First of all, I am so sorry for your losses. And you are right, I cannot even begin to imagine. But I do know that the depth of what I can 'see' that you feel is indescribable. I want you to know that I can see the pain feels never ending. We have had loss of children within my family (My Mom's siblings) and I have been told by my Gma that you never truly heal completely, so I won't tell you that you will. But I do want to share that it does get a little easier at some point. I'm sure it's different for everyone. But my Mom lost two siblings at a very young age and a family I'm close to lost their teenage daughter not that long ago. They have told me it gets a little easier to face each day. And the pain isn't quite so bottomless after a long time. I just wanted to share that with you. I know I risk saying the wrong thing and I hope that I haven't. I hope that somewhere on a really dark day you may reflect on knowing that others that have gone through it and they say it will get a little easier eventually. Sort of like a mantra, if that's all you can do to get through that moment, that day, then so be it.
In answer to your question, I want to tell you that I see that you have two more children in your future. I think you will have a 2011 baby as the first and it looks to me like it's a possibility of twins or two very very close together.
I wish you healing of that bottomless pit of pain, so that it at least feels like there is cap on it, like it doesn't always have to feel that bad. I sincerely hope you know what I mean by what I am saying.