How often do you feel unappreciated?

[firewoman]

I have been a stay at home mommy for over 11 years now. For some reason I have been feeling put upon the last two months. Has anyone else gone through this and how did you deal with it?

[mommariffic]

This morning I woke up and realized something:
My DH gets to wake up, take a shower, and go to work each day where his accomplishments are validated with a paycheck, and praise. But as a mum I often get negative stuff: "is dinner ready? how come this this and this is wrong? Or hasn't been done yet?"

Man, some days I just want someone to appreciate the fact that I've kept my kids alive and thriving without loosing it!

[SubliminalDarkness]

Daily. But I'm used to it.

[Learning_Mum]

At the moment, almost everyday I think. It sucks.

[kittywitty]

All the time. Especially when my kids act like I beat them when I ask for them to do anything or dh doesn't bother helping out if I'm ill. I baby everyone else when they are even slightly sick, it would be nice for even an ounce of voluntary help when I am sick/debilitated, too.

[Bebe's Mom]

I am a stay at home mom too, and I feel not so much unappreciated, but I feel trapped at times, whereas my DH gets to go out by himself and do stuff that I never get to do..However he also has to put up with lots of crap that I don't-he has to get up super early(which he hates to do), deal with traffic, go to work and deal with irritating people, who don't appreciate him, and he is under pressure to do this every day and to make sure he brings home a paycheck, which promptly gets sucked up into bills, with little to none left over for fun stuff. Oh, then he comes home to help take care of the babe and make dinner. So, he has lots of crap to deal with too, and I must say most of the time he does it gracefully..I try not to be jealous when he stops at the bar for happy hour on the way home once a week, since he needs to destress too. I just wish I could go out too, once a week! But then, I get to sleep in, stay home in my jammies(if I feel like it) or do pretty much whatever, as long as I take the babe with me.

[Getz]

I gave DH a taste of the medicine today. Lately I have been feeling really resentful because I get up super early with the kids and he sleeps in. (He works from home)

Today I took a nap and he tried to get some work done with the kids. He said, I will never judge you for not being able to do anything with these two around, it's impossible! LOL

[red and lulu]

At least a dozen times a day. Even more so since I've started working part-time out of the house... more hours than him some weeks... and still do 100% of the housework and 98% of the parenting.

[firewoman]

I don't know what it is exactly. It likely isn't just one thing. DH is a good father and is very helpful with the children and he works really hard, too. He's working six days this week which I know was never in his master plan but we need the extra money. I work hard, too, and am pretty much on call 24/7 with our five children. I feel so fortunate to be a stay at home mom and get to be with my children all day everyday. That is a wonderful gift he has given to me. Sometimes though, not having any time for myself or any extra money is hard. I'm trying to pinpoint what the problem is, exactly, because I want to fix it. I HATE feeling this way.

[major_mama11]

I feel more appreciated now that I work PT. I was pretty much a sahm for the first 8-9 mos after each child's birth, but now I work 1-2 shifts per week. I don't think DH truly appreciated what I did until his first time managing the kids by himself (ie when I started working PT after DS- he rarely managed DD alone until she was older).

He is not quite as in awe of my multi-tasking skills as he once was, though, as he has recently figured out the art of getting housework done while simultaneously supervising both kids. When I first went back PT, the house would be completely trashed when I came home, so I felt like I was working FT + PT due to the extra work of cleaning up the aftermath.

[momtoS]

Everyday. Gotta go...being screamed at by a three year old.

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by mommariffic

This morning I woke up and realized something:
My DH gets to wake up, take a shower, and go to work each day where his accomplishments are validated with a paycheck, and praise. But as a mum I often get negative stuff: "is dinner ready? how come this this and this is wrong? Or hasn't been done yet?"

Man, some days I just want someone to appreciate the fact that I've kept my kids alive and thriving without loosing it!

yes! I've had this exact same conversation with my DH. You get a paycheck each month and pats on the back all the time-- "oh excellent report, good analysis, etc."

I get peed on, barfed on, yelled at, and my nipples bitten.

I think part of this is why I need some kind of gig outside of parenting--something that I can control, that is meaningful, and yes a paycheck is nice. Like major_mama11, I feel like if I am working, I can understand the other side of the coin, being a working father is tough, too.

[KSDoulaMama]

Originally Posted by carmel23

yes! I've had this exact same conversation with my DH. You get a paycheck each month and pats on the back all the time-- "oh excellent report, good analysis, etc."

I get peed on, barfed on, yelled at, and my nipples bitten.

This cracked me up!

My wife is amazing and I never feel like I'm not appreciated, at least this far into the game. However, me staying home was something that we rearranged our entire lives in order to do. (I gave up my career, we moved out of state.) It is something that is very important to both of us. But mostly I think I am just lucky.

Have you spoken to your DH about it?

[Hokulele]

All. The. Time. This is a huge issue for me right now.

I've been a SAHM for 5+ years now and just this semester started taking a night class part for fun and part in the hopes that I can eventually get a part-time job in this field. All of a sudden, in taking this class and finding out how hard it is just to get a few measly hours to do something OTHER than parent, I'm realizing how much I do that no one notices / appreciates.

Last night I was trying to do a homework assignment but my 5yo had all kinds of sleep issues so I ended up being up 1/2 the night and I STILL don't have the assignment done (due tonight!!) It didn't matter what I said, no one in the house seemed to care that I actually had something ELSE I needed to be working on other than the kids.

If I hadn't had this assignment to worry about, I wouldn't have even noticed that DH doesn't do ANY night time parenting. Or "problem" parenting (meaning dealing with the kids when they have a problem). We've all become so used to this all being my "job" that it occurred to no one that maybe I couldn't do both (assignment and deal with DD).

I think I'm burnt out. I love SAHM but it would be really nice to get some real honest appreciation or recognition from some source!!

[november]

So far, I've yet to feel unappreciated and I am very thankful for that. My daughter is only 11 months old but my DH is very good at making me feel like he appreciates everything I do for our family and for my daughter. Even before I was a SAHM he was this way though so it's just his personality, I guess.

[AngieB]

This thread has perfect timing. I have been thinking about this so much lately. I think I'm at a all time low in my sahm career. I feel bored, lonely, trapped and unappreciated. I feel like I have given up myself for the family and no one seems to notice. and if I have to do one more load of laundy, pick up someone elses garbage off the ground, cook another meal that no one will eat...I'm going to go crazy.

[Chicky2]

Originally Posted by AngieB

This thread has perfect timing. I have been thinking about this so much lately. I think I'm at a all time low in my sahm career. I feel bored, lonely, trapped and unappreciated. I feel like I have given up myself for the family and no one seems to notice. and if I have to do one more load of laundy, pick up someone elses garbage off the ground, cook another meal that no one will eat...I'm going to go crazy.

Well, except for the part about a meal no one will eat, this is me right now. I just wish someone would give me a suggestion as to what to make for them to eat. We are under alot of stress right now, and my hormones are wacky, and I think I'm losing it at least 3 times daily.

[dakotablue]

Yeah, Pretty often when Dh asks why Z didn't get done, but I did do A
through X and was in the process of doing Y.

I hate that he complains when I want to take a shower. He gets one all by himself everyday.

He complained to his therapist (seeing for anxiety and moodiness) and he told him point blank, "do her job for three days and you'll never complain again."

But overall, I'd rather be here than anywhere else.

[CherryBombMama]

oops, wrong post.

please delete.

[Addie]

Originally Posted by november

So far, I've yet to feel unappreciated and I am very thankful for that. My daughter is only 11 months old but my DH is very good at making me feel like he appreciates everything I do for our family and for my daughter. Even before I was a SAHM he was this way though so it's just his personality, I guess.

This is me, too, right down to the 11 month old.

Thats not to say I don't get worn out, because I do. But I do feel appreciated.