?? about custody issue

[cupcakez<3]

okay here's my question...me and stbxh have decided on divorce. Gosh its so painful okay back on question prior to this he was bringing in the income while i was sahm for our two kids one is 3yrs old other will be 2yrs old. He decided on moving out next week leaving me with nothing basically since iwas staying home obviously i don't have a job. I'm planning on moving to my moms considering theres no extra rooms i can't take my kids :,(!!!! I am so heartbroken i don't want to be seperated from them since they were born I've ALWAYS been there..my only option is for him to take them (his planning on moving to his moms 2 extra rooms) until i get a job and get an apartment he ensures me he won't take them away from me but I'm so terrified he's gonna take them from me...can he do that? I'm so scared I'm gonna lose them i don't want to lose them at the fault of there father cheating on me. Nothing has been started no papers filed nothing considering this just happened last night...any input would be appreciative thank you for reading and thanks in advance for advice.

[Jessnet]

Possession is 9/10ths of the laws.

How long are you two going to wait until offical papers are filed? Can you trust him not to file while you are waiting to get back on your feet?
My understanding is, if they are filed at any time while he has the kids with him, the temporary orders will be submitted on record as your husband having primary custody and you being obligated for child support and visitation only. It would remain that way until the final orders are hammered out which is a process that can takes months or (in some cases) years...

Are there NO alternatives at all? If you've both agreed and are civil, can you delay the moving out process until you get on your feet?

I've been labeled "pro-dad" and even I would be very reluctant to let him keep the kids in this situation. (nothing personal, just because of the way the system works)

[cupcakez<3]

he is not moving from his decision i tried to talk to him last night to wait but he was a no go...he said he we could write out a contract stating the situation.and that he would return the kids to me when i get a job..apt..etc. and get it notorized?? honestly, i don't think he would file but I'm not gonna give him the benefit of the doubt at the risk of my our kids. who am really worried about are my in-laws i know there gonna push it on him

[hillymum]

If I were you I would stay in the marrital residence with your children, get yourself an attorney and file a status quo order to get your husband to continue paying all the bills and a temp spousal/ child support order so you do not go financially unsupported. Also apply for food stamps first thing Monday morning! Your husband is the one walking away, don't give him anything!

As to the emotion side of this, hugs to you and your two children! Reach out to your friends and family for support! Of course here is a great place to get support

[cupcakez<3]

sorry don't know how to post a reply to each person that's why I'm replying like this lol i am looking at attorneys sucks considering its saturday..wish it was monday so i can have a consultation with a attorney I'm going to see about a status quo order...about foodstamps we have tried we didn't qualify cause of his income are they gonna give me a hard time since were still legally married but he's not gonna be in the household? About staying in are residence he said he's not gonna pay this month rent...forcing us out early Nov.

[lookatreestar]

there is no way you can talk to the landlord? honestly id stay in until they try to evict... maybe that would buy you some time to get the paperwork in order?

i don't care if my mom didn't have an extra room. my kids and i would be sleeping on her living room floor.

[hillymum]

Sounds like you will need to apply for help with rent, bills and foodstamps! Your husband is planning on leaving you and your children destitute! He is not allowed to do that! Stay where you are, keep the children with you and get down to the office as soon as it opens. Next, find some attornies who will see you for an initial consultant for free and chose one. Do you have any joint credit cards? If so pay a retaining fee with them. Once you have all this help lined up you can start looking for a job and get your feet back on the ground.

[vannienicole]

Yeah, he can't just decide to evict his family. Go Monday to a lawyer and get a temporary order filed. Do not move and do not give him the kids. As far as food stamps goes, they won't count him if he moves out and leaves you with nothing.

Hillymum is right about the joint cards. pay the fee with them if you can and take some money out of your joint accounts pronto. Do not let him destory his family and walk away leaving you nothing. Until you guys separate, it is all legally yours too.

[Mackenzie]

Originally Posted by hillymum

If I were you I would stay in the marrital residence with your children, get yourself an attorney and file a status quo order to get your husband to continue paying all the bills and a temp spousal/ child support order so you do not go financially unsupported. Also apply for food stamps first thing Monday morning! Your husband is the one walking away, don't give him anything!

As to the emotion side of this, hugs to you and your two children! Reach out to your friends and family for support! Of course here is a great place to get support

He cannot just walk away. Definitely talk to the landlord. I am assuming he is on the lease as well so he is going to be legally obligated to pay. Apply for everything you can. Tell him he has walked out on you and your children, they will get you started with the courts.

[cupcakez<3]

omg thank you guys SOOOO much I'm literally in tears from thinking i had no options..this has helped me a tons!!!And yes if worst comes to.worst i will take my kids with me to my moms it isn't like she ll.say no to her grandbabies...yes first thing monday

[cupcakez<3]

luckly we don't own any credit cards...(check) one thing off the list

[incorrigible]

Originally Posted by cupcakez<3

luckly we don't own any credit cards...(check) one thing off the list

a tip from experience for further down the line...right before you FINALIZE (don't bother now, it won't do any good and you'll still need to do it again anyway) your divorce...do a free credit check on yourself. He can legally take out cards in your name while you're married. Mine had a post office box in only my name...took out at least 5 cards in my name, maxed them all out, had the bills going to this PO Box...and just stopped paying on the PO or using the cards after the divorce was final. Since I didn't know about the cards to include them in the divorce, I was held fully responsible for the balances. It wasn't fraud for him to sign up for or use the cards while we were married...and he was legally clear of all responsibility once the divorce was final, so long as I didn't catch him before that point, and he didn't have anything to do with the PO Box or credit cards as of that date. Your stbx sounds like a crafty one, to me, trying to trick you into giving up your kids and all. It's worth a free credit check to be safe, before signing the final agreement, when it's time.

[ImaSophie]

Originally Posted by hillymum

If I were you I would stay in the marrital residence with your children, get yourself an attorney and file a status quo order to get your husband to continue paying all the bills and a temp spousal/ child support order so you do not go financially unsupported. Also apply for food stamps first thing Monday morning! Your husband is the one walking away, don't give him anything!

As to the emotion side of this, hugs to you and your two children! Reach out to your friends and family for support! Of course here is a great place to get support

I agree with this 100%