Any guilt after your third kid?

[citymagnolia]

After DD2 was born I had a definite mourning period for the loss of the one-on-one time and singular relationship I had with DD1. I felt guilty and sad. Just wondering if anyone had those feelings after their third child was born? It's kind of different since my 2 girls already share me, but sitting here right now, being my super-emotional pregnant self, I'm already kind of sad that it won't just be the 3 of us anymore.

[Aliy]

Honestly i don't know casue i'm in the same boat. number three will be making and appearance in 4 ish months.

But i just wanted to say (((HUGS))) to you and I understand your feelings I have great sadness before my second was born to the point where i would rock my sleeping son tellinghim how muched I loved him and How the new baby wasn't going to change that. I talk regualrly with both my boys about how mommy is going to be busy with the new baby but we will still try and get lots of time together.

I don't know we'll see how it goes

[Beverly]

I feel guilt and sadness over losing the "family that was" every time we have a new baby. We're expecting #5 in January, and I have the same mournful feeling this time around that I've had every other time. It can be rough, but thankfully it does pass.

[kawa kamuri]

For me there's ALWAYS an adjustment. I think it's pretty normal.

[othersomethings]

Hm. I'm only expecting#2 so I can't say I have experience here, but I'm really excited for DD to finally have a playmate. There will be an age gap but someone is better than no one. She's very social and NEEDS more than just me!

Also, I am the oldest of a large family...I have 10 siblings. And I don't remember feeling at any point growing up that my parents weren't there for me. We had all the one on one time we needed, even though it had to be creatively scheduled. (An early breakfast out with dad, an hour on the porch swing with mom, etc.) And I remember as a kid and a teenager, the only negative emotions I had any time a new sibling was announced was "Ugh, one more to babysit!" and as an adult I'm certainly way over that petty attitude. I love my large family and realize that if any one of those siblings weren't there, the family would be noticeably incomplete.

So I understand feeling a loss for "what was" but do give yourself a break. You're creating a better and more complete family! Hard to imagine, I know. But in time you'll see it. And hopefully, if you're raising your children well and they have good relationships, they'll 100% agree.

[butterflies]

I'm interested to hear others experiences and feelings as we prepare to make the jump to a "big family". I went through this transition and felt guilty when ds was born-- even though he really fit into our family quite smoothly. Very little jealousy from dd and he was an easy-going baby all around.

I love the idea of a big family and am excited but also nervous!

[justduckyangie]

You know I didn't have any going from 2-3, but going from 3-4 I do. My oldest is involved in more things, her volleyball season just ended and it was 2-3 games a week. It was hard going to games with a 2 yo ( and 8 yo, but she wasn't the issue ) ...I'm thinking how will I do this kind of stuff?!? The oldest is already complaining of not getting enough one on one time

[pregnant@40]

I'm feeling the same way about #2, due in Feb. I have devoted myself to my son for 6 years, but now that we're pregnant again, I'm already mourning the loss of time w/ my first "only child".