Is there a reason to ask for differentiation if your child isn't asking for it?

[Freeman]

I have been thinking about this off and on for a while, so I figured I would post and see what you all thought. I haven't asked for differentiation at school for my first-grader, and ds hasn't expressed a desire for it. Comments on how school is "easy," but doesn't seem bothered by that. Moans and groans about homework, even though he gets through it quickly. Honestly, likes socializing and recess the best, I think...very extroverted, outgoing, and active. At first I thought, wait a minute -- he can read books beyond this level; he can do math harder than this; he can be moving ahead more quickly w/ academics...But does he need to be, if he isn't seeking it out at school? I sort of concluded I would just wait to see if he seeks out to do more on his own but wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something here. For example, if everything comes "easily" in the earlier grades, will he be more likely to meet eventual challenges with resistance? Is there a need to intervene if the child isn't unhappy? He is the youngest in the class, and that's another reason why I haven't sought out more challenges for him. His fine motor skills are not advanced for his age (does complain sometimes about all the writing in first grade), and I think he struggles with keeping his activity level and talkativeness in check for the classroom. So, he is working on other things.

[whatsnextmom]

I think it depends on the type of differentiation your are talking. The trick is recognizing what your child loves in school and making sure differentiation isn't going to take that away. If he is happy in class with his classmates, he'll likely resent anything that iscolates him. However, I would perhaps consider some milder accomodations. For example, is he being pre-tested in spelling words? If so, is he passing most of those words? It wouldn't be a big deal for the teacher to replace the words he got right with a few more challenging words to work on for the week. Are they doing any individualized reading? If so, bumping him up a level or letting him do his projects on reading material of his choice can be helpful without making him feel like he's be given "extra" work. Math is a little tougher in the early grades to differentiate without iscolating but you might consider asking and see what the options are. Something my DS loved was computer time in class. He was quite advanced in math so the teacher would allow him to replace some of the math stations with more advanced computer math games. It did pull him away from his peers but the fun of more computer counteracted that.

I know how you feel. My youngest is much like your son. We dealt with it by placing him in an immersion school where the new language added some challenge naturally to the early grades. He is also youngest in his class and has fine motor issues. About 3rd grade, he started asking for more and so more accomodations were put in place. As a 5th grader, it doesn't phase him a bit that he's pull-out of class for more agressive accomodation.

Just keep an eye on your DS for an increase in behavioral issues and/or dissatisfaction.

[Tjej]

Well, I guess I was that kid and I wish that someone would have differentiated for me, so I say "do something", but of course I'm just projecting my hindsight of my young life onto the life of your son.

I was friendly, happy, easy-going. I look back at my younger years and see sooo much wasted time and energy. I could have learned new things instead of practicing my mirror-writing, cartooning, tutoring, etc. Maybe if I had a job as a mirror-writer, illustrator or tutor I wouldn't see it as negatively...

Also, I think that not being challenged built up my perfectionism. It didn't make me that way, but it sure didn't help me get beyond it.

Tjej

[straighthaircurly]

Wow, your son is exactly like my son. I could have written that exact description. My son actually resisted differentiation in 1st grade. But his teacher and I could both see that he needed a push. She moved him up a reading group even though he had been resisting reading the beginner phonics books. Amazing change in him. He was suddenly interested in reading and his reading level and comprehension shot through the roof. She and I also decided to push him in math as well but because he really liked getting a chance to sort of show off as well as help teach other kids she told him that if he worked on the more challenging material a couple days a week then he could have a couple days where he chose which level he wanted to do. He also had writing difficulties so she did some modifications in those areas so that doing the more challenging work didn't necessarily mean he would have to do extra writing. We also sought some occupational therapy to help him with his lagging writing skills.

The main reason I pushed for differentiation is that I saw him avoiding challenges in all parts of his life. He liked playing it safe and he hated ever being wrong or not knowing an answer. I don't think that is a healthy attitude to have in life. So I asked to have him pushed a little. It has worked well. I love seeing his face light up when he completes a math problem that required a lot of planning and figuring. He and I talk about how in our family you are expected to challenge yourself to the point where you don't know all the answers, because that is the point where you really start to learn. DH and I also make a point of pushing ourselves to learn new things and to step out of our comfort zone (like DH teaching himself programming and me learning to drive a skid steer this summer).

Now if pushing for differentiation would create anxiety or other negatives for the child, I would rethink it.

[no5no5]

Originally Posted by Tjej

Well, I guess I was that kid and I wish that someone would have differentiated for me, so I say "do something", but of course I'm just projecting my hindsight of my young life onto the life of your son.

FWIW, I feel exactly the same way.

[St. Margaret]

I also agree with Tjej. I just went along with whatever was handed to me in elementary school; I never had any sense of needing to direct my own learning until I was older. I would have already have read the books, or read the entire novel the day it was handed out to us. And I wouldn't say anything, even if I was sitting bored in the class for the next weeks as the class worked through it. A few teachers would find me out and then give me other books to read, but only once or twice. I'm sure I was already in different groups for some subjects, but my favorite, language arts, I'm sure I needed more and I too wonder about perfectionism, and what might have happened if I was really directed instead of just left to sneak in rereadings of easy books I had handy.

[loraxc]

The main reason I pushed for differentiation is that I saw him avoiding challenges in all parts of his life. He liked playing it safe and he hated ever being wrong or not knowing an answer. I don't think that is a healthy attitude to have in life. So I asked to have him pushed a little. It has worked well. I love seeing his face light up when he completes a math problem that required a lot of planning and figuring. He and I talk about how in our family you are expected to challenge yourself to the point where you don't know all the answers, because that is the point where you really start to learn.

This is the reason I would ask for it, even if my child wasn't. DD is not a child who likes to stay "safe," and as of now she is okay with being wrong. However, I feel like she is getting too attached to the good feeling of always getting 10/10 (or whatever). You need to get something wrong once in a while, IMO.

[Freeman]

Thanks to all for your thoughts. For reading, he's already in the group w/ the more advanced readers; the group seems to be reading shorter chapter books so far. So, differentiation in terms of more challenging material for any individual reading time would have to be the way to go there, I guess. (I'm not sure at this point whether there is much individual in-class reading time or not, though.) Perfectionism has not really been an issue, at least not to the extent that it's apparent to me. He will write stories at home without being too concerned about spelling, etc. He tends to do things quickly w/out a particular concern for neatness. If he gets something wrong, he isn't particularly bothered by it. If I ask him if he knows what the answer was supposed to be, it almost always turns out to be a careless error.

Originally Posted by whatsnextmom

I think it depends on the type of differentiation your are talking. The trick is recognizing what your child loves in school and making sure differentiation isn't going to take that away. If he is happy in class with his classmates, he'll likely resent anything that iscolates him. However, I would perhaps consider some milder accomodations. For example, is he being pre-tested in spelling words? If so, is he passing most of those words? It wouldn't be a big deal for the teacher to replace the words he got right with a few more challenging words to work on for the week. Are they doing any individualized reading? If so, bumping him up a level or letting him do his projects on reading material of his choice can be helpful without making him feel like he's be given "extra" work. Math is a little tougher in the early grades to differentiate without iscolating but you might consider asking and see what the options are. Something my DS loved was computer time in class. He was quite advanced in math so the teacher would allow him to replace some of the math stations with more advanced computer math games. It did pull him away from his peers but the fun of more computer counteracted that.

Great suggestions here- I don't think he would like anything that would isolate him. I do think he would like math time on the computer, or anything on the computer, actually. He is quite passionate about the computer!

Originally Posted by whatsnextmom

Just keep an eye on your DS for an increase in behavioral issues and/or dissatisfaction.

Talking and playing during class time is an issue at times. I haven't been able to determine whether this is due to personality, maturity, not having enough to do, or a combination of these things. I don't know; I guess I'm just a little torn w/regard to differentiation b/c it just seem like a delicate balance. On the one hand, I do want him to be challenged, engaged, and working up to his potential. On the other hand, I think, wait--he's only 6; he has plenty of years left in school & plenty of time to do more.

[rusticity]

I have a 1st grader too - a girl. She is a very advanced reader - Series of Unfortunate Events, Wizard of Oz & tons of nonfiction and her math skills are quite advanced as well. For the most part, she does not get any in class differentiation & she loves, loves school even though she has talked about how easy it is & wonders when it will get more difficult. I've asked her about getting in class differentiation but at this point, she doesn't seem that interested. The teacher did give her an appropriate level book & some play doh for her to use if she finishes early -- she seems thrilled with the play doh! However, she does have differentiation for homework. I basically said (nicely) that unless the teacher had more challenging homework, we'd just opt out of doing homework (this would have been a fine option for me) as it was just busy work & DD has so many other interests. For math, she has been getting a sheet of equations (multi-digit addition/subtraction with carrying/borrowing) 3 times a week. She is thrilled with this too even though it too comes easily to her. Her language arts homework is typically taken from a 2nd-3rd grade level workbook and again, it comes pretty easily to her but it's much better than the 1st grade stuff. We are also responsible for changing her spelling words at home - for example, the word that comes home is "pack" & we turn it in to "package"

At this stage, we are not looking at school as a place of real challenge academically. DD started piano about 6 month ago & that has proved to be an area where the mastery is taking a bit of persistence/practice - same with her mastery of the monkey bars last year - a year long pursuit. She has lots of activities & interests so we are okay with school being perhaps a place to just enjoy socially & decompress.

I think it's just something to keep an eye on & to discuss options with your DS at intervals during the year. Good luck.

[Phoebe]

You have described my son...an extroverted 1st grader, very talkative and enjoys gym and recess, doesn't complain.
I have chosen to ask for differentiation for him simply because my educational goal for him at this point is just to keep him moving forward. Otherwise, why is he at school, other than recess,etc. I specifically want more challenging work for him...not more work though.
I had him academically assesed last year just as an aid to us in deciding how to school him. Knowing the results of this testing, I find it unbearable for him to be learning 1st grade level things when he functions at a 4-6th grade level in most subjects...except life experience.

This is truly a personal choice an what's good for one isn't good for all. I suppose I just feel like it's my job, not his or even his teacher's to make sure he is being educated. As it stands, there is no education happening.

I'm very curious to hear other's replies.

[wendy23]

I am interested in this discussion as well. My son is in second grade but is a lot like yours. He loves gym and recess and lunch. He does the least possible to get by and is happy with that. He is a great day dreamer and a deep thinker. He can take whatever easy story or lesson they are doing and think about it in different ways so as not to get bored, which is a great quality. But I would like him to be challenged in some respect. I have not had much success though. I met with the teacher and she assured me she would, but I haven't really seen it. Parent teacher conferences are next Monday, so I am hoping for some more progress there.
That said, I know he is only in second grade, but as of this time, he is going to be in the public school system for his education, and I want him to view it as a place where you do learn. I will continue to try to get more differentiation, because even though he doesn't "seem" to want it, I can tell how much he loves to learn, and I want school to provide that.
He did start Spanish after school though, so I am happy that he is learning something new. Although they have grouped the first and second graders together and the class could move a little faster. He does love it though, and he is engaged and learning, so that is good.

[Freeman]

Originally Posted by Phoebe

You have described my son...an extroverted 1st grader, very talkative and enjoys gym and recess, doesn't complain.
I have chosen to ask for differentiation for him simply because my educational goal for him at this point is just to keep him moving forward. Otherwise, why is he at school, other than recess,etc. I specifically want more challenging work for him...not more work though.
I had him academically assesed last year just as an aid to us in deciding how to school him. Knowing the results of this testing, I find it unbearable for him to be learning 1st grade level things when he functions at a 4-6th grade level in most subjects...except life experience.

This is truly a personal choice an what's good for one isn't good for all. I suppose I just feel like it's my job, not his or even his teacher's to make sure he is being educated. As it stands, there is no education happening.

I hope I'm not coming across as lackadaisical with regard to his education...I wouldn't be posting about this if I were. I have seen him learning other things in Spanish, Music, Art, PE, Language Arts, etc. Before this year, he wouldn't really sit down and write stories for fun. Now he writes stories and illustrates them, probably as a result of the increased writing he is doing in school. And, of course, I think his social skills are improving as he navigates the world of first grade. I see him moving forward in many ways, but he could go further in the areas of Reading and Math.

rusticity: I like the idea of more challenging, not just "more," homework. Some of it seems pretty pointless and easy.

[Phoebe]

I certainly don't think you're being laksidasical in the least. There is something to be said for letting a child be his own guide. In fact, I think I come across as a control freak!!
Yesterday ds said he doesn't care that he is learning 1st grade work and that he likes to "re-learn" stuff. He wants to do what his buddies are doing even if he's working on a level he had mastered years ago.

No judgement here I assure you! I find it interesting to see other approaches since I am so damn inflexible.

[A&A]

Your kid only knows the life he has. So you have to advocate for his needs even if he doesn't know what to ask for, or how things could be different.