They keep waking the baby and I am like a monster

[mom2happy]

The baby is almost 6 months now and it is so hard to get her to take a nap. When I finally nurse or walk around with her until she sleeps, one of the other kids wakes her up. It is so frustrating that I feel unbelievably angry every time it happens. I've tried so
long to resolve this issue and now I just can't take it. I've been yelling and making such a horrible mad face every time they do it. Our house is small so I know it's hard for them, but it's just an impossibe situation sometimes. I can't stand being so angry.

[Minxie]

Oh, Mama, what's wrong?

[madskye]

take a deep breath and walk away. Even if you think you can't. Just a minute can make a big difference in getting it back under control.

[mom2happy]

I was trying to find the right words to explain how I feel. I feel like I've been making the most horrible faces at my kids when they are doing something loud.
It wasn't this way before the baby. I'm always worried they are going to wake her so when she is sleeping I'm like a dragon. It makes me feel terribly ungentle but I can't help it.
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[Minxie]

Originally Posted by mom2happy

The baby is almost 6 months now and it is so hard to get her to take a nap. When I finally nurse or walk around with her until she sleeps, one of the other kids wakes her up. It is so frustrating that I feel unbelievably angry every time it happens. I've tried so
long to resolve this issue and now I just can't take it. I've been yelling and making such a horrible mad face every time they do it. Our house is small so I know it's hard for them, but it's just an impossibe situation sometimes. I can't stand being so angry.

Are you trying to keep them quiet while she naps? That might be counter-productive as it sets you up for a several-year-timespan of trying to keep the house quiet so she can sleep. It was just me and DS so sometimes I would deliberately run the vacuum or the dishwasher while he napped so that he wasn't dependent on the quiet.

How old are the older kids? Would they watch a show quietly? Or color? Or play outside?

[mommy2maya]

I found that the best answer for this was to keep a noisy household with lots of background noise. Keeping a fan running in the bedroom helped a lot to keep my babies asleep. Sometimes I have the tv or radio on where she sleeps to help filter out regular house/kid noises. It is super frustrating tho- I am still going thru it now and my baby is 2.5 now. Just last week, when I was putting her to bed, my 7yo and 9yo both came into the room to let me know a show was starting. It took the whole length of the show for her to fall asleep, where if they wouldn't have come in the room repeatedly she would have been asleep in a few minutes. The consequence for them was to miss a show they were really looking forward to and going to bed early.

[Minxie]

Originally Posted by mommy2maya

I found that the best answer for this was to keep a noisy household with lots of background noise.

My neighbor has four kids, the youngest of whom is six months. There are always neighborhood kids, mine included, running in and out of her house. She doesn't even try to have a quiet house; the baby just falls asleep in the middle of the commotion.

Will she sleep if you keep her in the living space with the rest of you? I remember when I was a child that I would not nap elsewhere in the house; I liked to be in the thick of it and only then would I fall asleep. My mom said I would go to my room to get my blankie and lay down in the middle of the living room floor.

[midnightmommy]

I feel for you both of my kids were light sleepers. To the point that a floor board squeaking would wake them up. When you have a child like that running the vacuum while they sleep is so not an option. Their eyes blink open and they scream blood murder. I never got what I was supposed to do next. Let the scream themselves back to sleep or pick them us and repeat the process over and over until we are both in tears and no one sleeps. The fan works sometimes, but our house is small. It only goes so far.

My son is six so he understands that the baby has to sleep. We came to an agreement. He can try to be quite and stay with me or he has to go play somewhere else. Most of the time he had to go play in his room, or I put a movie on for him in our room. (A huge treat to get to watch tv in our room.) I had to promise him it would get better, and it has. Now he is rewarded for all his quite play while I get her to sleep with Mommy's undivided attention.

[mom2happy]

Originally Posted by Minxie

My neighbor has four kids, the youngest of whom is six months. There are always neighborhood kids, mine included, running in and out of her house. She doesn't even try to have a quiet house; the baby just falls asleep in the middle of the commotion.

Will she sleep if you keep her in the living space with the rest of you? I remember when I was a child that I would not nap elsewhere in the house; I liked to be in the thick of it and only then would I fall asleep. My mom said I would go to my room to get my blankie and lay down in the middle of the living room floor.

I tried to get her used to the noise from the beginning, but she is easily startled and reboots the minute she wakes up. It's so hard!
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[lach]

Oh this was us. It was awful.

My solution was probably something that could get me reported I'd lock older DD in the living room with a bowl of snacks and the TV on (normally she didn't and still doesn't watch any TV) and not let her out until DB had been asleep for an hour. I'd go in there and be with her as soon as I got the baby to sleep... but sometimes that took a while. She HATED it, but it was the only way to make sure that the baby got his naps!

(and the door wasn't REALLY locked. But she couldn't get it open. If she could have, I would have figured out a way to lock it. She really needed to stay in there because it was the only room in the house far enough away from DB's bedroom that she didn't wake him up.)

[mamazee]

My older one would sleep through noise, and I assumed it was because I didn't keep the house quiet and she got used to it. Then the younger one came, and I did the exact same things, and she needs silence to sleep. So I understand.

Still, I think you might have better luck getting some kind of white noise machine or running a fan than keeping toddlers or very young children quiet. It is an effort to get my 8-year-old to stay quiet through a whole nap. I just don't think it's possible to keep really young ones quiet so long.

[NiteNicole]

I tried to get her used to the noise from the beginning, but she is easily startled and reboots the minute she wakes up. It's so hard!

Mine was like this - light sleeper and she would come FULLY awake every time (like, eyes wide open and babbling). Ugh.

I only have one, but I was a nanny for a family with two many years ago. Granted, I only had to do it a few days a week but my solution was to play a game or go outside (the baby slept in another room and I had a monitor so I could hear her when she woke), do a craft, whatever - but "we can only do it till the baby wakes up, so we must be very quiet."

Could you do something like that? Start them on something fun that ONLY lasts as long as the baby sleeps? I find that the act of gluing anything to anything else is endlessly entertaining to anyone under about 9 or so.

I also put a very LOUD humidifier in my daughter's room. My husband works from home and does not have a quiet button at ALL. He pretty much shouts on the phone. This helped somewhat. She had a loud constant white noise close to her head so I don't think all his bumping around and loud talk got through to her as much as it would in a perfectly quiet house. I also tried to start a load in the drier and maybe have a full dishwasher to run. ANY white noise to mask his noise.

My last thought is this - my daughter and her sleep brought out the worst in me. I think it is some kind of instinctual gut reaction. I never made a mean face at my non-existent other kids but I sure said some nasty things to my husband. The baby's sleep is something you AND the baby both need desperately but ultimately, you have so little control. That just made me SO angry. Oh my gosh, getting her to sleep and then the poor UPS man ringing the bell? TOTAL RAGE. Try not to be too hard on yourself! You have a lot going on and you're looking for solutions so give yourself some credit for that!

[Lineymom]

I can relate. I have 2 boys 5 and 8 (homeschooled) and an 11mo DD. Despite me actually having them be noisy and her sleeping in the same room as we were during the day as a newborn, she is the lightest sleeper.

Now that it is not 100+ degrees outside anymore, I send them outside to play before naptime and when they come in they can't go past the kitchen. Its the only way for us.