We need a dramatic cut back in TV watching - ideas?? - Page 2

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by amyjeans

I agree about the cd player- my kids put on all sorts of music while hanging out and playing. Sometimes silence while playing is incredibly peaceful!
Seriously, you'll see how quickly he'll adapt to the tv not being on- it is however much harder for us grownups!

The CD player is a good idea. I will look in to that. He does love music quite a bit.

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by busymama77

But see, he does. I'll find that the TV is on sometimes in his room for just background noise while he's playing with his Batman Cave or firetruck or doing a puzzle or building something.

So? It's still part of the the whole TV dominating atmosphere. Put music on in the living room. It doesn't have to be kiddy music, it can be your own grown-up music.

People, including 4 y.o.s, switch on the tv for background noise because they're lonely, bored and anxious. Your son can learn how to be alone with himself.

Edited to add, boy I sound grumpy here. Sorry, didn't mean to scold. But I do think it's necessary and good for kids to learn to be comfortable without background noise. I think there's something wrong if they can't do that sometimes.

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by busymama77

But see, he does. I'll find that the TV is on sometimes in his room for just background noise while he's playing with his Batman Cave or firetruck or doing a puzzle or building something.

This is why you should remove the TV from his room if you want to be the one in charge of when it gets watched. You shouldn't be "finding the TV on." As the parent, you should be the one turning it on and off.

I second the CD player idea. My 5yo listens to books on tape on his for hours.

[Cascadian]

Definitely remove the tv from his room. We, as adults, decided not to have one in there either. It's too easy to just turn it on than have a conversation or (other things).

We went cold turkey, then DH just pulled cable for a while. That seemed to help.

[straighthaircurly]

A good way to start cutting back is to first plan out your goal. How much per day? How much per week? Any times of day that TV is especially disruptive (ex. we can not turn on the TV in the morning before school because it will always precipitate a fight when it is time to turn it off.

I recommend getting the TV out of the bedroom. No transition, just gone. IMO no one should have a TV in their bedroom and especially a child.

Then discuss the goal with your DS and explain what times of day he can watch and for how long. Give him a ticket for each half hour time slot he can watch each day. Then review the TV schedule and let him decide ahead of time which shows are most important to him. Then if you want to create an incentive to watch less TV, tell him any unused TV tickets at the end of a day can be put in a special jar. If he gets 10 unused tickets he can pick a special outing (make a list of choices with him that will work financially and timewise). Make sure that the TV is never on for just background noise because he wil be drawn to it.

To help him resist the TV or not miss it so much, plan for some extra playtime with him during the day (do a puzzle together, build a fort, get out paints, play a board game, read a book together, go for a hike or a bike ride). If you start playing an open ended activity with him (Legos, coloring, etc.) he is likely to continue it even after you get up to do other things.

[PennyRoo]

Good for you for deciding that there's too much TV and for determining to make a change!

My in-laws walk into our house on a visit and TURN ON THE TV. It's always on for them. We are by no means TV-free, but IME TV is addictive, with withdrawal symptoms of restlessness, and a need for action/noise. My in-laws' need for TV as background noise is so great that sometimes they do not even notice what is on - once I walked in when they were ostensibly caring for our kids and there was a really inappropriate show featuring a young girl (My DD's age) who had been raped and murdered. The more TV kids (and people in general) tend to watch, the more they want it. I really notice the presence of too much TV atrophies creativity and imagination. We really limit screen time, except for when someone is sick. Then I notice after an episode of illness when there has been a lot of couch/TV time, my DD whines "what can I dooooooo." The less TV we have the more creative she gets. I suspect this will be the case with your son as you lessen his dependency on the TV.

OK, so that was my soapbox, but you did not ask for a soapbox, you asked for suggestions. I love the idea of creating a "vacation from TV" to go cold turkey for a while and break him out of the habit, then reintroduce in a way that you find manageable. What about kicking off your TV free week with some Halloween festivities (if you celebrate it)? One night you could paint or carve pumpkins and make pumpkin seeds, the next night you could make pumpkin bread and have it with hot cocoa, the next night you could light candles and read halloween stories or tell silly/age appropriate ghost stories, decorate the house, do a treasure hunt in PJs or dress-up clothes, etc etc, and you could cap off the week with a twilight walk out in your neighborhood to see halloween decorations other houses have. (Our neighborhood gets pretty nutty - maybe that's not the case with yours - you might have to drive to other neighborhoods to see a good display.)

I agree with other posters who said you're going to have to work to substitute other things and make it a celebration rather than a punishment. Do you work outside the home? (You mentioned you get home @ 6:30.) Are you using the TV to help you through the hectic time of dinner prep and clean-up? (No judgment here - I'm a WOHM and call that time "the witching hour.") Perhaps the night of your no TV kick-off you could order a pizza, or get subway sandwidhes, or whatever, to make that first evening easier for you.

Maybe you can involve DS in the dinner prep, or create a small area for him in the kitchen with a special project he can work on to be near you while you work. We just painted a small wall leading out of our kitchen with black chalkboard paint and it's amazing how much our kids use it and hang out in the kitchen while I do meal prep/tidying.

Another suggestion to ease the transition is books on tape. (I think your DS is about 4 -5 ish?) My Dd at that age loved the Kevin Henkes books on CD we'd get from the library, as well as the Franklin (the turtle) series. Awesome for car rides, so I imagine for your house as well, to entertain him while you are otherwise occupied.

Just a few ideas . . . hope some of them will be useful - - good luck! Would love an update to hear how it's going.

[lilymerkin]

I also would like to cut back on tv-time in our household. The kids watch far too much of it, and throw fits when it's limited, which to me means that they're depending on it too too much.

Unfortunately, my DH was raised on tv and loves having it on in the evening. He's not on board with severely limiting our tv time.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by lilymerkin

I also would like to cut back on tv-time in our household. The kids watch far too much of it, and throw fits when it's limited, which to me means that they're depending on it too too much.

Unfortunately, my DH was raised on tv and loves having it on in the evening. He's not on board with severely limiting our tv time.

This is why when DS starts getting a bit video focused and we do a "TV vacation," I try to keep him busy out of the house. If we aren't at home, there is no TV to whine over, and there is no chance of DH just deciding to pop in a video to keep DS quiet. Playgrounds, the mall, the library, local attractions like the zoo, even just a trip to Costco are all useful for keeping us away from the temptation of TV and computers.

Another thing that helps, is we keep the TV and DVD player inside an armoire with doors that close so you aren't looking at the turned off TV all the time. OUT of sight; out of mind.

[jecombs]

Originally Posted by lilymerkin

I also would like to cut back on tv-time in our household. The kids watch far too much of it, and throw fits when it's limited, which to me means that they're depending on it too too much.

Unfortunately, my DH was raised on tv and loves having it on in the evening. He's not on board with severely limiting our tv time.

Mine too! I would also like DD to have less TV, but DH likes to use it as a babysitter for her.

The times I have been successful at limiting TV, I have used music. DD loves music and I bought her a CD player at a yard sale. She will sometimes even choose music over TV.

Thanks for all the ideas, pps! This thread is going to give me some talking points to use with my DH. We may try a TV-free week next week, as there will be lots of Halloween festivities to participate in, which will keep us away from the house and the TV.

[attached2ethan]

We've had this problem too with our 5yo and 7yo. I had a baby 5 months ago preceded by a horrific pregnancy that rendered me bedriddren for months, so TV was a necessary evil for us to get through those times. However, after the baby was born I realized it was time to get down to business and get my poor screen junkies AWAY from the TV and the video games.

I just explained to them that now that mommy isn't sick anymore, we're going to start doing more things together and limiting our screen time. They get 30 minutes per day on school days and 1 hour on weekends. Many days they don't use that time because we're off doing something else, but I feel like that's reasonable compared to what we were doing. It's been harder for me but they've eased into it pretty well. Some days I'm more flexible (like today, I have a sick baby who is very crabby and my husband is out of town) but for the most part I set a timer and when it beeps, we're done!

[alison77]

TV has been a problem for us as well and we found that we had to limit times that it could be turned on. We live with my mom so don't have the ability to totally get rid of it, which is what we'll do as soon as we move out in a few months. I used to let DS watch TV in the morning before school but it was as the PP said, I would end up being the bad guy stopping the TV in the middle of his show and it was a terrible start to the day with him mad at me. We had a lot of complaints that first one or two weeks, but after that it was just a given and our mornings are so much more peaceful! We are working on getting the kids more excited about things like 'game night' and they put the games out while we do the things that we might otherwise be giving them TV to get done like dinner or quick clean up.

I like the timer suggestion - will have to try that.

The other suggestion I liked from a friend of mine was the Berenstain Bears books - they have a series of books on children's issues, one of which is called 'Too Much TV'. Basically Mama Bear finds that the cubs are watching too much TV and makes the whole family including Papa Bear not watch TV for a whole week, and they rediscover what the things were that they liked to do. When the week is up, Brother Bear is so excited to get snacks and just sit in front of TV all day, but eventually just is bored of it b/c there are more things to do. This prompted my guys to think more about it and they even wanted to do the TV-free week challenge themselves after reading it.

Good luck!