For families who use DVD's how do you/do you limit?

[foodmachine]

Do you decide when it's DVD time or do let your child decide when to watch?
If you decide, how do you decide when/ how often is ok?
If your child requests DVD time, how do you decide when/ how often is ok?
Do you set time limits?

Thanks for your viewpoints.

[cjam]

I have a different approach for each of my kids.

DD5 is a very responsible TV watcher. She asks to watch TV once in a while, usually if she's not feeling great, it's only one of her many ways to relax/chill/veg. She turns the TV off, without being told, when the program is done, usually it's a 25 minute program, occasionally a movie. I generally like to let her watch whenever she wants to because she's very good at self moderating.

DD4 is another story. She would be a couch potato if I let her. I try to only let her watch TV on Sunday mornings because having a routine works so much better than being arbitrary, much less fighting with her this way.

If I only had one child, it would be simple for me, but how to I merge the two approaches. I hate saying no to DD5 because she's so responsible on her own, but saying yes disrupts the routine that I'm trying to establish for DD4. GRR. I hope one of my approaches can help you.

[ChetMC]

What We Did

We will suggest a DVD if we need the kids to sit quietly like zombies on the chesterfield. For example, if DH has a telephone interview, or if DH has a meeting with a client, or if we've hired a trades person who is being paid by the hour and does not require the services of an entourage of tiny groupies.

If the kids ask for a video I will sometimes put one in. More often, I will suggest another activity or differ the video to a time that will be more useful.

Our kids are little and I don't want to waste a DVD when everybody is in a good mood and perfectly capable of playing without any issues. I might suggest they wait until our oldest gets home from school (when I'm making supper). They can respect their sister wanting to watch too, and then I can plan to use the time that they're watching the most efficiently.

Our kids have gone months without watching any videos. Some weeks they might watch ten or twenty hours though (there was a lot of videos when we were moving).

I find that I can always suggest something that the kids would rather do than watch a video though. If they ask I never have to say no.

We don't have any limits like x number of minutes per day.

[Nazsmum]

We watch maybe a "show" a day. When the show is over then the TV goes OFF! That is it. If someone is not feeling good then we will watch a movie. The thing is, once it is over it go off.

[onlyzombiecat]

Dd watches dvds as she feels like it mostly. She seems good at self limiting her time with them.

[peainthepod]

DS is 25 months and pretty good at limiting himself. He loses interest in shows fairly quickly and is great at self-directed and imaginative play. I just had a second baby seven weeks ago so we've been leaning on DVDs more than I'd like--mostly Wallace and Gromit and The Snowman, his favorites. But once we're out of the newborn stage I'll be limiting his screen time much more strictly again. Right now, being able to reliable occupy him for a few minutes is keeping us all from slipping over the brink of insanity.

[jrose_lee]

Hi!

  We were completely TV and DVD free until DS1 was 3.5 and we had DS2.  Now, DS1 watches one DVD every day for his "rest time".  He hasn't napped since he was 2.  So, Ds2 goes to sleep and DS1 watches a DVD for an hour or so.  And I can usually get about 45 min to myself in the middle of the day to recharge.  I think we will continue this approach because I need a break and the kids need a time when they chill mid-day.  It works for us so far.  I was so against any screen time in the beginning but my standards lowered when we had two kids.

[emmaegbert]

so... I'm interested in this thread and want to tag along. I have a just-turned 6yo who is still DVD/TV-free and a 1.5yo who I intend to keep that way for several years.

1) for people who are completely sure that they do NOT want videos or TV to happen on anything like a daily basis (I am thinking 30-60 minutes PER WEEK max for my 6yo) does just having a once-a-week set video time work best? And in that case, if you miss that video time (due to other things going on) do you just skip it for the week or "reschedule"

2) how do you handle letting the older watch and not the younger? is that possible? They have the same bedtime. Is younger's naptime the only choice in that case?
 

I find my 6yo lately is asking to watch movies, but as another poster said, I can almost always suggest another activity that supplants that idea. And he hasn't actually started watching movies yet... just discussing the idea that he *could*. Truth is, its so not a part of his life that it doesn't really occur to him at any given moment "now is the time for movies"...

[suziek]

My children rarely ever ask for a movie, and when they do I put them off with a "let's see what the weekend brings" or "okay, we'll be at the library later in the week and we'll pick out something" or something like that. Sometimes we'll follow through and sometimes we forget.

We --or they-- will end up watching something about once every three weeks. It is a big event, and what we watch is usually worth the time (there was a brief period when Scooby Doo was the favorite, however).

If we watch more frequently my 4 year old will nag to watch movies, which I don't let sway me. If we reach a point were I get a lot of requests I think it's a sign we are watch too frequently (as can happen when the flu sweeps in or a home-improvement project is underway), and we'll try to go a month or so without screen time. For the last two summers have been completely screen free (excepting one 45 minute math thing my oldest ds watched).

Sometimes I want them to watch something--if I'm feeling really sick or need to deal with something or I have something really terrific for them to watch but I end up refraining because there really isn't a need. They are reading or playing or making something or chatting so why would I interupt that?

A weekly family movie night is a nice idea, except I fear other things might not happen if we did that, and to avoid the issues emmaebert raised :"does just having a once-a-week set video time work best? And in that case, if you miss that video time (due to other things going on) do you just skip it for the week or "reschedule".

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by suziek 

My children rarely ever ask for a movie, and when they do I put them off with a "let's see what the weekend brings" or "okay, we'll be at the library later in the week and we'll pick out something" or something like that. Sometimes we'll follow through and sometimes we forget.

We --or they-- will end up watching something about once every three weeks. It is a big event, and what we watch is usually worth the time (there was a brief period when Scooby Doo was the favorite, however).

If we watch more frequently my 4 year old will nag to watch movies, which I don't let sway me. If we reach a point were I get a lot of requests I think it's a sign we are watch too frequently (as can happen when the flu sweeps in or a home-improvement project is underway), and we'll try to go a month or so without screen time. For the last two summers have been completely screen free (excepting one 45 minute math thing my oldest ds watched).

Sometimes I want them to watch something--if I'm feeling really sick or need to deal with something or I have something really terrific for them to watch but I end up refraining because there really isn't a need. They are reading or playing or making something or chatting so why would I interupt that?

A weekly family movie night is a nice idea, except I fear other things might not happen if we did that, and to avoid the issues emmaebert raised :"does just having a once-a-week set video time work best? And in that case, if you miss that video time (due to other things going on) do you just skip it for the week or "reschedule".

thanks for this reply. so far we're getting requests but it hasn't materialized into any actual movie-watching. I am just trying to think about how to handle it if it does. I like the idea that nagging (different from occasionally asking, of course) for movies is a sign there has been too much movie watching.

[HidaShara]

We let DD (who is 30 months) watch a DVD once a week or once every 2 weeks, roughly.  She actually isn't really that keen on television, and the odd time she asks and we say "no", that's the end of the conversation and she happily goes off to do something else.  We could probably get away with never watching anything with her, but we do enjoy a movie or episode of "Old School" Sesame Street every couple of weeks as a family activity.  

It also has to do with how much free time we all have.  DD is in daycare all day during the week, so none of us (including her) want to waste our small amount of "family" time in the evenings on a screen.  On weekends, or during vacations, we have a lot more time together, so a rare 30-to-90 minute DVD break is not a big deal.  When DD is sick, she tends to watch a lot more DVDs (maybe 1 show a day).  She doesn't have the energy to do much else. :/

[brennan]

Monday is dh's day off, so on that day we're all feeling a little lazy so that is our dvd day.  Dd gets to chose 1 dvd and we watch that all together in the afternoon.  We don't reschedule unless we are sick if we miss it.