Weekday - Weekend Routine

[goldenwillow]

Hi all!

Question: DS is 15 months

Does your routine with your LO change when your partner is home? DS and I have a great routine during the week. DP leaves for work at 5:30am. I nurse DS back to sleep and then I usually get up a little later, drink some tea/cup of joe, shower and have a little "me" time to catch up on things. DS usually wakes about an hour or so later.

On the weekends..... it all changes. DP wants to sleep in, rightfully so, however, it changes everything. DS sleeps better in the AM (after 5:30) alone.

Anyone experience this? I have conveyed to DP again this AM that we need to keep the routine we have during the week. When he gets up to pee, stay out of the bed. We have set up another sleep space for just this.

I feel that it works best for DS (and me) to do this. Is it me not being flexible? Urgh....

Any thoughts?

[sewchris2642]

From your dh's standpoint, yes, you are not being flexible. Why does your dh have to be the one to give in. You can skip your hour alone and have your son up with you so your dh can sleep in. After all, you get to have that hour alone for 5 days a week. All your dh is asking for is 2 days. That is not unreasonable on his part. Another solution is to get another matress, put it on the floor in your room and put ds on that when he falls back asleep. He gets to sleep alone, your dh gets to sleep in, and you get your hour in the morning. A win, win all around, especially since you already have another sleeping area set up. Use that for your son.

[Learning_Mum]

Originally Posted by sewchris2642

From your dh's standpoint, yes, you are not being flexible. Why does your dh have to be the one to give in. You can skip your hour alone and have your son up with you so your dh can sleep in. After all, you get to have that hour alone for 5 days a week. All your dh is asking for is 2 days. That is not unreasonable on his part. Another solution is to get another matress, put it on the floor in your room and put ds on that when he falls back asleep. He gets to sleep alone, your dh gets to sleep in, and you get your hour in the morning. A win, win all around, especially since you already have another sleeping area set up. Use that for your son.

But she's not saying he can't sleep in, she's just saying, when you get up to go to the toilet get in a different bed in a different room and go back to sleep.

I don't think that's unfair at all. It's a compromise. DH wants to sleep in, DS sleeps best alone and you want time alone in the mornings, seems like everyone's needs are getting met.

[goldenwillow]

Thank you Learning Mum! I appreciate that.

[sewchris2642]

I said from his standpoint. From Xantho's post, for whatever reason, her dh doesn't think so. "I feel that it works best for DS (and me) to do this. Is it me not being flexible? Urgh.... " I gave 2 other solutions for her to continue to search for a common solution with her dh. But regardless of what they decide to do on the weekends, for her to insist on her way (whatever it is) without brainstorming other ideas with her dh is making a mountain out of a mole hill. One that isn't worth it in the long term in their marriage.

[goldenwillow]

Originally Posted by sewchris2642

I said from his standpoint. From Xantho's post, for whatever reason, her dh doesn't think so. "I feel that it works best for DS (and me) to do this. Is it me not being flexible? Urgh.... " I gave 2 other solutions for her to continue to search for a common solution with her dh. But regardless of what they decide to do on the weekends, for her to insist on her way (whatever it is) without brainstorming other ideas with her dh is making a mountain out of a mole hill. One that isn't worth it in the long term in their marriage.

For the record....

I am not INSISTING that this is the way it should be. I am not a self absorbed mama that needs "me" time , however, I am one whom needs a few to wake up on my own. We have brainstormed ideas, this just seems to work in my home 5 out of 7 days a week. Our Baby wakes happy most days, unless he isn't feeling well, which is not often for which I am grateful.

Happy Baby = Happy Mama = Happy Papa

Please don't assume that we don't talk or tell me this will affect the long term in my marriage. DP and I are very connected, observant and considerate of each other. We are new parents, obviously, and working out how it could be better for our family. I appreciate your ideas, just not the other things you are assuming.

[sewchris2642]

Originally Posted by Xantho

Please don't assume that we don't talk or tell me this will affect the long term in my marriage. DP and I are very connected, observant and considerate of each other. We are new parents, obviously, and working out how it could be better for our family. I appreciate your ideas, just not the other things you are assuming.

My apology. I'm sorry for taking things in a manner other than what you meant.

I hear you about needing time alone in the mornings. I get up an hour before Dylan does just so I can drink my coffee in peace and quiet. His preferred way to wake up is by talking at people. In fact, I should be waking him up now as we need to leave the house by 8:15.

And dh agrees with you that your dh could easily go back to sleep in another room to let your lo sleep in the morning. That's what he would do if it was an issue with us. My dh is a morning person and wakes up by 5 am every morning regardless of if he is going to work or not. I've learned to live with it as he has learned to live with me. I'm a night owl and can't seem to go to bed much before midnight even if I know I have to get up early the next day. On the bright side, I always have fresh coffee waiting for me when I do get up. Dh loves me. He has also learned not to talk to me until after I've had my coffee. Now if only Dylan will learn that as well.