We need a dramatic cut back in TV watching - ideas??

[busymama77]

DS watches quite a bit of TV and it's getting to the point that he'll be so interested in what he's watching that he won't listen to something that I'm asking him to do. So, in turn, it turns in to me being the bad mommy and shutting off the TV in the middle of his show and then the whining starts and it's a bad start to our day. It drives me crazy!

He watches about 20 minutes in the morning while having breakfast. At night, it's usually from the time we get home 6:30 - until he goes to bed and that's 8:30/9pm. There are breaks from time to time - bed time, play time w/ DH or I inside or outside, story time, etc., But still, I feel that he overall watches way too much for his age - he'll be 5 in a couple of months.

Also, he has a TV in his room and that was probably a big no-no from the get go, but regardless, I feel like something needs to be done and I need ideas on how to slowly transition his allotted time of TV watching to a more logical time frame.

[carmel23]

Personally, I would just pull the plug and explain that "We are taking a vacation from television."

Are there special things that your son enjoys? Is this child 3/4 years-old?

How about play dough, painting, black building, etc? There are those little kits from Michael's where you can glue the wooden pieces together and paint a little train or race-car.

I personally would get a lot of little things he enjoys to do-- whatever that is-- and pull the plug on the television. Take the tv out of the bedroom and put it in a closet.

Explain childhood only happens once, and you want him to have happy memories, not memories of a bunch of tv shows.

Expect to invest some extra time with him. If it is hard to be at home without television then go to the park, etc. Spend the time you'd be watching tv doing something outside, something new!

My 3.5 year-old *loves* books on tape, kid songs, etc. from the library. So she will listen to those instead of television.

We have family 'movie night' on fridays where we watch a movie, but otherwise we are tv free. I WAH with 2 kids (my dd goes to school 1/2 days, 4 days per week--but otherwise it's her and baby and me, until we get her brothers from school) and believe me, the temptation is there to steal 30 minutes here and there with television, but it really isn't a good solution.

[Alyantavid]

I'd take the tv out of his room to start with.

We don't do tv/videogames during the week. So from bedtime Sunday night until they get home Friday afternoon, there's no tv on at all. Weekends, they have free reign. Which usually ends up meaning a movie Friday night, cartoons Saturday morning, maybe 1 movie and a couple hours of videogames.

My kids don't get up early enough to watch tv in the mornings so we haven't had that issue. We do get home early in the afternoons (4ish) and we have a snack, do some homeschooling stuff, go outside, they have an entire playroom to play in and tons of books to read. I've found it was much easier to make this switch when they had other things to distract them. New puzzles, new books, just something different that will make them realize they survived a whole afternoon with no tv.

[pianojazzgirl]

We too were having way too much screen time around here and we decided that instead of trying to gently cut back we were going to go cold turkey screen-free, and then after a month or so reintroduce screen time with some serious limits attached. So far we are a few weeks into the screen-free time and it has been GREAT! I realized before we started that it would mean more hand-on time from me to get the kids interested in craft projects, playing with their toys, etc. I had an arsenal of distractions in place like play dough, craft supplies, colouring pages, old toys brought out to play with again, etc. Now I don't even need to do much instigating. The kids don't even ask for tv or computer and easily find things to amuse themselves. I was thinking that screen-free was a temporary situation, but we might stick with it!

[amyjeans]

with 4 kids and 1 on the way- tv can be a life saver, but my kids were junkies for a while. We downgraded our cable to basically nothing- all they get is PBS, and after a while- it gets a bit repetative. By restricting all that they can view- they lose interest in tv altogether.
We do not allow tv during any eating time (otherwise they won't eat!)
We're all home all day and find other things to do together. Crafts are a big help- so is housework!
Sometimes ya just gotta be mama and sure there will be resistance, but not for very long.

[Drummer's Wife]

Can you cut the cable? Or at least have it on for only certain parts of the day (and maybe not in his room)? If you do this, the only thing left is PBS and DVD's, right? We don't even have PBS, and the only DVD player is the one that is part of the computer, so my kids are a bit limited just from that perspective (they watch shows on netflix instant, but if I had an issue with it I would cancel our membership).

eta: was posting the same time as PP.

[Alyantavid]

Oh yeah, the no cable helps a ton. When there's nothing to watch, it's easy to get them away from it. We do have lots of movies and netflix though.

[staceychev]

Yeah, we cut cable and it helps a lot. It's easier to say "One Barbie movie and then you're done." :eyeroll

But, agree with PPs:
Number one: get the TV out of his room
Number two: no eating in front of TV

Then, have lots of crafts and toys that he can get at himself easily.

[travlr]

We do "No TV Week" around here. It happens whenever I think my girls are too engaged with TV and I feel like I'm passively parenting. It happens about twice a year. It's not a punishment. We brainstorm special things to do during No TV Week- art, dancing, cooking, board games, etc. My husband and I participate in No TV Week too so the girls know that we're all going through it together.

Also, we do Netflix not network/cable TV so I feel I have more control about the day to day TV. When a show ends it doesn't go to commercial and on to another show. We actively choose shows and the TV goes off when the show ends.

[pregnant@40]

You're the boss, not the 4yo. Turn off the tv, go outside, and kick a soccer ball w/him. Or play a board game & then start the "bedtime process" by 7 every night (ie. bath, brush teeth, books, bed). It may be that he has no idea how to fill his time w/ other activities, so maybe you need to introduce these.

[zinemama]

That is a lot of TV for a young child. You're the parent here. Set limits. Doing so doesn't make you a "bad mommy." It makes you someone who is acting like a responsible parent.

If I were you I would do three things:

1. Take the TV out of his room.
2. Decide what seems like a logical amount of TV for your 4yo to be watching. If you're going to keep the TV (I wouldn't), then decide when he gets to watch. Morning? During meal prep?
3. Stick to the limits you have set. Turn the TV off when his time is up, no exceptions.

Of course there will be whining and complaining. He's 4. But he will get over it and find ways to entertain himself.

[eepster]

Whenever DS starts to get a bit too media centered, I make a point of being really busy for couple of days. Just breaking the habit every now and then makes a huge difference.

We have neither cable nor an antenna, so we don't watch TV exactly at home. DS watches either DVDs or shows on websites. This has several advantages. Limited advertising is a big one. Another is that I never have to turn it off in the middle of a show, we just pause it till later. I watch my own shows on hulu.com, which is handy in that I can wait till DS is asleep or busy somewhere else to watch shows that are inappropriate for him, such as "House" or "Medium."

[MAMom]

We've put the t.v. in the attic a couple of times when it's gotten out of control. There's a lot of whining for a few days, but it really helped us tame the t.v. bug. Out of sight, out of mind. Then when it returns, it's easier to impose stricter limits. When DS was 5 I think he got 1 hr. of tv time, now he is 7.5 and watches 30-60 minutes after school only - no t.v. before school.

We also went from 2 t.v.'s in the house to one and ditched cable, so there are fewer options. We removed the t.v. from the living room and only have a t.v. in our bedroom. It's sometimes a pain to have the kids in our room to watch, but I think it's worth the trade-off, since when they are in the rest of the house they are not tempted to turn it on.

[Arduinna]

I second no tv in the bedroom. Heck my 20 year old doesn't even have a tv in her bedroom, neither do I.

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

Can you cut the cable? Or at least have it on for only certain parts of the day (and maybe not in his room)? If you do this, the only thing left is PBS and DVD's, right? We don't even have PBS, and the only DVD player is the one that is part of the computer, so my kids are a bit limited just from that perspective (they watch shows on netflix instant, but if I had an issue with it I would cancel our membership).

eta: was posting the same time as PP.

He currently watches Cartoon Network, PBS Sprout and a movie of his choice - like last night, he chose to watch Toy Story for a little while before it was time for jammies and a story.
We're starting slowly... TV was cut off at 8:30. Tonight, it'll be cut off at 8:15 and so on....
There are times he'll walk in to the family room while I'm down there doing stuff and ask why the TV isn't on! I just say "mama doesn't feel like watching it right now, I'm doing xyz and the TV doesn't always have to be on".

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by pregnant@40

You're the boss, not the 4yo. Turn off the tv, go outside, and kick a soccer ball w/him. Or play a board game & then start the "bedtime process" by 7 every night (ie. bath, brush teeth, books, bed). It may be that he has no idea how to fill his time w/ other activities, so maybe you need to introduce these.

But see, he does. I'll find that the TV is on sometimes in his room for just background noise while he's playing with his Batman Cave or firetruck or doing a puzzle or building something.

[3xMama]

I also say just unplug the TV and be done with it. Slowly cutting back would upset my DD (also 4) more than just saying no when she asks to watch a show. After not watching TV and being entertained with other measures for a few days or weeks even, let him choose one movie or one show and leave it at that. We try to limit it to around an hour a day-unless someone is sick.

If its background noise he's after, ditch the TV in his room and put a CD player in there instead. Check out some kid cds or classical music from the library and let him listen to those. Find out what he likes and buy a few.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by busymama77

We're starting slowly... TV was cut off at 8:30. Tonight, it'll be cut off at 8:15 and so on....

8:15 would drive almost anyone batty. Shows either end on the hour or the half hour, so 8:15 means you are doomed to shutting off a show half way through. I would instead of making the shut off time definite, especially at half way through a show, make it a no starting new shows after X:YZ time.

I would set the rule as, last episode of whatever half hour show he wants at 7:30, then it gets turned off when the credits start going. With DS, I try avoid letting him start shows right before bedtime and what not. I often say, 40 minutes before bedtime "Last video, don't start another when this one ends."

[amyjeans]

I agree about the cd player- my kids put on all sorts of music while hanging out and playing. Sometimes silence while playing is incredibly peaceful!
Seriously, you'll see how quickly he'll adapt to the tv not being on- it is however much harder for us grownups!

[oaktreemama]

We have only one TV in our house and most of our friends think we are weird. Some people I know have four or five TV's-one for the LR, the den, the basement playroom, their room, etc.

My friends ask me, "no TV in your bedroom?? Well, what do you do at night?" Oh you know, read, sleep or have sex-to me that is what the bed is for.

Our boy will never have a TV or computer in his room. Those are for our shared area which in our small house is our living room. TV is not on at night until after he goes to bed (I TIVO stuff). We do watch sports because we are big fans and want do not mind if our son is as well.

But, he watches nothing else-no cartoons, no Nick, no Disney, no Hannah Montana or whatever.