Does any body out there actually have this???? - Page 2

[Baby_Cakes]

I do have one!

We text a lot more than we chat on the phone, but we do call each other and talk for an hour or so at least once a week. We are there for each other. She listens to me vent, laugh, or cry, and I do the same for her.

[mooshersmama]

Originally Posted by Harmony08

The Best Friend

Let me describe....

You know each other very well. You talk to each other 3 or more times a week. Sometimes you talk about the deepest parts of you. Other times you just laugh and chit chat about the day. You know she is there for you. If you called at 2 a.m. she'd be concerned and available. If she called you at 2 a.m. you would be concerned and available to her. You are as eager to hear about her life, her joys, and her struggles as you are to tell her about yours. When something happens to you, good or bad, you can't wait to tell her all about it.

So....anyone got one????

I kind of do... I am a pretty reserved person so I am not one to talk on the phone a lot (or call in the middle of the night) but I do have a friend who I KNOW would be there for me no matter what, and I would do the same for her.

[Annie Mac]

Interesting question. I just heard a show on the radio talking about just this. The person being interviewed was talking about how TV shows like Friends have set up unrealistic expectations of what role friends can and should play. I have two fantastic friends who would definitely be there for the 2 am call. However, due to moves over the years, I don't live in the same town as either of them anymore, so although I *could* call them in an emergency, I'm not sure how helpful either of them could be. Also, we don't have in depth discussions on a regular basis. We mostly keep in sporadic touch through Facebook, which isn't exactly conducive to deep thoughts. Once in a while, once or twice a year, I will actually see these women, at which point we will have a great time. However, other than my husband, I don't have anyone in my daily life that I could describe as The Best Friend. I'd love to though.

[rhiOrion]

I have at least two.

One is a mama of a son just about a year older than my DD. She is the one who turned me on to MDC. She lives nearby so we see each other regularly. I'm not a phone type, so we don't do a lot of phone chatting, but we do email back and forth. She's been completely priceless since my DD was born. She's a SAHM and has been known to run errands for me that I don't have time to run.

One is my super gay friend who lives about 4 hours away now, but I used to live with him back in the day. The first friend I mentioned is probably even closer to him in some ways, and she usually gets the highly coveted title of "fag hag" but I do talk to this friend frequently via email and chat (again, I'm not a phone person), and get together with him whenever we're in the same city. I absolutely know he'd be there for me. And I did once drive like 4 hours at 9pm to take him his spare key when he locked himself out of his car at the beach. And I rode with him late and night and into the morning on 9/11 (coincidence, but makes the date easy to remember) to get a spare key when he locked his keys in his car another time. And I know he'd do the same for me.

[Harmony08]

Originally Posted by cristeen

I do, except we don't talk that often any more. We both have busy lives. But when we do manage to connect on the phone, the chat easily lasts an hour, if the baby allows. But we used to be roommates, and would sit on eachother's beds gabbing into the wee hours instead of sleeping.

But she's absolutely there for the 2 am phone calls. This is the woman who during my loss, went to work for her 8 hours, drove the hour to the hospital, picked us up dinner, spent the entire evening with us, left somewhere around 2 am, drove the hour home so she could be at work at 8. She did that 3 days in a row while I was in the hospital. She drove down here once a week after work to do my grocery shopping and cook us dinner for 6 months after that.

And when DS was born, she gave up her days off to come down and help us out during my really long labor, just so DH could take a nap. She snuck out when I hit transition and missed the birth by 90 minutes.

I'd walk through fire for her, she's definitely done it for me.

This is beautiful

[texmati]

my sister would be like that.

I used to have a bf like that, but we've slowly grown apart. We used to joke that nothing in our life had really happened until we'd discussed it with one another. We were also roommates. After college I got married, got a job and am on baby #2. She went to school and traveled the world, but is now living just a 6-7 hour drive away. I'm going to call her on the way home!

[Harmony08]

This is all very interesting. I am now wondering if maybe I don't get a chance to talk to my friends much not because they don't love me but because they are in different life places. It seems like the people who have frequent phone contact with their BFs are people whose BFs are also SAHMs. Do you think??? It is just hard to understand some body else's life.

Thanks for all the replies, mamas! Very helpful.

[mandms]

Yes yes I do!! Although I've only had this friendship for a few years, its become a staple in my life! We talk at least every other day, if not daily. We have amazing and intense conversations, and some days we just chat to chat. It all depends On our household and noise level for the day! I know we are there for each other when its really needed and sometimes just for a pity party!

[tallulahma]

absolutely! i have a few, but unfortunately they are all in different states

i have one best friend that has been my best friend for 25 years! we may not always like each other, but we are ALWAYS there for each other.

i think friendships like this take time. one of my best friends and i took at least a year or so of knowing each other to get this close.

give it time.

[jess_paez]

no wish i did though!!

[LaLaLaLa]

Is it totally horrifying to everyone that I absolutely do NOT want this sort of friendship?

I hate talking on the phone and would be annoyed by anyone except my mom (LOVE my mom, of course!) who called me multiple times over the course of the week to chat about nothing and everything.

I don't want anyone calling me at 2 AM, and I can't even imagine calling anyone else in the middle of the night, except in the case of a dire emergency. And then I would call my mom, of course.

I'm very independent and don't like to discuss details of my life with others, nor get opinions on things that happen to me. I enjoy time to myself and don't want to be tied down to a best friend relationship. Horrible, I know. I'm one of those awful people referred to upthread who say they are interested in friendship but then never want to talk on the phone. I'm sorry, really I am!

I do have wonderful friends--a group of nine women I met when all of our firstborn kids were babies. Six years later we still have a casual weekly playdate. I love these women and am closer to some of them than I am to others, although all of us mesh pretty well together. I look forward to playdates and love having long conversations during the playdates, but I don't feel myself craving their company throughout the week, and I would never call them if it could possibly be avoided.

Sigh. Chalk it up to one more non-girly characteristic in a whole constellation of non-girly characteristics. I'm afraid I'm one of those women who is actually from Mars, not Venus.

[rhiOrion]

Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa

Is it totally horrifying to everyone that I absolutely do NOT want this sort of friendship?

I hate talking on the phone and would be annoyed by anyone except my mom (LOVE my mom, of course!) who called me multiple times over the course of the week to chat about nothing and everything.

I don't want anyone calling me at 2 AM, and I can't even imagine calling anyone else in the middle of the night, except in the case of a dire emergency. And then I would call my mom, of course.

I'm very independent and don't like to discuss details of my life with others, nor get opinions on things that happen to me. I enjoy time to myself and don't want to be tied down to a best friend relationship. Horrible, I know. I'm one of those awful people referred to upthread who say they are interested in friendship but then never want to talk on the phone. I'm sorry, really I am!

I do have wonderful friends--a group of nine women I met when all of our firstborn kids were babies. Six years later we still have a casual weekly playdate. I love these women and am closer to some of them than I am to others, although all of us mesh pretty well together. I look forward to playdates and love having long conversations during the playdates, but I don't feel myself craving their company throughout the week, and I would never call them if it could possibly be avoided.

Sigh. Chalk it up to one more non-girly characteristic in a whole constellation of non-girly characteristics. I'm afraid I'm one of those women who is actually from Mars, not Venus.

I don't think talking on the phone = best friends. Like I said, I hate the phone. One of my best friends is absolutely blown away and amazed if I actually answer. Usually his messages start with "I don't even know why you have a phone!"

And it's not like I call them at 2am for fun. It would be more the dire emergency type of thing. I've never actually had to call them at 2am, but if I *needed* to, they would be there.

That said, I think it's fine if you don't want that type of friendship. I just wanted to clarify that for me the details you mentioned aren't the important ones.

[triscuitsmom]

I definitely do I have one who is exactly what you describe, she and I talk daily pretty much actually.

Only one that fits that exact mold but I'm very lucky to have her, and also a couple of other people I know I could count on through anything as well that due to distance/circumstance we don't chat as often.

[limette]

Just dh.

When women get too close they inevitably do something horrible to me. So I don't really bother. I do have some close friends, but not THAT close.

I'm with a pp who said they wouldn't want that kind of friendship anyway. I'm just not that kinda of person with anyone other than dh. I totally agree with the Mars comment!

[IntuitiveJamie]

I am so so fortunate to have this. A resounding YES! And I know that it's a super special thing that I do have it. I have known her for 22+ years. We have been BFF's for the better part of it, but always, always friends. She is my soul sister. My life would not be complete without her in it. In fact, her and her daughter (whom I consider my niece) are coming to visit in a week!!!!!!!!!!!!
:j oy

[greenmulberry]

Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa

Is it totally horrifying to everyone that I absolutely do NOT want this sort of friendship?

I hate talking on the phone and would be annoyed by anyone except my mom (LOVE my mom, of course!) who called me multiple times over the course of the week to chat about nothing and everything.

I don't want anyone calling me at 2 AM, and I can't even imagine calling anyone else in the middle of the night, except in the case of a dire emergency. And then I would call my mom, of course.

I'm very independent and don't like to discuss details of my life with others, nor get opinions on things that happen to me. I enjoy time to myself and don't want to be tied down to a best friend relationship. Horrible, I know. I'm one of those awful people referred to upthread who say they are interested in friendship but then never want to talk on the phone. I'm sorry, really I am!

I do have wonderful friends--a group of nine women I met when all of our firstborn kids were babies. Six years later we still have a casual weekly playdate. I love these women and am closer to some of them than I am to others, although all of us mesh pretty well together. I look forward to playdates and love having long conversations during the playdates, but I don't feel myself craving their company throughout the week, and I would never call them if it could possibly be avoided.

Sigh. Chalk it up to one more non-girly characteristic in a whole constellation of non-girly characteristics. I'm afraid I'm one of those women who is actually from Mars, not Venus.

No, I am right there with you. I have a few friends I get together with occasionally for specific purposes (we have a similar hobby), but I have no need or desire for long conversations or close emotional contact what so ever. I do enjoy discussing topics in person when we are together, or the occasional shared dinner + spouses.

I hate chatting on the phone. It just seems like a waste of time to me!

It probably helps that I consider DH my best friend though, maybe that is why I have no desire for other close emotional/friendship outlets.

Although, if one of them was having an emergency and called me at 2 am, of course I would help, and I expect them to help me with things I need if they have the ability and it wouldn't be much of a burden. For instance, one of them travels a lot and I watch her dogs, and we borrow their truck for projects. But I also don't share any intimate personal stuff with her, I just don't see any reason too unless the topic is something she would have particular expertise on.

[starling&diesel]

I have one! I love her!

We rescued each other from miserable childhoods when we were nine, were inseparable all through high school, moved in together when we were nineteen, bungled and mangled our twenties together, and now live three doors apart.
She is auntie to my DD, was my unofficial 'doula' while my DP clutched my hand and worried, and is always over here for dinner and vice versa.
I can talk to her about a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g and trust that she will call me on my crap, should it be necessary.

I always wish this kind of best friend for other people, and am sad for people who don't have a very dear, true best friend.

[SeekingSerenity]

I used to. And I miss her.

[Fyrestorm]

Yes! We haven't missed day on the ohone or in person (excepting vacations before cell phones) in 28 years.

[mirlee]

Yup. My baby sister. We are 11 years apart and very close. There were times when I didn't think I could make it through a tough situation, but she was there. It's not that I can't share these same things with my dh, we do, but there is something different in sharing some things with someone who will completely understand every little nuance.