Is there a place to talk about pre-natal depression
In any case, it is pretty common, I think. I had it during my 3rd pregnancy and it was pretty rotten. I actually think I did better postpartum than early in pregnancy.
Here are a couple of threads that might be interesting to you.
Should I be ready for PPD
What about PRE-partum depression
My advice is that you do SOMETHING to treat it. There are lots of discussions in this forum about how to treat depression, both with medication and with more natural treatments. I hope you find something that works well for you.
But depression during pregnancy can largely be ignored-- even by care providers.
My last pregnancy, around 28 weeks, I experienced the worst period of depression/anxiety that I have ever had. I literally could not function. My husband, who works from home, would come into our bedroom, find me still in bed, and have to help me get dressed to go to work. He even once had to come pick me up from work, when I was too distraught to be there.
Absolutely awful. I was so sure that I'd have PPD, that I printed off sheets of 'signs' and had DH keep them so he could refer to them.
I just wanted to reassure you that it is very real, and doesn't necessarily mean that you will have postpartum depression. I ended up having a high needs, colicky baby, via traumatic c-section, and trouble breastfeeding. I was shocked when I found myself on a 6 month postpartum high, that, looking back, only ended when I got pregnant again at 7 mos pp. I would (limping, with a screaming baby in hands), tell anyone that it was the best time in my life. And it really, truly was.
Good luck, you're in my thoughts and prayers.
I am also going to try to eat better, I know that i should be eating more veggies as well.
I feel sad for you, reading your words, because I understand much about how you feel! The depression I had during this last pregnancy was almost enough for me to think I don't want to have any more babies! It was often a sad and horrible time. I hope that by now you've found some solutions for your situation; I know that this is about 2 months since the last post! Any updates?
I just want to say I am so sorry, and hugs to you! My experience was VERY similar. My first pregnancy with DS was great, but then I struggled with PPD. 2nd pregnancy (just had baby, DD, 3 weeks ago; DS and DD are 16 months apart) was extremely difficult!! Not physically - I had no complications. But emotionally it was SOOooo hard! It was also a home birth for me, first birth was in the hospital. It was my home birth midwife who suggested that my depression during pregnancy, along with some other issues in my health record and history, might be due to low progesterone. Low progesterone might be a possibility for your previous miscarriages, also. (Again, I am SO sorry that you've experienced those!) It might be something to check into, if you are still struggling with these issues. (just Google "low progesterone symptoms" for a list and details)
(If you're even still checking this thread:) If you're interested in talking more about any of it, let me know.
If you're not still checking, I hope it's because you found answers and things are going wonderfully for you now!!
I hope you'll see someone, a doctor, midwife, or therapist., and discuss this. I had pre-natal depression my first pregnancy. I did not quite realize it until after I had given birth, and put the pieces together. It was a very lonely and dark place, and I felt very, very guilty about feeling that way, and kept much of it to myself. The pregnancy was unplanned, and unwanted. I saw a therapist during this period and told her how I felt - her response was that whatever I felt toward the baby and pregnancy now, I would likely feel after giving birth. I was angry and upset to hear this from her, and stopped going to see her. In the end, she was unfortunately correct. I have postpartum depression now, and I regret not going in sooner, asking for help (though it seemed impossible to at the time, I could barely put my feelings into words, and thought I was going crazy), being put on a pregnancy approved anti depressant, or something, anything to get ahead of the PPD. I also told my midwife some about how I was feeling, her advice was not to think about it, that all would be well once the baby arrived, and also that thinking negative thoughts or having bad feelings would put the baby at risk (of what, I'm not sure - I was too young and naive to question her on this matter further). A load of crap the latter was! Having a severely depressed mother postpartum puts the baby at risk. Not speaking out and asking for help during the pregnancy! My best wishes and warm thoughts to you on your journey.
I had pretty awful pre-partum depression with my past pregnancy - also a pregnancy after a loss. Miscarriages drive home the undiscussed fact that pregnant people don't always go on to have babies. And once you have that in your head, as firmly as a loss or two will put it there, it's hard to connect to the pregnancy you have. It's nearly impossible not to fear another loss. Sometimes not thinking about it is the way we protect ourselves.
The way you feel now doesn't have to be the measure of the parent you will eventually be. My depression persisted post-partum - I had a complicated pregnancy and a premature baby, I had severe blood loss, trauma and anxiety associated with the blood loss, and a c-section (which was actually the least alarming thing that happened to me that night). For *months* loving my daughter was an act of will - I woke up every morning, and I did the things I thought that I would do if I loved her, all day, every day, because I believed I should do them. It wasn't until I was able to catch up on sleep that I could let go of that effort and love her without working so hard. Antidepressants helped me too. They weren't a miracle, they didn't fix everything, but when I felt less anxious, I could sleep and I could cope, and those are not small gifts.
My opinion is that you shouldn't wait to start the St. John's Wort. What good will come of four more weeks of suffering? If it doesn't help or if things get worse, you should seek out a therapist for more help.