consider the Farm.  I'd ask them honestly about your questions.  I seriously doubt they transfer many people for pain.  They have an extremely low transfer rate, under 5% I think. 

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by KoalaMommy 

I don't think you're crazy to consider the Farm.  I'd ask them honestly about your questions.  I seriously doubt they transfer many people for pain.  They have an extremely low transfer rate, under 5% I think. 

Thanks.  :)  I know, it seems like *the* perfect place in terms of great MWs, care, etc. My perspective is that I didn't pick the right MW for me the first time around. My innermost expectations of her (that I didn't even realize I had until I was in labor) did not match up at all to the kind of care she provided. (She was competent I think, but just didn't click with me, and that caused issues, aside from the actual medical stuff that happened.) So...it seems like the Farm takes the guesswork out of finding *one* home birth MW who is The One, because they have SUCH experience and such an amazing track record. I think even if that is a lot of boo, at the very least it makes me FEEL better, safer, and I think that will help me relax a little. 

As for pain--- I am scared. Like, really, really scared. I will probably post something separate on the birth forum later. But the whole "trust birth" thing makes me a little....I don't know. I am cynical, dry, sarcastic, witty, etc, to begin with, and I had a bad experience with my first birth. So I am not trusting right now, and don't really trust myself or my body. I know that's a bad place to be in, and I am hoping the Farm MWs may be able to help me reach a better level of understanding. 

[KoalaMommy]

It sounds like you really need to deal with your fear.  The fear of the pain itself could create a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I used Hypnobabies with my last pregnancy, and it really helped me to tackle that fear head on.  Now I need to qualify my statement by honestly confessing I DID have an epidural with each and every one of my births.  But with this last one, I also know I made it farther than I ever would have without the hypnobabies, and I was about 32 hours into labor and 2 hours into pitocin before I asked for it.  I believe had I not had so many interventions and had such a long hospital labor (where you're disturbed every hour), I would have been able to do a natural birth with the hypnobabies.  I'd give my left arm not to have to be in a hospital for birth!

[lahancock27]

I just wanted to say that I think the Farm sounds like a great idea. I live in Chattanooga and had my first at my midwife's house in Chattanooga and I had my second at home.  If there wasn't the network of CPM's in the area, I would have driven to the Farm. 

As for the fear aspect, I am a little biased since I teach Hypnobabies, but I would look into the program.  They have a home study course that you can do and it only takes 5 weeks, plus doing maintenance until the baby arrives.  The only instructors that would be close to you would be in Franklin at Nine Months and Beyond with Micky (she is a doula too). 

I got to attend one of my good friend's (and students) births two weeks ago today and she used Hypnobabies.  She had a more traumatic first birth experience and watching her do it the second time was simply beautiful.  She was calm, confident and although her birthing time was still somewhat long, once she kicked into active labor, she had the baby very quickly and peacefully. 

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Leigh Anne

www.chattanoogahypnobabies.com

http://confessionsofamisplacedalaskan.wordpress.com

[bubbleflowers]

I agree that you sound like you have a lot of fear about whether you can do this or not. Trust me, YOU CAN! I just had my second child in July.  There was alot going on during my pregnancy and I questioned myself a bit as well. Remember: fear->tension->pain.  If you feel afraid, you won't open up as easily. You have to relax to get your bottom to open up. Something beautiful to remember is that you are connecting with every mother from all time in this experience.  What helped me was to read birth stories and then visualize my own coming experience. Ina May's books are a really good place to start. "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" as well as "Spiritual Midwifery" are just stuffed full of great birth stories and ideas. Not only were the stories encouraging  but also demonstrated great ideas for getting over fear and  relaxing. (I actually "Moo-ed" at my husband in the hospital, not only to relax my bottom, but to laugh about it. It worked!)  It is a great idea to get your birth team together, people to support and encourage you not only through childbirth, but during your pregnancy and postpartum.  It really helped me to have good women around me who were caring for my needs and cheering me on.  If you still would be interested in having a doula, I would like to extend my hand of friendship. I know I live in Franklin, but I pass through Clarksville at least 3 times a month. I have a large lending library, and am studying midwifery. I'm trying to get experience and would be honored to help support a sister mom birth a soul into this world. If you are interested, private message me.

Even with whatever you decide, I'll be praying for you and your baby. I'm sure your experience at the Farm will be lovely. I went to the MANA conference in October and met many of the midwives and some of their apprentices. They are some really sweet, groovy gals!

[Smithie]

"...the whole "trust birth" thing makes me a little....I don't know. I am cynical, dry, sarcastic, witty, etc, to begin with..."

So, you're me then? 

I was lucky enough to really "click" with the midwife who delivered my first two, but when I was delivering #3 here in SC and couldn't go back across the country to be with her, I found myself really caught up in trust/pain issues. I considered the Farm very seriously, because I truly believed I would be safer there, but ultimately had a hospital birth with a requested (not pushed in the least) epidural. I had reached a place emotionally where I truly did not WANT the emotional interdependence with a MW and the intense physical and emotional experience of a natural birth. Been there, done that. I was done with it.  

I mention this only to say that from your posts and the decisions you've been making, it seems to me that you are very much NOT done with it, and I think you've made an excellent choice of delivery location where you're very likely to find people who have experience in helping women handle that business. And you're probably not the first cynic with a rough first birth under their belt who has ever sought care at The Farm. 

[Beauchamp]

See, the thing is, I *have* read Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May's Guide. But when it came time for *my* birth, it seemed nothing like those stories. Sure, some women did say how painful it was, etc, but it's different reading it versus FEELING it. The good stuff sticks with you, but when someone writes "it was the worst pain I ever felt" it just doesn't translate. So I went to fear very quickly because I felt like I didn't have control, and I didn't know how to get control.  :(  

I think I expected the pain to be painful, but more...normal, somehow. 

[HRJ]

i think the point is that you shouldn't have control during labor.  The more in control you are, the more tensed you are which perpetuates a fear-tension-pain cycle.  The more relaxed and uninhibited you are, the less pain.  You need to let the labor take over and let go of it.  My doula was telling me that it makes her nervous how much i am reading.  I would really recommend Mind Over Labor by Carl Jones though - great guided imagery.  And I found some cheaper hypnobirthing type tapes on amazon that I got.  I'm also listening to another guided imagery CD.  The Bradley Book by McCutcheson really explains the tension-pain cycle and really taking one contraction at a time - no more than that.