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Weekly Chat Thread Oct 18-24 - Page 3

post #41 of 90
thanks...i'm trying not to stress about it. i pulled haye out of school today because we were both up ALL NIGHT LONG for some reason

("and mom, do a sad face" ) lol...how appropriate

and also called in sick to the daycare program i have to work at his school this morning because i can't very likely leave him home unattended for 2 hours. so yay! i usually hate tuesdays because they are so crazy...i go from making lunch to dropping him off to working at daycare with 15 toddlers under 5

("mom, now do that one )

to rushing home to going to english to coming home to eat to getting haye to rushing to his kid's church group to coming home and making dinner...man i hate tuesdays.

so we're going to hang out and play plants vs. zombies and do nothing instead. weee!
post #42 of 90
Thread Starter 
My midwife is going to do my birth for free! I'll be doing prenatals with the OBs in town and she's going to come down here for the birth. All I will have to pay for is my copays and birth tub rental. i can't believe it!
post #43 of 90
becca,
Hopefully the migranes will go away by week 14 when your hormones and blood volume start stabilizing. Hope you can find some relief in the meantime!

MrsBone, this had the jelly baked into the meat and as a crockpot sauce. Meatballs are one of those things that I firmly prefer savory. I can understand the apricot more then the grape for some reason..

rylee,
That sounds horrible. I hope your hubby finds something.

Evergreen,
backflip, backflip, backflip!!! That is so wonderful. Im so glad you get to have your homebirth and use a care provider you are comfortable with! What wonderful news!
post #44 of 90
ryleee that sounds great!

Evergreen Congrats!!!!

Well since I haven't joined the m/s club yet I'm in the clear? lol 11 weeks tomorrow! Got people installing new ducts in our house since our old ones were leaking and caused a giant hole in the ceiling...but that will be fixed very soon! The guy we have chosen is out of town til tomorrow and then we'll set a date! I can't wait to have the hole gone!!! And no air right now sucks lol Texas weather...still hottt! Only a few more days and they will be done!

One thing that has changed though is I get full really quick. I used to eat and eat and eat! Now just one eat and I'm done lol Why is that?
post #45 of 90
SLB - a couple reasons as to why you can't eat as much!

First off, blame the hormones! When you get pregnant, your body begins producing hormones that actually slow down the digestion process. You get more out of the food than you did previously, but you can't eat as much since it's sits around in your stomach for longer. Not only that, but things sit in your intestines longer, backing up the whole process. The main culprit here is progesterone, with some help from relaxin, as I recall.

Not only that, but as your uterus grows, it starts exerting pressure upwards against your intestines and stomach - that pressure can also change digestion, and limit space... so you won't be able to eat as much in a single sitting as you're used to.

The main suggestion I've heard is to eat smaller meals but more of them (or snack more), and don't drink when you eat, since liquid obviously takes up space too. Drink between meals if you can.

I'm definitely noticing that I'm taking longer to eat less - I don't know if it's because of the reasons listed above, or if my stomach just got used to eating less when morning sickness was a big issue. Either way, I swear I'm going to stab our roommate with a fork if he jokes one more time about how I don't finish all the food on my plate. It's the most frustrating thing in the world, not being able to eat like I used to!
post #46 of 90
Becca weren't you talking about fried shrimp last week or in the cravings thread??? Hahaha glad you got some.

Last night... I had... wild pacific salmon, kale (with a little bacon), and brown rice. I am so proud of myself for eating those leafy greens! DH was genius about pulling out the home grown bacon from animals his mom raised last year. It completely made it not like chewy hard kale.

Normally I like leafy greens but first tri has been hard.

So they moved my EDD to 5/9/11 and pushed me up - I'm 11w1d (up from my est of 9.5 weeks) which makes me very nervous cause due to weird cycles I have no good info on dates. So they said they'll readjust if necessary at the full scan 18-20 weeks. And they said 42 weeks before induction and even then, it's not mandatory if I just want to stay home.

Eating-wise... I will be back on the scale on 11/8 at the docs. I've managed to keep up exercise and I'm eating MOSTLY healthy with treats in good portions so I'm trying not to stress it.

Good day mamas!
post #47 of 90
oh and EVERGREEN - what WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #48 of 90
I just ate an entire Naan pizza and half a container of Kozy Shack chocolate pudding for lunch. So full now, but I think my food aversions may be going away :-)
post #49 of 90
is feeling a little better for today too early to hope the m/s is on the way out? i had cheese fries with a side of pickles today and i haven't eaten anything that tasted so scrumptious in a long time.

getting ready to fry up some pork chops for dinner i cannot wait!

ok--this next issue may be a little tmi for some so proceed with caution. in the last week or so i have been showering at least twice a day because i feel like i am smelling horrendous. from "down there." it seems like a super sweaty aroma that i honestly am embarrassed about. i feel like everyone around me can smell it. i have never experienced this before. there is no itchiness or discharge or fishy smell at all, so i don't think there is an infection. like i stated before, it just smells like pungent sweat.

i swear i am a clean person!!!
post #50 of 90
Nixnc - I've been having night sweats... could that be part of the problem? Mine usually wake me up at night, but even when they don't I have to shower first thing for similar reasons. The area between my thighs seems to either sweat the most, or just not dry off as quickly. If you're having night sweats that just aren't quite as bad (and so not waking you up), that could be causing odor problems!

If that's not it, well - I know that the changing hormones of pregnancy can change our own odor, both generally speaking and vaginally. It doesn't happen to everyone, but it does happen. You may want to ask your doctor anyways, but chances are that's what's going on. From what I've read, you should start smelling like yourself again after the baby is born - and don't forget, your nose is also probably a lot more sensitive now than it was just a few months ago!

One other thing - as your body scent changes, it will also react differently with any scented soaps you may use. You may want to try changing to a low- or no-scent body soap and see if that helps.
post #51 of 90
Another "back on greens" person here...I made red lentil dhal tonight and wilted in a ton of baby spinach and it tasted awesome! You know you are moving away from nausea when the thought of spinach is exciting instead of dreadful. YAY! I got overly enthusiastic, though, and now I am sooooo full

Re: odor...not quite the same, but along that line...when I got pregnant with DS2, I was using liquid crystal deodorant, had been for quite some time and loved it. It stopped working for me within a few days of conceiving...all of a sudden I was smelly by mid-morning and couldn't figure out why. Definitely the hormones can do all sorts of bizarre things to pretty much everything in your body!
post #52 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by kamalynsky View Post
Seafox - At my first appointment, the midwife flat out told me (I hadn't asked) that she wouldn't bother looking for a heartbeat. I was just shy of 9 weeks, and she said "I probably won't find one so early, and if I don't, it'll only freak you out even when everything else looks just fine so far." I didn't push, but I'm impatiently waiting for Monday, now, when I'll be just shy of 13.

In other news, I called up the doula group I plan on using, told them where I was giving birth, that I wanted a natural birth, etc. etc. and was super excited to find out that apparently the doulas adore working with the midwives' group at the hospital I'll be going to. We'd gone back and forth in our research between a couple different hospitals before settling on this one, so it's good to have that extra bit of conformation! The husband and I are going to call up and confirm we'll be making use of them after our appointment next week.

Yeah, she didn't even try! Evidently my uterus is still pretty retroverted (she did a pap smear) so she figured it would just not yield anything. So I am now waiting until 11/10 to find out if we are carrying a bean or not, not *too* far away I guess. I have to call and find out though, my insurance evidently might not cover nuchal scans anymore, and might only cover one u/s. I don't want to have to wait though until 20 weeks to know everything is okay after I went so long holding my last miscarriage.
post #53 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evergreen View Post
My midwife is going to do my birth for free! I'll be doing prenatals with the OBs in town and she's going to come down here for the birth. All I will have to pay for is my copays and birth tub rental. i can't believe it!

Good deal!

I am thinking of buying my pool already! I know what I want but it may be too big - ie. take too much water. I labour quickly so don't want to miss out on a water birth!
post #54 of 90

Tough day today..

Complete emotional breakdown today after second OB appt. It's so hard to deal with the level of care you receive and the lack of personality and humanity. Oh, Ladies who are having their first babies with a midwife, be so greatful for the care you receive. Truly appreciate how beautiful it is that you know the person helping you to birth your baby and have actual relationship with them. It's such a special thing and midwives are such amazing women to give so much of themselves in relationship, time and energy to birth. This OB is even one of the "good" ones. She is recommend highly on ICAN and has a low section rate.

But I just dont want to do shadow care. My heart isnt in it. I was trying to be all scientific and reasonable.. My favorite midwife takes so few VBACs (literally one a year, maybe) because she promised her backup OBs years ago that she wouldnt. She has a fantastic relationship with them.. they let her into the OR during urgent transfers, they even let her catch sometimes if they have to transfer but stll have a vaginal birth. She has a 10 year relationship with them.. birthed her own babies with them many years ago...

So we had decided Id use this other Doc for shadowcare incase we needed to transfer to the local hospital (her docs are outta another hospital awhile away). At first it felt like I was getting the best of both worlds.. but after two appts with the OB now, I just cant spin it any way that is good.

They do a drug panel I pay anywhere from 30 to 125 dollars out of pocket for until my lab deductible is met, EVERY visit. Fine, if I was positive the first time, then whatever.. not that it isnt a totally messed up policy to begin with.. but every visit? Seriously? Sometimes they do a full panel like the first time and sometimes they do a screen that is cheaper at 30 bucks out of pocket, on top of my 30.00 deductible.. Every visit. I know they do it because they have alot of people on insurance aid. I actually picked this office indirectly because they had such a high DSHS contingent.. they dont pull out all the technological bells and whistles when you have state insurance. I thought it would help ward against the Doc that wanted to do a U/S at every visit.. But now, it feel so stereotyping and profiling. It's a family practice, which I als had viewed as a plus.. but not in cold and flu seasons in the Pac NW. I've waited 1.5 hours or longer for both visits, our whole family got sick after the first one, for 2 weeks. It was horrible.

Then today she cant find the hb at 11w2. I know that there is a heartbeat, because it takes me about 30 seconds to find one and Ive SEEN the bean on the US at this point from my midwife appt last week. She wants to send me somewhere for an U/S.. and I had to just ask her if I could have the doppler for a second, my fundus is WAY UP HERE LIKE I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU.. bam, there the hb is. She searched for 8 minutes. I know, because I was looking at my second hand to time... Anyway, it was just crummy and felt like a medicialized cattle yard.

I called my midwife and asked if she would be offended if I went with another midwife that didnt require me to do Shadow care and we discussed who the best midwife would be in that situation. She was completely supportive and said she'll still come to my birth just to support me if I want.

What I want is to enjoy this pregnancy which will likely be my last one. I want to gestate in peace and be allowed to birth my baby the way my body decides. Not some arbitrary guideline or scare tactic. Ideally, this would happen at home. Please, God. Let it happen at home. I think I was scared until to day to say how much I want a homebirth. Not because of some idealogical crap, but just because Ive spent my whole life being told I was broken in some way.. and damnit, just for once.. I'd like to have things work the way they are "supposed" to. I have went to so many homebirths at this point, seeing families all snuggled up, blissed out on oxytocin.. uninterferred with. I want that. I want nobody to wake me and my baby up every two hours to take my temperature and hand me some drug that is supposed to mask pain. Im okay with feeling pain. What I dont want to feel again is backed into corners, betrayed, lied to.

I called the other midwife and Thank God she isnt full. We have met in passing before, but it felt so good to talk to her a little more. She is an ND, so she brings a whole different skill set and perspective with her and she doesnt like VBAC clients to do shadowcare because she says it sets up a feeling of sneaking around and not being able to be fully honest with the OB and nobody feels really good about it at the end. She wants to change the community unwritten standard of not doing VBACs at home.. We have my first appt next week.

Anyway, I feel so much better now. It feels good to not have to do double visits. I cant even imagine how crazy that would have felt at the end of pregnancy on top of the extra chiro appointments I need.

So, phew. It feels good to vent but my eyes hurt from crying.
post #55 of 90
MamaChef I totally know what you mean about not wanting all the double appointments...and definitely, doing both highlights how sucky the industrial birth approach is. I had to do shadow care last time around, it was a huge pain (even though the family doc was lovely and super supportive...but she did prenatals at the huge clinic at the hospital so it still felt really institutional).

I'm so glad the other midwife had room for you, and I hope your home birth goes amazingly!
post #56 of 90
evergreen - wow, what luck. how wonderful for you.

mamachef - glad things worked out, but to you. i got emotional just reading your post (some things you said really hit home for me too).

turns out i don't think i'll be able to have the homebirth i was hoping for. things were already tight and i wasn't sure how we were going to afford it, but now things have gotten worse. i got laid off yesterday. they say they're hoping it's only temporary until enrollment picks up, but who knows. there's just no way we'll have $4500 extra dollars for the midwife unless some miracle happens.

honestly, i'm not so worried about me (i can find some kind of work, even if it's crappy and just temporary), but i worry about my daughter. i'm a montessori elementary teacher and dd is in the children's house. obviously, one of the perks of working there is free tuition for dd. now i'm laid off with no money coming in AND have to come up with tuition for her. they said they'd try to "work something out" so she can stay, but i'm not sure what they have in mind. i really don't want to disturb or uproot her. she's thriving there and is so happy. she loves her teachers and her friends and just loves going there every day. and i love being so near to her -- that hurts too.

i'm trying to be grateful for what we do have, but this is just an added stress that i don't need right now.

thanks for letting me vent.

oh, they gave me the news yesterday in the middle of the day, but expect me to come to work today. i haven't slept and i've been crying all morning, i'm going to be really effective today.

i guess it's good, i need to tell the students something (and the parents). last week i got to gather them together and share happy news (about the baby), now this.

well, i'm off.
post #57 of 90
Thread Starter 
MamaChef. That sounds even worse than my situation because as limited as I feel my options are you have being VBAC thrown into the whole mix. I am so glad that you managed to get into the other midwife so soon and she isn't full.

Your OB doing your shadow care sounds insane. I am seeing a verrrry mainstream practice and they do not do a drug screen. If they did I would tell them that's fine but I'm not paying for it. I already get drug tested at work and I hate the invasion. But work is paying me not the other way around! They also do 3 ultrasounds- early dating, 20 week diagnostic, and 38 week placenta, fluid and "size" check. I already told them that if my fluid seems fine and my placenta is high I'm not doing that one. They understood. So, I would say that your shadow care practice is not the norm.

I am just elated for you that you have found this other midwife!
post #58 of 90
MamaChef, Good for you for getting out of that situation! I'm glad you've found a supportive midwife!

Evergreen, Yay! How awesome!

As for me, I'm still working on finding peace with a likely RCS. I really have tried my hardest to find a VBA3C opportunity (and my OB may let me, but it's a long shot.) I am working on giving myself permission to accept the CS with peace. I just want the anxiety to stop.
post #59 of 90
kamalynsky--i think you are on target with the soap. i went right out and got fragrance free dove sensitive yesterday and i feel much more "clean" today!

still a little queasy but not so wretched these last 2 days.hope i am turning a corner.

i went to my MW/OB office today to get my medical records transferred. i am very excited! the place is very clean and fresh. the entire staff i encountered were all smiles and happy. the lady at the front desk was calling me by my first name and seemed interested in me. i really feel this was a good decision! my first appt is next wednesday!
post #60 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by samstress View Post

turns out i don't think i'll be able to have the homebirth i was hoping for. things were already tight and i wasn't sure how we were going to afford it, but now things have gotten worse. i got laid off yesterday. they say they're hoping it's only temporary until enrollment picks up, but who knows. there's just no way we'll have $4500 extra dollars for the midwife unless some miracle happens.

honestly, i'm not so worried about me (i can find some kind of work, even if it's crappy and just temporary), but i worry about my daughter. i'm a montessori elementary teacher and dd is in the children's house. obviously, one of the perks of working there is free tuition for dd. now i'm laid off with no money coming in AND have to come up with tuition for her. they said they'd try to "work something out" so she can stay, but i'm not sure what they have in mind. i really don't want to disturb or uproot her. she's thriving there and is so happy. she loves her teachers and her friends and just loves going there every day. and i love being so near to her -- that hurts too.

i'm trying to be grateful for what we do have, but this is just an added stress that i don't need right now.

thanks for letting me vent.

oh, they gave me the news yesterday in the middle of the day, but expect me to come to work today. i haven't slept and i've been crying all morning, i'm going to be really effective today.

i guess it's good, i need to tell the students something (and the parents). last week i got to gather them together and share happy news (about the baby), now this.

well, i'm off.
This sounds stressful. I hope they are able to work something out with you. Maybe homeschooling would work for you?
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